Rudy Can't Fail
'Meet the Green Day Family?'
“Nat?”
“Hmm?” She sighs into the pillow, snuggling deeper into it.
“I want you to meet my friends. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks now, and I still don’t know much about you, though you know about me.” I say seriously, propping my head up on my arm.
She opens one eye and looks at me. “Whatever.” Then she turns over. “Now let me sleep. You tired me out today, man.”
“But I wanna talk.” I pout.
We were in her apartment again, after a loud night in.
We had been seeing eachother for a couple of weeks but I still had know idea what was going on. I mean, we had fun…But I didn’t know where this was going or whether we were serious.
“Fine.” With an exasperated sigh, she pulls herself up and rests against the headboard. She pushes her fringe behind her ear and faces me. “Talk”.
“Well, why did you pick California? What about your family?” I ask curiously. She had never mentioned her family or her life back in England and I wanted to know.
“I picked it because that’s where the dart hit the map.”
“Huh? A dart?” I’m confused.
“Yes, a dart. I decided to leave London, but I didn’t know where to go. So one day I bought a map and threw a dart in it. Now I’m here.”
Well that was random…
“Random, I know.” She looks into my eyes and its like she knew what I was thinking. How creepy!
“And your family?” I lay my head on her lap and she instantly plays with the hairs at the base of my neck. I notice that her thigh is visible from beneath the sheets and I began to draw circles on it with my thumb.
“Well, My dad left my mum, sister and me, when I was 10 months old and moved to New York. Never heard from him again. When I was 8 and my sister was 16, Mum died. Then my sister and I went into care. As soon as my sister hit 18, she left me and I haven’t seen her since. I got put in a foster home with Bob and June Carrigan, who were awesome. But I started to act out and they couldn’t handle it, though they did their best. At 16, I ran…you could say I was a little rebellious. I got caught up in some stuff then I grew up a bit. I wanted to get straight, so I got a boring job and started studying tattooing and piercing on the side, though I was always drawing and writing shit from when I was young. Eventually, I felt like being someplace else…and you know the rest.”
She made it seem so ordinary, like it was just another boring detail. Now I understood why she had so much attitude…She‘d always had it tough and was just looking after herself.
“The painting?” I gesture to the mural on the wall…There was so much I wanted to know, but Nat was a jigsaw I would have to piece together slowly.
“Reminds me of home and what I left behind.” She stares at it and for a brief second, sadness flashing across her face.
I sit up and kiss her hard on the mouth. When I pulled away, she looked stunned.
“What was that for?” Her eyebrow was raised and a small smile rounded her full lips.
“Because you deserve it.” I say, pulling her into a hug. “Don’t you ever think about finding your Dad or your sister?”
“Fuck no. They left me, so why would I bother? In this world, Mr Cool, you cant rely on anybody but yourself.” She was pretty matter of fact about all this.
I had wanted to tell her what I thought from the first night we spent together- I was in love with her, but now I couldn’t. Not after her admission, anyway.
“You know, your not doing the whole ‘Rockstar’ thing well.” She says sarcastically. “If your fans could see you now…acting all cute and shit, in your Batman underpants…real cool.” Her body shakes with laughter in my arms. “Far from the ridiculously insane yet kick ass drummer they know and love.”
“Well I’m having an off day and you seem to like this side to me…well that’s the impression I got last night, anyways!” I let her go and push her gently.
“Hey, hey! I was doped up and Haagen Daz. I cannot be held responsible for my actions.” She shrugs.
I’m amazed at her. I mean she tells me all this hard hitting stuff, yet we brushed it aside; like she had just told me her grocery list. What is that?
“Uh huh, whatever.” I roll my eyes. “So…meeting the guys…you wanna?”
She stares at me open mouthed before answering "You serious?"
"As a heart attack." And I was; I think we were at that point, so why not? And the guys have been on my case about Nat for a minute.
“Then yes." She shrugs, "I figure I should, since I want to know if you’re as much of a pain in their arse, as you are in mine.” Standing up, she draws the sheet around her almost naked form and walks into the ‘Shitter‘, leaving me in just my Batman pants to keep away the chill.
