Tidbits of Life.
Secret Breathing
My name is June and I am happy.
Maybe it's because I had a...different childhood. It must be because my mother locked me in the hall closet for hours. Maybe.
Maybe, just maybe, it's because at age 13 I was beaten and raped by a neighbor who was seemingly polite. It could be because I carried his baby to term and kept her.
Lots of people ask me dully, "How are you grinning? How are you happy?" I flip the pencil over and erase the smile off my face. Right. I'm not allowed to be happy.
At home, I confuse myself with lies and incisions. But I grin as much as I want beause I feel the light within me. I really do. Even as the baby cries, even as mother charges through the front door.
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I'm secretly breathing happiness in and out, filtering it in my lungs. I'm not allowed, though. Not allowed to be happy.
Yours,
June
Maybe it's because I had a...different childhood. It must be because my mother locked me in the hall closet for hours. Maybe.
Maybe, just maybe, it's because at age 13 I was beaten and raped by a neighbor who was seemingly polite. It could be because I carried his baby to term and kept her.
Lots of people ask me dully, "How are you grinning? How are you happy?" I flip the pencil over and erase the smile off my face. Right. I'm not allowed to be happy.
At home, I confuse myself with lies and incisions. But I grin as much as I want beause I feel the light within me. I really do. Even as the baby cries, even as mother charges through the front door.
********************************************************************************************************
I'm secretly breathing happiness in and out, filtering it in my lungs. I'm not allowed, though. Not allowed to be happy.
Yours,
June