Hell on high heels

I had to think about what I was going to tell Dae. Being the organiser of Warped made me think I should be diplomatic and tell her some white lie about me pissing him off and deserving it, because otherwise there would be tension between them and no doubt Avenged would end up pulling out of the tour, which as the organiser I obviously didn't want. Then again, being Matt's ex-girlfriend and Dae's friend made me think I should just tell her what had actually happened, even if it made her mad at him. She deserved to know, didn't she? I tried not to fiddle with the tape on my nose as I weighed up my options.

Zacky took the silence as a way to opt out of the girly conversation he probably thought was going to ensue about how much of a bastard his band-mate was, and kissed the top of my head and ruffled Dae's hair as he excused himself and headed back to his bunk. I linked my hands together and offered Dae a swift, meagre smile.

“It's a long story.” I told her slowly, “And I don't know whether you would want to know the truth.”

“I want to know, even if it makes me hate him.” She nodded, stoic expression firmly in place.

“Alright,” I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. Admitting this had actually happened was gonna suck. “I was working, Matt took Tommie and put him to bed and everything, then he came back and we had the conversation we needed to have, you know. I needed a drink to chill out so we got drinking together and moved through here, and I fell asleep on him. Next thing I know he's grabbing me and shouting about how I cheated on him, and I'm yelling at him to shut the fuck up, trying not to freak out. Then he punched me.”

I paused, taking in her shocked but tight-lipped expression; she looked as though she was longing to interrupt but was waiting for me to finish.

“I don't know what started him off.” I admitted, pushing a hand through my hair awkwardly and trying not to shiver as I recalled the look in his eyes when he'd glared at me.

She paused, looking as calm as could be. If I hadn't known her a long time I wouldn't have known she was angry, or noticed the tiny furrows in her brow. “This isn't the first time, though.” It was a statement, not a question.

“No.” I frowned, “That's why I left.”

“When did it start? Why didn't you tell anyone?”

“A couple of months after we moved in together, after City of Evil came out. He's always been possessive but he partied pretty hard back then and I think it made him paranoid, he came back one day and started throwing shit around and smashing bottles accusing me of sleeping with Brian. The amount of times he got drunk, came back and did that shit, he accused me of sleeping with every guy in the band, of trying to make the band break up, and trying to get with him for his money. He started hitting me the second or third time, and it got worse as time went on.” I smiled weakly, “I was too proud to tell anyone. I just packed my shit up and left as soon as he went out one night. I'm sorry for running out on you guys, really I am, I just…I'm not here to be his punchbag and I'm not here to take his shit, I thought it would be better to leave.”

I hadn't realised she was staring at me with an expression of shock on her face until she leaned forward and pulled me into a tight hug, “I'm so sorry, Sio. I never realised. I'll kick his ass to fucking China and back for you.”

“Thanks.” I mumbled with a chuckle as I hugged her back, squeezing gently. “I'm sorry I've been such a dick to you and Tommie, too. I'm kind of a bitter bitch these days. I don't mean anything by it.”

She laughed, “It's alright, I get it now.” Her expression was cleared slightly as she pulled back from the hug, “Think we can start this friendship again, now that's cleared up?”

“Of course.” I smiled, grinning when she rubbed her eyes. She was probably tired, and who could blame her? “Get some rest, Dae, you're gonna get woken up by your lovely bundle of joy in a couple of hours anyway.”

“Good idea.” She rose to her feet and smiled at me, squeezing my shoulder, “I'll see you tomorrow, Sio.”

I nodded, and settled back on the sofa as I listened to her go through to the bunks. Johnny's voice broke the silence, and even though it felt like I was invading their privacy I couldn't help but hear their low conversation, as well as the rustle as he pulled her into the bunk with him and a noise that sounded suspiciously like smooching before they settled and the bus was silent. I was glad Johnny was around for her, he was a good guy and even better at acting daddy for Tommie whenever he was with the kid; I'd be genuinely happy for them if Dae decided to date him.

Sure that everyone was asleep, I crept through the bus and grabbed my laptop from the coffee table, tucking it under my arm before I climbed down the steps and headed across the grass towards where my own bus stood. People were still out and about even at this hour, and I got some damn funny looks from a few of them for the tape across my nose and the blood covering my shirt. I ignored them, and when I crawled into my bunk I fell asleep within minutes.

---

The next day was a day off, thank God, and I spent it putting myself back together as best as I could. It was sunny and boiling hot out, my personal perfect day, so after I'd cleaned myself up I did what every irresponsible organiser would do: sunbathed. I was half asleep, sunglasses and bikini on, hands behind my head, when someone decided to go and stand right in my sunlight.

“Good morning, sunshine.” the person in front of me announced in a sing-song voice, and my annoyance melted away instantaneously in recognition.

“Morning, Frankie.” I beamed, opening my eyes to look up at him and sitting up. He was wearing his t-shirt inside out again, something which had always amused me, and giving me the brightest grin in the world. What a fucking sweetheart. I'd be the first to admit that while Matt was the one I had loved for a long time (not to mention, for no good reason), good old Frank Iero would always own a huge piece of my heart.