***
I lock the door behind me- to give me a few minutes to gather my thoughts. What the hell is he bloody playing at? I mean, I hadn’t expected him to be around this long, much less wanting to know shit about me, let alone meet his fucking band!
Breathe Nat! 1. . .2. . .3. . .
I’m hyperventilating because I’m over-analysing. Force of habit. Something scares me and I freak out inwardly.
My head starts to ache and I open the cabinet to get my meds. They always came so unexpectedly these days, like when I felt a bit tense. Like I needed a fucking migraine right now. I take the pills and swallow them, without drinking any water. They were a bit more frequent than usual, but I didn’t think much about it, just putting it down to being over worked and not getting enough rest. With Tre around, it hardly left anytime for relaxation.
What am I going to do? I like him, I really do. More than I thought I would. I didn’t want this though- I just wanted a bit of fun. I assumed he would get what he wanted and fuck off, like they all did. But its been two weeks of non-stop sex…and fun…and chats…and outings…and… everything really.
I turn on the shower and sit on the edge of the bath. Maybe I did want this. I liked him; I knew that.
Tried to tell myself that I didn’t, but apparently it was obvious. Max and Yoshie had said it and I had told them to stop talking about it, or I’d wait till they fell asleep to punch them in the face. They did as I asked grudgingly; but could they see something that I didn’t want to?
This was Tre bloody Cool, drummer for one of the most famous bands in the world and he was just through there, laying in my bed.
Jumping in under the water, I tried to switch my brain off and get clean. Relaxing a bit, I burst into the first song that come into my mind, forgetting about my guest.
“Caught in a moment
And I wont let it go..
I am falling deep
And losing my control”
When I was done showering, I looked in the mirror and wiped off the condensation. Staring at my reflection, I took a breath, and said what I had been thinking about non stop since the first night we spent together.
“I think I love him.” I said it out loud. And that’s where it stayed, hanging like a cloud over my head; stagnant and unforgiving. I loved him and I didn’t know what to do about it.
***
[Song: ‘Caught In A Moment’ By Sugababes]
“Hmm?” She sighs into the pillow, snuggling deeper into it.
“I want you to meet my friends. We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of weeks now, and I still don’t know much about you, though you know about me.” I say seriously, propping my head up on my arm.
She opens one eye and looks at me. “Whatever.” Then she turns over. “Now let me sleep. You tired me out today, man.”
“But I wanna talk.” I pout.
We were in her apartment again, after a loud night in.
We had been seeing eachother for a couple of weeks but I still had know idea what was going on. I mean, we had fun…But I didn’t know where this was going or whether we were serious.
“Fine.” With an exasperated sigh, she pulls herself up and rests against the headboard. She pushes her fringe behind her ear and faces me. “Talk”.
“Well, why did you pick California? What about your family?” I ask curiously. She had never mentioned her family or her life back in England and I wanted to know.
“I picked it because that’s where the dart hit the map.”
“Huh? A dart?” I’m confused.
“Yes, a dart. I decided to leave London, but I didn’t know where to go. So one day I bought a map and threw a dart in it. Now I’m here.”
Well that was random…
“Random, I know.” She looks into my eyes and its like she knew what I was thinking. How creepy!
“And your family?” I lay my head on her lap and she instantly plays with the hairs at the base of my neck. I notice that her thigh is visible from beneath the sheets and I began to draw circles on it with my thumb.
“Well, My dad left my mum, sister and me, when I was 10 months old and moved to New York. Never heard from him again. When I was 8 and my sister was 16, Mum died. Then my sister and I went into care. As soon as my sister hit 18, she left me and I haven’t seen her since. I got put in a foster home with Bob and June Carrigan, who were awesome. But I started to act out and they couldn’t handle it, though they did their best. At 16, I ran…you could say I was a little rebellious. I got caught up in some stuff then I grew up a bit. I wanted to get straight, so I got a boring job and started studying tattooing and piercing on the side, though I was always drawing and writing shit from when I was young. Eventually, I felt like being someplace else…and you know the rest.”
