Sessions Spent Alive

Tanna didn’t really remember where she was or who she was with. She couldn’t stand, she couldn’t even move. She was somewhere, soft, like her bed. She remembered being on the floor at some point, and she also remembered someone being with her.
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Several hour later Tanna woke up to a white ceiling, within her own flat.

Had it all been a dream?

She raised her arms above her head and stretched as far as she could. She arose from her bed, she had an oversized white t-shirt on – and her hair felt like a mess. A shower was added to her list of things to do, while the second was to figure out why Dr. Sweets was on her living room couch.

He was still in his suit, even his shoes were still on, but he looked exhausted. His head was against the arm of the couch while his arm covered his eyes to block the light from the open window.

She decided the man in her front room proved to be more puzzling than the shower. But then she saw the wine glass on the counter, and an empty bottle of pills by the sink. She walked across the cool linoleum floor and saw that whatever had been in the wine bottle, and the aspirin bottle had gone down the drain.

”Shit.” she thought.

She scrambled atop the refrigerator, and found her tiny manila envelope, and inside the small plastic bag was missing.

“Looking for something?” Sweets asked from over by the couch. His eyes stayed shut, and he was still laying down while he carried on the conversation.

“You just decide to break in? Raid my meds?”

“Um. Tanna, ‘your meds’ would imply your medicine, which there are none that I have prescribed. Including these.” Lance held out the missing plastic bag that he’d been hiding within his coat pocket.

“Give me those!” she said climbing over the couch and outstretching her hand to reach for the bag, Dr. Sweets casually kept them just out of her reach while he tried to push away the girl that had now climbed on top of him.

He was able to keep her from the bag easily, she was a lot smaller than him, and Doctor Sweets was not a big man – which is why he almost found it amusing, except for the part where his patient was straddling him, half naked.

“Tanna the use of illegal drugs is strictly prohibited in a case like this! If you’d been caught, your statement would be irrelevant – meaning all the work we do would’ve been for nothing.” Lance couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she looked even after she’d just woken up. Disheveled hair and t-shirts made her seem so natural and so heavenly. “Tanna! I’m not even supposed to be here!” he said frustrated his thoughts were wandering again.

“Then leave!” she shouted. She pulled herself off of him, and sat at his feet so he could get up and leave. He did stand up, but Sweets said:

“No.” he shook his head and said again: “No.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“You ran out because of me. And I saved your life. And I also didn’t take you straight to the hospital, so I think you owe me some sort of thanks, or apology, or anything!”

“Oh, fine, how about fuck you?”

“That won’t do.”

“Isn’t there some sort of law about you being here, in my apartment, while I’m dressed like – How did I get dressed like this anyway?”

“You changed yourself don’t look at me!” Lance said looking innocent. The reality was that Tanna had gotten very sick from the mixture of pills and alcohol, and after nearly purging everything in her system – she needed new clothes, and she had actually pleaded with Lance to help her, but seeing as how her memory of the events were fuzzy, Lance took that to his advantage and told her otherwise.

He shook those intimate thoughts from his head and came back into the conversation.

“I’m sure this is against the ‘rules’ isn’t it Doctor? And you’ve always been one for the rules.”

“Not if this is an outside session, this morning I’ve gotten permission to take you somewhere, so you can just relax, because you are not getting out of today’s session Tanna.”
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Sweets didn’t let her take a shower like she’d wanted. He made her get dressed and once she was she found herself in a vehicle driving god knows where.

But it didn’t take her long to figure it all out. Sweets was taking her home, her old home, her first home. Tanna wouldn’t talk about her mother, and now he wanted to take her to the place where she had the most memories of her.

And at this point, she wasn’t going to fight back, because whatever plan Sweets had in his head, she was curious about.

“So I’m I supposed to keep quiet about you in my apartment?” she asked.

“Yes. All I did was drive the car up, and you met me outside.” He answered back.

“Great, I’ll add that one to the list.” She said smiling.

“There is no list!”

“Oh you know there is.” Tanna was still smiling. Lance looked a little more… concerned.
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The pulled up to her old apartment building. She had lived here with her mother for years. Her father had never been in her life, and the only man-type figure she ever had was her mothers on-again, off-again boyfriend. Maybe Tanna had learned her bad habits from her mother. Her mother had been expecting a baby boy, this was during a span of months where her mothers boyfriend was absent, again. But together they made the rent and were happy just with each other.

Tanna stepped out of the car and was somehow able to lead herself into the building, which she still had a key for. She let herself in, and Sweets followed closely behind. This wasn’t the last place she’d lived in, that had been with Marge and Devin. But this is where she grew up with her mom, and where her life was supposed to still be. Instead she was here with her doctor and scars on her arm.

Not what she had expected.

She opened the door to their tiny apartment and found things littered across the floor. The apartment had been seized by the FBI but that didn’t stop her ex-boyfriend or his friends from breaking in to look for her. She could see in the bathroom that there was a bit of blood someone had forgotten to clean up from her first attempt to kill herself. It was hidden well beneath the claw foot tub, but it was still there, she knew what it was.

“I brought you here so you could collect something that are dear to you, perhaps… some things you miss.” Lance said to her.

“Yes,” she paused. “Yes thank you. This was… very nice of you.”

Lance gave her a nod and paced around the room on his own to give her more space. He found more paintings were here, much like her flat back in D.C. Lance remembered finding himself in those paintings. Amongst all the still life, and landscape paintings, there were obviously portraits Tanna had painted of her psychologist. Sweets knew why there were there, at least, he had a good idea from being a psychologist and all. She was obviously on her mind when they were apart, and she obviously saw him as someone a little different than just a Doctor.

Again, he didn’t know why he allowed himself to think like that. She was really a patient, all off limits, but her being forbidden seemed to intrigue Sweets just that bit more. Enough to let her kiss him that night in the car… enough to let him dream…

Tanna was trying to pull Sweets out of whatever daydream he seemed to be in. She held a Matryoshka doll in her hands along with a Cymru mug, and a purple blanket. She seemed to be clinging to them like they were her last pieces of life. She walked into Lance’s arms, and because her were full she expected Lance to hug her. He seemed hesitant but he did give her quite the awkward hug while she smiled at him. She mumbled sorry into his coat collar and enjoyed the moment she had with him.

She regretted yelling at him this morning, he had done nothing but help her, he was there to help her and she shouldn’t push him away. She looked at Doctor Sweets, his face read frustration and worry. He was so hesitant around her, because his job obviously was at stake. She tilted her head upwards to his and waited for him to pull away but he didn’t almost like he knew it was just another thing he could add to the list. She let the things in her arms drop to the floor she heard the soft clink as they landed on the blanket that kept them from breaking. She threw her arms above his shoulders and wrapped them around his neck. He kissed her with this intensity that she knew resided inside him but he kept it close in check. The kisses were hurried, sharp and passionate but Lance’s hands found their way around the girl’s body that he so eagerly craved.