Rudy Can't Fail
"Elephant Juice!" Again?...
I had got to the Doctors office and just stood out front looking at the building. I didn’t go in. The massive structure, was painted all nice and friendly colours on the out, but inside, the stark white walls held peoples fates in the bricks and mortar.
I'd never liked Doctors offices or hospitals; the whole death and sadness thing freaked me out. But then again, life was given there too. But just…eww. And the seriousness in Dr Broderick's voice the other day was still ringing in my ears.
Neurology…MRI…
Visions of CT scans and the idea of wearing that gown thing that does up at the back, so my ass would be on display, wasn't pleasant. I bottled it. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but the Advil and all that shit would have to do.
So I went and had a coffee or 3, walked around the neighbourhood and doodled some stuff on napkins. Just biding my time until Tre came to pick me up. I hadn’t told him about the headaches. I didn’t see much point. I mean; it's not like they were life threatening, right? Nah, nothing to worry about. The dizzy spells and the pain in the eyes- I probrably need glasses and just tired. Simple, really. But I did look as rough as abear's arse; bags under my eyes and I think I’m losing a bit of weight. I don’t think Tre has noticed, though.
But there was something grating on him too. Like the Sunday I was at his house and I heard him and Mike, he'd gone quiet after they left. And when he called from Vegas, he wanted to talk but something always got in the way so he didn't get to say anything.
Things were going good with Tre and me. I loved him; he didn’t know that yet but I had decided to tell him.
I dunno what is about him. He just made me feel things I never thought I would. Like there were times when I wanted to kick his arse...sure. But then he'd just have to look at me with those eyes or act like a complete fool to make me laugh and I would melt. He does this thing when we're having sex where…
Yeah. He's special.
Anyway, so I'm smoking outside the Doctor's and I see Tre's tank of a car pull up. His orange hair's as high as Everest and a shit-eating grin on his face, slightly obscured by Billie Joe's mop of thick black curls and amused look.
The car ride home was eventful. Billie and Tre were dicking around, but all I could think about was the appointment I had missed. I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do. But I didn’t wanna go through all that mess cos of a few migraines. People get them all the time. I was worrying about nothing.
***
"I LOVE YOU!"
Tre turns the wheel so fast I have to grip the dashboard. I mean, he was kidding right? He didn’t just say that! I didn’t just say that! No way… Shit…
"Oh you guys!" Billie leans forwards so I can't see Tre.
"BILLIE!" Tre and I shout together. We're both still a little surprised.
"You said you love me!" Tre looks at me with this weird smile on his face. A look that just makes me want to slap him for being…well…himself.
All of a sudden, I'm feeling a bit hot "I didn’t" would somebody crack a window or something? It's like 100 degrees in here. "I said 'elephant juice' " Yeah, nice work Nat. Now look out the window. Idiot.
Bill's laughter is just ringing in my ears, but I'm trying to grasp what was just said. I wanted to tell him, but not like this.
"No… you said it. You can't take it back!" He's confused, bless him.
"Well you said it first." That'll show him. If I raise one eyebrow and purse my lips, he knows that if he carries on I'll kill him slowly.
"No, you did!" I just stare at him. He's right afterall. I mean; I said it, so I really can't take it back.
"Well technically, like, since both of you said it at the same time, you both said it first. But as a spectator, turned judge, you know, I would say that Nat, you were first by like, a nanosecond."
Oh.
I had forgotten Billie was there, the sly fucker. God… I could have got away with it too.
"Well that blows." I pout and look at Tre, who smiles, a real smug smile. I hate that.
"How about we go home and you can 'blow' me there?" He whispers. I just smile back and turn to the scenery of the roadside. The only thing I would be blowing later, was bubbles in my chewing gum.
With the drama over and Billie and Tre bickering again, we head back home. The radio's on and Tre's quiet. I'm just sat there thinking about our exchange of words. It was out there now and we had a witness.
Fuck me! I'd never of thought that just a little over a month ago, I'd have hooked up with Tre Cool, met his family and his friends and be professing my love to him? This is what fan-fic stories are made of; and I've read a quite a few. Though I'm gonna ask him about the slash ones…I need to know.
****
So Nat and I we're in love. We had said it and we had gone back to my place after taking the problem child home.