She made it seem so ordinary, like it was just another boring detail. Now I understood why she had so much attitude…She‘d always had it tough and was just looking after herself.
“The painting?” I gesture to the mural on the wall…There was so much I wanted to know, but Nat was a jigsaw I would have to piece together slowly.
“Reminds me of home and what I left behind.” She stares at it and for a brief second, sadness flashing across her face.
I sit up and kiss her hard on the mouth. When I pulled away, she looked stunned.
“What was that for?” Her eyebrow was raised and a small smile rounded her full lips.
“Because you deserve it.” I say, pulling her into a hug. “Don’t you ever think about finding your Dad or your sister?”
“Fuck no. They left me, so why would I bother? In this world, Mr Cool, you cant rely on anybody but yourself.” She was pretty matter of fact about all this.
I had wanted to tell her what I thought from the first night we spent together- I was in love with her, but now I couldn’t. Not after her admission, anyway.
“You know, your not doing the whole ‘Rockstar’ thing well.” She says sarcastically. “If your fans could see you now…acting all cute and shit, in your Batman underpants…real cool.” Her body shakes with laughter in my arms. “Far from the ridiculously insane yet kick ass drummer they know and love.”
“Well I’m having an off day and you seem to like this side to me…well that’s the impression I got last night, anyways!” I let her go and push her gently.
“Hey, hey! I was doped up and Haagen Daz. I cannot be held responsible for my actions.” She shrugs.
I’m amazed at her. I mean she tells me all this hard hitting stuff, yet we brushed it aside; like she had just told me her grocery list. What is that?
“Uh huh, whatever.” I roll my eyes. “So…meeting the guys…you wanna?”
She stares at me open mouthed before answering "You serious?"
"As a heart attack." And I was; I think we were at that point, so why not? And the guys have been on my case about Nat for a minute.
“Then yes." She shrugs, "I figure I should, since I want to know if you’re as much of a pain in their arse, as you are in mine.” Standing up, she draws the sheet around her almost naked form and walks into the ‘Shitter‘, leaving me in just my Batman pants to keep away the chill.
***
I lock the door behind me- to give me a few minutes to gather my thoughts. What the hell is he bloody playing at? I mean, I hadn’t expected him to be around this long, much less wanting to know shit about me, let alone meet his fucking band!
Breathe Nat! 1. . .2. . .3. . .
I’m hyperventilating because I’m over-analysing. Force of habit. Something scares me and I freak out inwardly.
My head starts to ache and I open the cabinet to get my meds. They always came so unexpectedly these days, like when I felt a bit tense. Like I needed a fucking migraine right now. I take the pills and swallow them, without drinking any water. They were a bit more frequent than usual, but I didn’t think much about it, just putting it down to being over worked and not getting enough rest. With Tre around, it hardly left anytime for relaxation.
What am I going to do? I like him, I really do. More than I thought I would. I didn’t want this though- I just wanted a bit of fun. I assumed he would get what he wanted and fuck off, like they all did. But its been two weeks of non-stop sex…and fun…and chats…and outings…and… everything really.
I turn on the shower and sit on the edge of the bath. Maybe I did want this. I liked him; I knew that.
Tried to tell myself that I didn’t, but apparently it was obvious. Max and Yoshie had said it and I had told them to stop talking about it, or I’d wait till they fell asleep to punch them in the face. They did as I asked grudgingly; but could they see something that I didn’t want to?
This was Tre bloody Cool, drummer for one of the most famous bands in the world and he was just through there, laying in my bed.
Jumping in under the water, I tried to switch my brain off and get clean. Relaxing a bit, I burst into the first song that come into my mind, forgetting about my guest.
“Caught in a moment
And I wont let it go..
I am falling deep
And losing my control”
When I was done showering, I looked in the mirror and wiped off the condensation. Staring at my reflection, I took a breath, and said what I had been thinking about non stop since the first night we spent together.
“I think I love him.” I said it out loud. And that’s where it stayed, hanging like a cloud over my head; stagnant and unforgiving. I loved him and I didn’t know what to do about it.
***
[Song: ‘Caught In A Moment’ By Sugababes]