Forget Last Summer

“So we got a show on Friday,” Zack’s voice startled the sleeping girl as she jumped and opened her eyes. Her room as close to pitch dark as she could get it, the dark curtains blocking out most of the light. Her hangover still made her head pound and stomach churn. All she could think of is that she needs to stop partying.

“What?” She asked Zack, slowly sitting up and cradling her head in her hands. Zack laughed from his post at the door, his hangover didn’t seem half as bad by just looking at Brody.

“We have a show Friday, do you want to come?”

“Haven’t I seen enough All Time Low shows? Last time I check, you guys sucked.” She was playing of course, Zack knew it, but it still sounded harsh.

“No, you haven’t because when we went to Florida you lied and didn’t even bother to come.” It was a low blow. Zack knew it and so did Brody. She sat up and gritted her teeth.

“Well, wasn’t it obvious, Zachary, why I didn’t want to go?” Brody stared at her cousin with a dark glare. Zack knew what happened, he knew exactly why Brody said she would go and didn’t bother to show up. Brody remembered that day. She went to a friend’s house. Of course, that’s all she remembers from that day. She didn’t want to see All Time Low. She mainly didn’t want to see Alex.

“He fucked up, Brody, he fucked up and he’s paid the price. So enough already, just come to the fucking show. If you don’t want to for me or the guys, at least go for Acey and Roxie.” Zack turned around out of his cousin’s room and back to his own. Brody rolled her eyes and got up to get ready for the day. She picked up her phone, texted Acey about the show before taking a shower.

Brody’s head still pounded away as she exited the shower, she closed her eyes and rested her back against the wall. She didn’t remember much about the previous night. She didn’t drink anymore just to have fun. She got drunk to forget and to get fucked up. Slowly, Brody knew she was killing herself. She knew exactly why. She fucked up. Alex fucked up. They both fucked up. She fell in love and chose to take it out on everyone and everything in her way.

Brody got dressed in just jeans and a tank top, laying down on her bed and picking up a book. She didn’t feel like doing anything today. So she laid in her bed and read Wicked until it was time for her to eat.

Friday came faster than Brody wanted and Acey currently sat on Brody’s bed waiting for the blonde to get dressed. “You know, you don’t have to get all dolled up. Comfortable clothes are just fine,” Acey pointed out, flipping through the magazine she bought, trying to look as bored as possible just to piss off Brody.

“Fuck off, that’s what I’m doing but I’m trying to find something that…” Brody stopped talking. She didn’t want to finish that sentence or that thought. Acey didn’t pay much attention to it, she figured Brody found the right outfit. Which Brody did. A pair of a grayish black jean shorts which she felt like pairing with ripped leggings, a white tank top. She finished the outfit with her floral combat boots and looked to Acey. “Is this comfortable looking for you?” She joked, smiling a genuine smile that almost felt foreign to her.

Acey looked up at her friend, her hand absentmindedly brushing over the short part of her hair. She nodded, “yeah. You look pretty killer. Trying to impress someone?” Acey winked, trying to sound like she was joking. Brody bought it, laughing while shaking her head.

“Oh yes, secretly I’m trying to impress you so I can steal you from my cousin,” Brody really joked. It was sarcastic but not the same harsh sarcasm that the other girl heard all summer so far. Acey began to smile widely.

“Right, well Roxie should be here soon. Then we can get high before going? I love selling merch stoned, it makes all the kids I go to high school with not so bad.” Acey laughed, remembering the last time a few people from her school came to an All Time Low show. They claimed to love them when they couldn’t even distinguish Circles from Hometown Heroes. Acey didn’t care. They bought the shitty shirts and trendy wrist bands and buttons. It was more money for the boys to try and get studio time again.

“Do you think they’ll get signed one day?” Brody asked as she tousled her hair in her mirror, keeping the hair curly and messy. The question came out so nonchalant that Acey furrowed her brow, she picked at her silver nail polish and shrugged.

“I do. I really do. They’re not like some of these high school bands around here. They have so much potential.” She paused, sitting up on the bed and looked to Brody. “I have a feeling that they’ll be signed within this school year. They’re seniors and they work so hard. They’ve been touring a lot lately, getting their name out there. They’re all over MySpace and Purevolume. It’s insane.” Acey had some sort of smile on her face, one that Brody noticed as different than usual Acey smiles. It had some sort of proud feeling behind it, like every inch of the shorter girl just radiated with proudness about her best friends.

“I know they’re good,” Brody admitted, swallowing a bit, “people in Florida actually knew who they were. At this moment, if they don’t get signed, the music industry lost out on a talented bad that would bring one label a lot of money.” Brody shrugged, trying to seem as if she was only speaking fact. Trying to show that Brody didn’t truly care for the quartet like Acey did. But that was a big lie.

“You know,” Acey started, a small mischievous smirk came on to her lips. “You talk like you actually care about them.”