She had tried to refuse me having my wicked way with her. But I got round it; cos I'm Cool like that. This time, it wasn’t like raw animal sex, it was softer, gentle. We looked into eachother's eyes and held hands and said we loved eachother again; the way we should have done it. I hadn’t had anything like this in a while and it made me happy.
I wanted to do something special though. So I thought about taking her away maybe.
We were lying in my bed and she had her back to me while I traced the tattoo on the base of her neck with my fingers.
"Babe…"
"What? Twice not enough?" She smiles, pulling the comforter over her head and batting my hand away.
"Actually no, twice with you is never enough. But it's not that…I was thinking…"
"You know how dangerous that is for you, right? Seriously, bad things happen when you do that." I watch her shoulders rise and fall as she laughs silently.
"Anyway." I press on, turning to lay flat on my back, "I was thinking maybe we could go away. Like, the two of us…or take Frankie. Just for a couple of days…not far or anything…maybe go see my folks in Mendocino…or go to Vegas…or New York; you could meet Ramona…actually she‘s due out here soon…"
She's not so sleepy and sits upright looking down at me. "Ok, stop rambling…wait…you want me to meet your parents? Uh…No. That’s not gonna work; I don’t meet parents. They usually don’t like me. I'm scared of old people and your Dad looks like Santa. I saw 'Bad Santa', Tre… And he's your Dad. That’s like…you…b-but older…yea-no, I'm not doing that. And Ramona? I am not ready to meet a pre-teen... e-especially one who’s a relation of yours just yet." She's nervous "No offence."
I laugh at her and she just stares back with her mouth open.
"Shut up. You met Frankito and I figured since we're serious… you'll have to meet Ramona at some point; she spends her holidays with me and my parents know all about you. I want you to meet them."
"And I want Gerard Way laying here instead of you, but we don’t always get what we want, do we?" She's so sarcastic; I just wanna throw her over my knee and spank her more than ample ass..
"That hurts!" I cry in mock protest.
"Shut the hell up, Fatboy." She slides back under the comforter and turns her head to face me, "OK, we'll go away and I’ll meet everyone soon. I promise. Just as long as you take me to meet Gerard, too. I bet he could give you a run for your money...and no ties there either!"
"What?! Fuck no!" I roll over so Im on top of her. "I bet he wouldn’t show you this!"
I'd never liked Doctors offices or hospitals; the whole death and sadness thing freaked me out. But then again, life was given there too. But just…eww. And the seriousness in Dr Broderick's voice the other day was still ringing in my ears.
Neurology…MRI…
Visions of CT scans and the idea of wearing that gown thing that does up at the back, so my ass would be on display, wasn't pleasant. I bottled it. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but the Advil and all that shit would have to do.
So I went and had a coffee or 3, walked around the neighbourhood and doodled some stuff on napkins. Just biding my time until Tre came to pick me up. I hadn’t told him about the headaches. I didn’t see much point. I mean; it's not like they were life threatening, right? Nah, nothing to worry about. The dizzy spells and the pain in the eyes- I probrably need glasses and just tired. Simple, really. But I did look as rough as abear's arse; bags under my eyes and I think I’m losing a bit of weight. I don’t think Tre has noticed, though.
But there was something grating on him too. Like the Sunday I was at his house and I heard him and Mike, he'd gone quiet after they left. And when he called from Vegas, he wanted to talk but something always got in the way so he didn't get to say anything.
Things were going good with Tre and me. I loved him; he didn’t know that yet but I had decided to tell him.
I dunno what is about him. He just made me feel things I never thought I would. Like there were times when I wanted to kick his arse...sure. But then he'd just have to look at me with those eyes or act like a complete fool to make me laugh and I would melt. He does this thing when we're having sex where…
Yeah. He's special.
Anyway, so I'm smoking outside the Doctor's and I see Tre's tank of a car pull up. His orange hair's as high as Everest and a shit-eating grin on his face, slightly obscured by Billie Joe's mop of thick black curls and amused look.
The car ride home was eventful. Billie and Tre were dicking around, but all I could think about was the appointment I had missed. I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do. But I didn’t wanna go through all that mess cos of a few migraines. People get them all the time. I was worrying about nothing.
***
"I LOVE YOU!"
