Love Letters to Write Before I Die

‘Haley,

I’m trying.

Yours sincerely,
Nate.’

Dan and Aisha tried to convince Haley, saying it was ridiculous of her to think up of such outrageous theories and she had nothing to worry about. But Haley was embarrassed to tell them the real story, the minute by minute version. She just said that she saw him with another woman and thought that maybe her father was involved in an affair.

It was nearing 10 p.m. and she didn’t have the mood to tuck herself in for the night and sleep. She turned on her table lamp, the only source of light in the middle of the dark room. She was finishing up the last equation for her algebra homework that was due the next day.

In the middle of slowly writing out 6x on the paper, damp circles appear near the equation, smearing the ink slightly. She turned away, wiping her tears vigorously away but they just wouldn’t stop. She didn’t want to hate her dad. Her dad was kind and caring. He was the one who taught her to always have hope and be kind to others. Her mother was always too busy to pay much attention to her but she knew that she didn’t deserve this.

She felt distraught when the image played itself again in her head, uninvited. The image was like an intruder, sneaking its’ way into her mind. Just like that woman – uninvited, an intruder.

When she was walking with Nathan back to the party, right before the elevator closed, she could’ve swore on her life that she saw some woman pushing her dad to the wall of the elevator, and his hand went to touch her gently on her cheeks before pulling her closer. Then the doors closed. She couldn’t see what happened next.

She kept wiping away the tears and did the equation quickly. She didn’t care if it was correct or wrong, she just wanted to hide under the covers and wished everything was a bad dream. And so she did. She got up from her creaky seat and reached towards the switch for the lights, but suddenly a sudden, loud ringing echoed around the room from her phone she placed on the desk.

“Haley?”

“Hey,” she answered, switching the lights off and going over to her bed.

“You told me you usually go to bed early on school nights. I’m sorry if I woke you up from your sleep or anything.”

She slid under the covers, pulling it over her head.

“It’s okay. Is everything alright? You hate calling people.”

Nathan chuckled. “I was worried about you.”

“That’s nice of you,” she replied.

Awkward silence.

“We don’t have to talk about the night before,” Nathan said softly, the gentleness in his voice wasn’t forced or strained like they were before. It was one of the sincere ones and Haley felt more tears spilled down her face. Nathan rarely used that voice. Was she that distraught? What was going to happen next? Should she tell her mother?

She surprised herself with the last question.

Should she…?

“What do you wanna talk about, then?” Haley said, grateful. She somehow knew Nathan was dying to know what happened that night. She would tell him. Sooner or later.

“I don’t know,” Nathan’s voice rang in her ear. “Whatever you want, honestly.”

Another awkward pause.

“Nathan…?”

“I’m still here.”

“Can you just…talk?” She whispered, careful as not to let him hear her quivering voice or her sobs. “I just want to listen to your voice.”

“Okay.”