Brody froze for a moment, her jaw dropping very slightly as he stared at Acey through the mirror. She had stopped applying mascara. Eventually she shook her head and laughed. “You’re insane. I’m just stating a fact. An unbiased fact.” Acey just laughed, not saying a word, to show she didn’t believe Brody one bit. Brody rolled her eyes and finished with her make up.

Once Roxie came to the Merrick household, Brody realized that she felt nervous. She had no reason to feel nervous. She’s gone to plenty of shows, especially All Time Low shows. She couldn’t explain the butterflies in her stomach, or the small shake in her hands. She instantly lit a cigarette as the three girls walked outside to Acey’s car. She didn’t say a word on the way there. Not even while smoking the blunt that Acey had. Roxie and Acey noticed but didn’t say anything until they got out of the car. Acey snatched the cigarette from Brody, as soon as the blonde lit it in the white stick. Brody’s eyes narrowed as she stared at her short friend.

“You get this back when you tell me who stole your tongue?” Acey smirked as she took a drag of the cigarette. Brody rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“No one stole my tongue.” Her voice was short and harsh, pursing her lips as she stole the cigarette back. “Drop it, alright?” Acey shook her head, biting the inside of her lip.

“No, Brody, I let a lot of things slide so far this summer. You’ve been blowing us off. I thought we were friends.” Acey pursed her lips, staring up at Brody as Roxie stood behind Acey biting her own lip. The two other girls have been thinking about this. Brody isn’t the same. Sure people grow up and people change but Brody Wilson did a full 180. She’s not happy or bubbly like she was last summer. She’s blonde, angry and always with a scowl on her face. Acey and Roxie missed the Wilson girl’s smile.

Even Brody’s aunt and uncle have seen a change. Zack hates the attitude that his cousin isn’t the same anymore. It’s almost like they all lost Brody, this girl here is just a shell.

Brody stared at the girls in front of her with a scowl. She puffed on her cigarette before rolling her eyes. “I’m not blowing you off.”

It was with those few words that made Acey’s high dwindle a bit. She rolled her eyes and walked off towards the back of the venue. Roxie shrugged, “just…try to have a good time and be pleasant tonight?” Roxie bit her lip before turning around, wondering if her words were the right ones. Brody huffed, leaning against the wall as she closed her eyes. She smoked her cigarette, eyes closed, thinking about what is wrong with her. She’s not the Brody they know, she knows this and she’s definitely not willing to be that Brody again. So stupid and with an open heart. The Brody that was here last summer is dead and gone, as far as she’s concerned now. Brody opened her eyes again and Alex stood next to her, staring at her with a look she knew so well. Regret, mixed with a bit of I’m sorry and please don’t hate me. Brody shook her head before laughing, she laughed with so much spite in her and she flicked the almost finished cigarette away. As if this day just couldn’t get worse. Alex Gaskarth, here to say he’s sorry. Again.

“We need to talk,” the words came out in an urgent whisper, Alex seemed to look around Brody instead of at her. The blonde shook her head, mentally saying fuck it and quickly lit another cigarette. Inhaling the smoke quickly, as if this cigarette would magically make Alex Gaskarth disappear. The sad part is, he didn’t. “I’m serious, Brody.”

“Yeah?” She turned to him, eyes malicious yet an eyebrow quirked upwards as if challenging him to say something, to prove himself. She stood with one hand on her hip and the other bringing the cigarette to and from her lips. Brody stared at Alex, wishing he’d leave her alone and shove whatever he had to say up his ass. She didn’t care, or so she told herself. She didn’t care that he was sorry, that she was sorry, that last summer should never have happened. She’s just sick of remembering it all. “Well, are you going to tell me what’s so urgent, Gaskarth, or slut’s got your dick?” Her eyes narrowed as her voice spat vicious words at the boy. His stomach turned and fell, his lips parting just slightly letting his tongue glide across them.

“Well the last girl who touched my dick was you, so I’d be careful who I’m calling a slut.” And there it was, the guarded and arrogant Alex Gaskarth smirk and eyebrow twinge. He looked at Brody the way she looked at him, challenging each other to either make one person feel guilty or make the other feel worse about themselves. Brody’s challenging look quickly turned into one of disbelief, horror almost as she stared back at Alex with wide eyes, a surprised jaw drop. She didn’t remember anything from that party, Jared’s party. The one that happened just that last Saturday, where Brody found Alex and kissed him until they were alone in an abandoned room. Alex was drunk but not drunk enough to forget how it felt, holding her and touching her again. The way her lips felt against his skin, his skin still remembering like almost a year hadn’t past. Their body’s meshing and sliding against each other, the friction being the best feeling in the world. Nothing mattered but their sloppy kisses, fumbling hands and the squeaks of the mattress.

