Love Letters to Write Before I Die

He tossed the dime and letter back on the ground, a tad far away from him and pretended to be interested in something else. About 15 minutes later, after Haley came down, he saw out of the corner of his eyes that she looked distraught for a moment before quickly picking them up and stuffing them back into her pocket securely. He closed his eyes, breathing a tiny sigh as he tried to sort out the events.

So Haley…was the letter Haley.

He wondered if she knew that she was the one who had been writing to her all along.

The words that he wrote rushed back into his mind, flashing before his eyes as he remembered the depressing, pessimistic bullshit he wrote to her – the depressing, pessimistic bullshit that he didn’t even know why he was writing in the first place. He just wanted desperately to prove her wrong, which by the way was totally impossible. He should’ve known that.

She waved her hand in front of him, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Let’s go back soon. I have a study group due in a few hours.”

She knew, right? The clues to the puzzle were all there – it was so glaringly obvious. Maybe that was the problem – it was too obvious, that it was almost absurd. Such a coincidence didn’t happen often in his life and he was sure that it was the same for Haley.

A few minutes after they left the indoor climbing centre and got themselves sandwiches, Haley began to talk. He didn’t expect that, so he was honestly taken aback when she randomly started to tell him about her dad and how he was a good man.

“I know he is,” Nathan said, staring at her weirdly.

“Do you really think so?” She whispered, looking at her sandwich, fiddling with the wrapper.

He stopped in his tracks, tilting his head slightly to the left. Why the hell was Haley asking him these pointless questions? He didn’t feel particularly comfortable with it after his bad feeling about Dr. Michael Dumont. He preferred to think with facts and logic rather than ‘just a hunch’.

There was just something not right with the way everything moved on in Haley’s life ever since that party. He began to wonder if he did something wrong, or the party was just so piss boring that it bored her to death?

“Where’s that disgustingly happy spirit of yours, geez?” asked Nathan, a tad jokingly.

“My dad’s cheating on my mom, Nathan,” she said, looking up into his eyes. He couldn’t make out the swirl of emotions behind them. For a moment, he was speechless.

“That’s…quite an accusation, Haley,” he said. “He’s quite the surgeon in town, even if he wanted to have an affair, why choose a fancy hotel?”

“How should I know, Nathan?!” She shouted, taking him by surprise. Her lips parted to hurl a couple more words at him but she decided not to and simply walked away briskly. Nathan sighed and caught up with her after she threw her unfinished sandwich into a nearby trash can.

“Haley, wait up,” he called out, grabbing her upper arm and forcing her to stop.

“You guys are treating this as if I haven’t seen it with my own eyes,” she mumbled, trying to hide the tears. Nathan didn’t understand anything nor did he know how to handle a crying teenager. “I saw them, Nathan. I saw them.”

Nathan grimaced. Damn, he seriously didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t really the type of person who had many friends. The ones he actually had had never experienced something this…tragic.

“I’m fine,” she said suddenly with such determination in her voice. It sounded as if she was trying to reassure herself. Nathan swung his arms around her shoulder protectively after wiping her tears away with his thumb.

“Come on, let’s get you home.”

People on the streets were starting to look at them oddly anyway.

At that time, he began harboring a burgeoning hatred towards Haley’s father the more he thought about the possibility that he had an affair. When they got out of the car, Haley was silent. The tension between them was so thick and a tad awkward that Nathan almost forgot about the whole letter thing.

Seeing Haley so depressed was a rare sight. He thought she wasn’t capable to look so miserable but obviously, she proved him wrong. Her fingers trembled when she wanted to unlock the door. Nathan placed his hand over hers and took the keys, unlocking the front door.

“Do you want me to stay with you or…something?” He asked, raising his eyebrow.

“You sound excited,” she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Nathan smiled a bit. “I’m not used to this, I’m sorry.”

He swung the door open. “After you,” he said.

“You could go home, you know,” she said. “I’m fine. I’m…” she trailed off and stopped in the hallway. It was as if someone froze her on the spot, a look of disbelief and rage tangled in her eyes. Nathan followed her gaze and he wasn’t sure what to think anymore.

“SERIOUSLY?!” She screamed. “In our own home?! What the fuck is wrong with you!”

Nathan didn’t know how Haley felt at that moment even if he tried.