I Love You, but I Fear Love

I walked into the house and saw a flash of color zoom around the corner and away from the door. I rolled my eyes, knowing that at least one of my foster siblings were spying on me and Gerard. I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it, no matter who was watching me. They love to give me hell about anything.

"November, honey, is that you?" I walked into the kitchen to find Sasha standing at the stove. Geez, does she ever stop cooking?

Raymond bounded up to me and just about tackled me as he tried to lick my face. I giggled and pet his head in attempt to calm him down. He eventually calmed down and sat by my legs with his tongue hanging out lazily.

"I'm making bacon and eggs, dear. Do you want some?" I looked up at her and she had on her sweet, motherly smile.

"Oh, I'm a vegetarian. Didn't my social worker tell you that?" I asked, confused. Kiara should have told Sasha about my vegetarianism.

"Oh, no, I wasn't told that. Well, I guess you can just have eggs, then." Her smile faltered a bit, but she brought it back up and turned back around to cook. Matthew and Hailey came running in with stupid little grins on their faces.

"Guess what Marissa just told us?" Marissa is one of the younger kids. She's only in second grade, and though she may look adorable, she can give anyone big attitude. I groaned, knowing what their answer was going to be.

"What did she see?" Sasha asked, turning around with a slightly amused look on her face. Matthew gave me a devilish grin before he launched into his version of what happened between me and Gerard.

"November was sucking face with that drug addict, Gerard Way!" I banged my head against the table and glared at him. Hailey was literally on the floor, laughing her head off. Before Sasha could scold me, which I knew she was going to do, I spoke up.

"He's not a drug addict. He's sobering up, meaning he doesn't do them anymore." I lied, though it was partially true. Sasha's eyes were still sort of bugging out of her head.

"November, I don't want you around those boys."

"Sasha, him and his brother are the sons of Donna. You know, your book club friend?" If it's possible, her eyes got even bigger.

"Donna never told me about her boys. They were over at this house, in your room!" I knew where she was going, and I didn't like it.

"Sasha! We didn't do anything! Plus, his little brother, Mikey, is perfectly fine. A little on the shy, quiet side, but he's fine!" I couldn't help it as my voice rose, my anger building at her obvious dislike of Gerard.

"He's also an alcoholic..." Hailey said softly, a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips. I sent her a death glare as Sasha's face started to turn red with anger.

"He drinks, too?!" I looked back at Sasha.

"Not anymore! Like I said, he's sobering up!" She turned to Hailey and Matthew.

"Please leave. I need to talk to November. Alone."

"But, Sasha-."

"I said go!" I was honestly shocked. I'd never seen Sasha raise her voice, ever. Matthew and Hailey left in a hurry, leaving just me and Sasha. She turned back to me.

"November, I don't want you seeing that boy anymore." I felt my mouth hang open.

"What? But, Sasha, you can't-."

"I can do what I please. You will not see that boy anymore. Understood?"

"But, Sasha, I-."

"Understood?" I realized that I wasn't going to win this fight, so I nodded curtly and ran up to my room. I flopped onto my bed and took out my phone to text Gerard.

Hey... Sasha said that I can't see you anymore... I felt the tears prickle at the corners of my eyes as I pressed send. I instantly got a reply.

what? why?

My siblings saw me kiss you and told her... Along with telling her that you're an addict and an alcoholic. I told her that you're sobering up, but she freaked out... I'm so sorry =[

ember... i like you too much to just let you go. I was secretly hoping that he would just drop it without a fight, but a little part of me jumped for joy because he cared for me.

But how are we going to do this? My siblings go to the same school as us, Gerard.

we'll just have to sneak around. please tell me that you'll go along with this. i like you a lot, ember. I felt a little pang in my heart. He really cared for me. Now I had to make a decision. Do I want to risk his life to be with him, or do I want to be unhappy but keep him safe? I took a deep breath and hit reply.

Okay. Let's do it.

Shit, what have I gotten myself into?