“What the hell are you talking about?” She hissed, eyes narrowing and ready to call him out on being a liar. Brody doesn’t remember the last few parties she had attended. She didn’t care anymore, the drinking is only getting worse and she thinks, she has hope too, that she found a dealer. Someone who specializes in a substance better than weed, better than alcohol and weed together. That hopeful part of her couldn’t wait for the next party. Alex ran a hand through his hair, unsure of how to answer this. They had sex. He remembers, she doesn’t.

“We fucked,” as tactless as Alex can be, this has to be his worst conversation in all of his seventeen years. “We fucked at Jared Sander’s house, you jumped on me and you were the one who tore off my clothes.” Alex leaned in, barely an inch away from her as he lowered his voice. “You ran your hands, your tongue all over my body and, Brody,” he paused, watching the girl’s shocked face try look calm, “you loved every fucking minute of it.”

“Stop it,” she spoke, finally, shutting her eyes and stepping back from Alex. “Just stop it, stop talking to me. Stop looking at me. Stop thinking about me.” She opened her eyes, taking one last hit of her dwindled cigarette before tossing it. “Alex, we’re over. You made this so fucking clear last summer. Not like we were ever started.” Brody went to move past Alex but he grabbed her wrist, pulling her to look at him.

“We did start, we started and stopped and started up again. Round in circles we went,” he spat before walking away from her first, angrily walking through the doors to where his band would be. To him, Brody Wilson ruined his life a year ago and ruined his night now. Alex was determined to give the girl hell tonight, like she’s given him hell for months, almost a year. What was the point in even being civil when she was the spark to ignite their war? Brody walked into the venue and went up to where Acey said the merch table would be, she sat down next to Acey before resting her face into her hands.

“What took you so long?” Acey hissed, still a bit pissed about earlier and Brody picked her head up, shaking her head before running a hand through her tousled hair.

“Alex.” Two syllables, one word and instantly Acey wasn’t mad anymore. She took Brody’s shoulders and pulled the girl close to her, rubbing her arm. “We fucked, I don’t remember and he’s mad about it. But I told him it was over, Acey. We’ve been over.” Acey sighed, taking in a deep breath before pushing Brody away a bit.

“Were you ever started? That’s the fucking thing, Brody. Were you two ever together? And when did it really end? He gave a half assed goodbye at the airport but went to Florida for Thanksgiving. Around the same time you stopped talking to rest of us. What are you two? You’ll flirt, you’ll hook up. You’ll get jealous if he’s talking to someone else and he’ll get jealous when you do the same. You’ll fight and hate each other before you’re back to being completely infatuated with each other. You claim he broke you, and I say you broke him. You two are a broken record, round in circles but always skipping when shit doesn’t go your way.” Acey full on ranted, barely taking in breaths until she was finished. Huffing and puffing, Acey stared at Brody as she was standing now and her eyes wide with confusion and anger. “No one knows what happened, just guesses from all the songs he wrote about you. I would not be surprised, save for maybe three songs, if this whole EP,” Acey picked up the EP they had to sell. “If this EP is about you.” Acey tossed the EP on to Brody’s lap before moving under the table. “I’m going outside.” With that last mumble the girl left the merch area as Roxie returned.

“Where did Acey go?” Brody didn’t answer the confused girl. Instead she stared at the EP, at the names of the songs. Circles stuck out to her, like the words that Alex had harshly said to her and the ones Acey ranted about. Brody tried to remember that time they listened to this very same EP in the car, she couldn’t remember the song or if it sounded familiar. Track 5, Acey kept skipping over track 5. Brody felt her heart racing as the sound a band setting up had started. Her head snapped up, looking towards the stage across the room. It wasn’t All Time Low, not yet, but Brody needed to hear this song. She needed to know if her suspicions are true. Circles is about her. Then she remembered what Alex said about Noel, track 9, and her three guesses that she never expressed. Brody turned to Roxie with her heart hammering like the drum currently sounding off.

“Which songs are they playing?” Brody can remember the last show of All Time Low’s that she attended, how the band had about a handful of original songs ready to play and spent a few songs of the set covering Blink 182 or New Found Glory, something to keep the mood of the crowd up. Now they have a whole EP full of so many more songs. Songs about her. Roxie looked nervous as she stared at Brody and shrugged.

“I’m sure they’ll open with the Party Scene, it’s a crowd favorite and really gets kids pumped. Then Circles, Hometown Heroes, Running From Lions somewhere in that mix. They’ll probably cover two bands, as usual, and then closing with Straight Up Hustler.” Roxie shrugged before waving to a girl from school she knew. Brody stood up and took in a deep breath.

“I’m going to watch the show in the crowd. I can’t stand just sitting here, Rox, sorry.” And with that, Brody darted off to the crowd and got right in the middle of it as the first band played. She’ll be ready to hear and truly listen to every word Alex Gaskarth says about her.