Taste of Youth

I wasn’t sure how to treat Lily after that so I simply returned her cold shoulder. Alice looked hopelessly lost when Lily and I had passed each other the next morning without greeting. The rest of the Gryffindor’s looked bewildered by the motion obviously having gotten used to the three of us being together like the group of boys. No official lines were drawn but it felt like it. The only Gryffindor to talk to me that morning was Remus who approached me in the library where I’d confined myself.

“Luciana?” His voice was soft almost worried.

“Morning, Remus.”

“You sound terrible, no offense.”

I shrugged and rubbed at my tired puffy eyes, “It’s fine. I knew that would happen, avoided the mirror this morning see.”

Remus sighed and pulled out the chair next to me, “You’re not coming down for breakfast?”

“No. No, I don’t think so.”

“You need to eat, Luce.”

I shrugged again, “Not really hungry.”

“The guys and I heard Lily shouting last night and you guys aren’t talking today. Does this have something to do with it?”

He was only being nice, I told myself. He’s just worried for a fellow classmate. He doesn’t mean any harm. No matter what I told myself it was hard to control my tear ducts and my emotions.

“Drop it, okay, Remus. Just please.” I pressed my hands to my face and tried to stop the shaking.

I’d never had friends like Lily and Alice before. I’d never had people worry after me. I’d been yelled at and cursed at and told that I didn’t deserve to exist and all of those things hurt. But they didn’t hurt like this did, didn’t make me care like this did.

“Luce, I’m sorry but I’m going to keep bugging you until you tell me.”

I sighed and bit my lip, “We fought about Auror training. I told her I didn’t know if I wanted to do it anymore and she called me a coward. A coward, Remus.”

“Merlin, you two.” Remus shook his head and looked at me tiredly, “You’re not a coward, Luciana. Lily’s just- just freaking out a little about the war that’s coming. I’m sure she didn’t mean it.”

I gave him a look, “Lily means everything she says.”

“Not that. I’ve never seen anyone become better friends faster than you three. She wouldn’t have meant anything that would hurt you, it’s not how Lily works.”

“I’m having a hard time believing you, Remus. A real hard time.” I sighed and closed the Transfiguration book in front of me, “Do you know where Dumbledore’s shipping us?”

Remus send me a look that said he wasn’t dropping this issue, “Not really. He only said that it wasn’t mandatory to go but highly recommended.”

“In other words, there’s no choice.”

“Pretty much.” Remus smiled, “Are you really okay, Luce?”

“No, but I’ll get over it eventually.” I smiled banishing my book back into place and rising, “Tell Dumbledore I’ll be staying behind, will you? I have some stuff here I have to take care of.”

“Alright. Stay safe, Luciana.”

I waved at him over my shoulder and hurried out the door, my brothers keys jingling in my pocket. I headed straight up to the sixth floor, nodding to a couple of Ravenclaw girls as I passed. There was no way I was going on that trip with things as they were and whatever was in my brother’s rooms would prove to be far better of a distraction and far away from the group of students.

“Luciana!” Sirius steadied me after we’d bumped into each other, “You’re going the wrong way, Dumbledore told us to meet in the Great Hall.”

“Actually no, I mean, I’m not going.” I pulled away from the boy and continued on, “Sorry for bumping into you!”

I rushed up the last flight of stairs and turned left like I had the night before. My scorch mark was still there and the painting held a girl drinking from one of the many bottles that were on the counter. She gave me a prim look and slammed her bottle down.

“You must be the one who burned that mark next to my painting. What do you want?”

“Um, sorry about that. I’m just looking for Leon Rein’s courters.”

She snorted and eyed me, “Lot’s of girls have come around looking for his courters. But he’s not here anymore.”

“I know. I- I’m his sister.”

The painting immediately perked up and narrowed her eyes at me, “You’re his sister? You’re not eleven.”

“No, I’m not anymore but I am his sister. The last time I saw Leon was when I was eleven.” I pulled out the keys from my pocket, “I have these and I’m just trying to find him.”

“He’s not here anymore, hun.” She hiccuped.

“I know but his stuff is and- and that’s all that’s left so, so can you please help me?”

The girl eyed me a bit more and held out her hand “Give me those I’ll open up.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The keys, kiddy. You’re not a painting you can’t open it up.”

“I- what- okay.” I placed the keys against the painting where they melted in dropping straight to the dirty floor.

“Honestly, you couldn’t put them in my hand? That took much to ask?” The girl grumbled and snatched up the keys glowering, “The doors behind you, brat.”

I turned around and eyed the painting behind me. It was a larger painting of an empty study. The girl came in the painting from the right side and stuck a key in one of the drawer on the desk. The painting groaned and popped away from the wall.

“Here.” The girl said and the keys dropped out of the painting hitting the corridor floor with a clank, “You can pick them up can’t you?”

“Ah yes, thank you.”

I picked up the keys and dug my fingers into the small space between the painting and the wall. I gave it a sharp tug and the painting swung smoothly open. Stepping in light flared revealing a wide messy room that still smelled faintly of the strange mix of mowed grass and detergent that was like Leon’s personal cologne. Tears began to bubble up in my eyes and I willed them away staring at my brother’s courters.

There wasn’t anything particularly impressive about the room. It was a rather large rectangle that reminded me of the rooms we’d had back home and there were three windows with a few feet between them looking out toward the lake. There was a bed much like the ones in the dorms shoved in the corner, a desk area that was surprisingly neat, a dresser, a small closet and a bathroom. There was a waste basket next to the desk overflowing with crumpled parchment. It looked for all the world like he’d just gone on a trip to a friends place and would be back any second.