Love Letters to Write Before I Die

‘Dear Nate,

I am not surprised that you’re that kind of person – someone who gives up easily. But this is your life we are talking about. LIFE. Something that’s magical and precious and you want to what? Give up? Just because you have what? An illness?

I want to help you!

How am I supposed to help you when you don’t even want to help yourself?’

“I haven’t seen you in a while, Nathan,” Katie Johnson said. When he heard her voice, he instantly crumpled the letter back in his fist, something that he has done for so many times that the black handwriting got smudged and a part of the paper ripped slightly.

“Traveling,” he lied. “I was traveling.”

And for the first time, the bell was on his side. When he bade a rushed goodbye to his friend, his mind worked like an overworked engine, ready to implode in his mind. Damn that Haley Dumont, he thought bitterly as he entered his class.

He was so sure that she was the one who wrote all of those letters to him, even if it was improbable, even if there were differences between them. The Haley who wrote the letter was being too persistent. She didn’t even know him. What right did she have to lecture him?

Nathan hated people who saw the world as if it was made of cotton candy and sugar canes. He couldn’t tolerate people who were blatantly optimistic. He hated them. He wanted them to wake up and see the world in its’ true colors. How pathetic everything was. How could there be hope in a bleeding world?

He remembered how Haley reacted to his statement that night.

“I hate her,” he said that night and then he looked at her for a while, trying to find any clues. His eyes almost pleading her to give him any sort of reaction. But she just gave him a look and chuckled a little bit.

“That is a harsh word,” she said. “What did she do to make you hate her?”

“Nothing much. Except for the fact that she’s disgustingly optimistic and judgmental.”

Still not much of a reaction.

“That’s too bad,” she told him, shrugging.

Nathan sat in class, tapping his pen against the table lightly.

Then, who was the Haley who wrote the letter?

----------

After Nathan dropped her off to her house after dinner, she closed the door to her bedroom and she was engulfed in the darkness of the night with only the moonlight to guide her around her own room. She didn’t bother to turn on the lights.

She didn’t feel sad or upset or even angry.

Her back hit the door as she slid down to the floor, sitting there clutching her knees.

Nathan hated her.

Or at least, the bold person who wrote those letters to him.

She should’ve listened to Dan. She should’ve at least told Nathan the truth but she couldn’t. It was hard, considering the fact that she valued their new friendship and the fact that he hated her.