Tre turns the wheel so fast I have to grip the dashboard. I mean, he was kidding right? He didn’t just say that! I didn’t just say that! No way… Shit…
"Oh you guys!" Billie leans forwards so I can't see Tre.
"BILLIE!" Tre and I shout together. We're both still a little surprised.
"You said you love me!" Tre looks at me with this weird smile on his face. A look that just makes me want to slap him for being…well…himself.
All of a sudden, I'm feeling a bit hot "I didn’t" would somebody crack a window or something? It's like 100 degrees in here. "I said 'elephant juice' " Yeah, nice work Nat. Now look out the window. Idiot.
Bill's laughter is just ringing in my ears, but I'm trying to grasp what was just said. I wanted to tell him, but not like this.
"No… you said it. You can't take it back!" He's confused, bless him.
"Well you said it first." That'll show him. If I raise one eyebrow and purse my lips, he knows that if he carries on I'll kill him slowly.
"No, you did!" I just stare at him. He's right afterall. I mean; I said it, so I really can't take it back.
"Well technically, like, since both of you said it at the same time, you both said it first. But as a spectator, turned judge, you know, I would say that Nat, you were first by like, a nanosecond."
Oh.
I had forgotten Billie was there, the sly fucker. God… I could have got away with it too.
"Well that blows." I pout and look at Tre, who smiles, a real smug smile. I hate that.
"How about we go home and you can 'blow' me there?" He whispers. I just smile back and turn to the scenery of the roadside. The only thing I would be blowing later, was bubbles in my chewing gum.
With the drama over and Billie and Tre bickering again, we head back home. The radio's on and Tre's quiet. I'm just sat there thinking about our exchange of words. It was out there now and we had a witness.
Fuck me! I'd never of thought that just a little over a month ago, I'd have hooked up with Tre Cool, met his family and his friends and be professing my love to him? This is what fan-fic stories are made of; and I've read a quite a few. Though I'm gonna ask him about the slash ones…I need to know.
****
So Nat and I we're in love. We had said it and we had gone back to my place after taking the problem child home.
She had tried to refuse me having my wicked way with her. But I got round it; cos I'm Cool like that. This time, it wasn’t like raw animal sex, it was softer, gentle. We looked into eachother's eyes and held hands and said we loved eachother again; the way we should have done it. I hadn’t had anything like this in a while and it made me happy.
I wanted to do something special though. So I thought about taking her away maybe.
We were lying in my bed and she had her back to me while I traced the tattoo on the base of her neck with my fingers.
"Babe…"
"What? Twice not enough?" She smiles, pulling the comforter over her head and batting my hand away.
"Actually no, twice with you is never enough. But it's not that…I was thinking…"
"You know how dangerous that is for you, right? Seriously, bad things happen when you do that." I watch her shoulders rise and fall as she laughs silently.
"Anyway." I press on, turning to lay flat on my back, "I was thinking maybe we could go away. Like, the two of us…or take Frankie. Just for a couple of days…not far or anything…maybe go see my folks in Mendocino…or go to Vegas…or New York; you could meet Ramona…actually she‘s due out here soon…"
She's not so sleepy and sits upright looking down at me. "Ok, stop rambling…wait…you want me to meet your parents? Uh…No. That’s not gonna work; I don’t meet parents. They usually don’t like me. I'm scared of old people and your Dad looks like Santa. I saw 'Bad Santa', Tre… And he's your Dad. That’s like…you…b-but older…yea-no, I'm not doing that. And Ramona? I am not ready to meet a pre-teen... e-especially one who’s a relation of yours just yet." She's nervous "No offence."
I laugh at her and she just stares back with her mouth open.
"Shut up. You met Frankito and I figured since we're serious… you'll have to meet Ramona at some point; she spends her holidays with me and my parents know all about you. I want you to meet them."
"And I want Gerard Way laying here instead of you, but we don’t always get what we want, do we?" She's so sarcastic; I just wanna throw her over my knee and spank her more than ample ass..
"That hurts!" I cry in mock protest.
"Shut the hell up, Fatboy." She slides back under the comforter and turns her head to face me, "OK, we'll go away and I’ll meet everyone soon. I promise. Just as long as you take me to meet Gerard, too. I bet he could give you a run for your money...and no ties there either!"
"What?! Fuck no!" I roll over so Im on top of her. "I bet he wouldn’t show you this!"