“I heard about last night.” He moved out of the sunlight and sat down behind me, letting me lean against his chest as he wound an arm around my waist casually.

“Thought you might have. Gossip travels fast.” I nodded, watching people go by in groups, chattering and laughing. It was nice.

“Your nose looks fine. Think of it as DIY plastic surgery.” He commented lightly, fiddling with my hair, “Ooooh, and did you dye your hair? Have you lost weight?”

I laughed at his humour, elbowing him in the ribs, “You're such a girl, Iero.”

“Seriously did you? Because it looks like nought-point-two percent darker than usual. I notice these things.” He deadpanned, before letting his face crease into a shit-eating grin. His nimble fingers stole the sunglasses from my face and stuck them onto his own. “You love it really.”

“Sure.” I chuckled, squinting at the sunlight now he'd taken my sunglasses, “Anyway, I heard some shit went down between Gee and Dae the other night?” Rumour spread like wildfire between bands on this tour, I could have sworn they were like a bunch of gossiping fourteen year old girls - I'd heard it from NOFX and they hadn't even been at the party.

“Oh, yeah.” I saw him grin out of the corner of my eye, “Turns out he kissed her and she wasn't too happy about it, then Vengeance and Rev got involved and told him where to shove it, then Johnny boy took her back to the bus. Something going on between them I should know about?”

“Fuck knows,” I mumbled, “I don't think they even know right now.”

“Oh, well.” I swear I saw him smirk a little, “I'm sure they'll work it out somehow.”

“Just as long as Mr Sassy-Pants Way keeps out of it, huh?”

I ended up going back to the bus with Frank and hanging out with the My Chemical Romance boys for the rest of the day, joking around like we'd always done. I felt almost bad for not seeing anyone off the Avenged bus during that time, but I really felt the need to separate myself from the drama that seemed to happen when I was with them, so I just stuck with the My Chem boys. Even Matt walking past the bus a couple of times earned no reaction from me; giving him the cold shoulder and silent treatment was far easier on me than accepting any apologies he might throw at me - though it seemed like he wasn't planning on apologising anyway, and I wondered briefly whether he'd had another overnight memory-wipe or genuinely did think his Hulkout problem was my fault. Then I decided I didn't care. I didn't want to talk to him.

I was sitting around a makeshift campfire with Frank and Ray a couple of days later after a successful run of shows the next time I saw Johnny Christ, and boy, did I see Johnny Christ. We had all thought his days of Cowboy Christ and pissing on Papa Gates were over, but we were all wrong - because at eleven in the evening, while Frank, Ray and I were sitting around the `campfire' trying to toast marshmallows, Johnny stumbled his way over to us wearing only his Stetson hat and cowboy boots, grinning like an idiot.

“Heeey Sio,” he slurred, slumping into the camping chair next to mine. “How's it going?”

“How much did you drink, Johnny?” I asked, as Frank and Ray exploded into laughter. It was pretty difficult to keep my eyes from wandering, though naked Johnny wasn't something I hadn't seen before.

“Lost count.” He grinned cheerily, looping an arm around my shoulders and leaning in to whisper conspiringly, “A lot.”

“I never would have guessed.” I laughed, ignoring his invasion of my personal space. I shrugged his arm off lightly, then leaned over and gave Frankie puppy eyes until he folded and gave me a cigarette, and I dragged on it with a content grin. “You having a party of one, Johnny boy?”

“It's the only way I can ignore the looks Matt's been giving me,” he giggled, “dude, I mean, the way he's looking at me, you'd think I'd boned his sister or something.”

I laughed, “Doesn't he think that's exactly what you did?”

“Yeah, but he's wrong.” He asserted, “And anyway, I mean, he's not mad at Jimmy and Jimmy dated her behind his back for ages. And she's not the virgin fuckin' Mary. He should stop being so protective.”

I shrugged, breathing out the smoke slowly as Frank butted in from beside me, “If she decided to date you it's not like he'd have a say in it anyway, man.”

Johnny seemed to brighten slightly, “Ohh, that's true…” he cocked his head, probably contemplating this; it took him all of five seconds to look deflated again. “But we're not dating.”

“No,” I snorted, “but that's only cos you're too pussy to ask.”

“I'm not a pussy!” he cried, offended, “We're just taking it easy!”

“Yeah, right,” I grinned cheekily, “I've seen you two going round holding hands and kissing when you think no-one's looking and you still don't have the balls to ask her to be your girl.”

“Fuck you!” Johnny stumbled to his feet, stealing the marshmallow I'd been burning for the last five minutes, “Fuck all of you, I'm going to go ask her right now!”

Without another word or a glance back, he stormed away back to the Avenged bus amidst the sound of laughter from the three of us still seated around the makeshift fire.

Frank shifted closer and wound an arm around my shoulders calmly, and I couldn't help but shiver when he rested his lips next to my ear, “You can't help but stir shit, can you?”

Nope, it was just the way I was wired. Settling back in our front-row seats for the show, we sat and watched the Avenged bus patiently to see what exactly Johnny was going to do.