Taste of Youth

We ate our feast and laughed and shared the events that had happened over our times apart. Alice had taken shears to her head and looked good with her hair cropped close to her cheeks. Lily had met her sisters boyfriend and moaned about the abrasive pair much to the enjoyment of the rest of us. We didn’t talk about the paper, we didn’t really talk about the things that mattered terribly and for now that was okay. It was a good meal to lose yourself in.

“Luciana?” Came a soft voice at the door as the group headed for the dorms.

Chase was slumped against the door jamb his hand partially raised in a wave of greeting. Sirius bristled beside me and I watched the strange sort of defensiveness that passed over Lily’s face with a mild amount of amusement. The group had slowly puttered to a scattered stop all of us staring at the uncomfortable looking Hufflepuff.

“Can we talk?” He tilted is head toward the opposite hallway, “Alone?”

I moved away from the group patting Lily’s elbow as I shifted toward him, “Of course. I’ll meet you guys in the common room, okay?”

Lily nodded slowly glowering at Chase over my shoulder and lead the rest away. Chase lead me farther down the hallway away from the slew of teenagers shuffling tiredly to their dorms. We ducked into a classroom and stood a few feet from each other.He took a slow breath and let it out rubbing the back of his neck as he finally began to speak.

“I miss you,” His words came out sort of strangled like they couldn’t find their way, “and I know I don’t really deserve to. I know what we split for was stupid and I was just - Merlin it was a horrible week and you were with Black all the time and I couldn’t-”

He scrubbed at his face and gripped his hair looking at me with horribly sad eyes, “I just want another chance, Luciana, please.”

I hugged myself tightly digging my fingers into my sides, “Another chance to what, Chase?”

“To be with you. I love you, Luciana.”

I leaned back against one of the desks feeling warm all over and cold in the center. He loved me? Did he know me well enough for that? Could anyone love someone like me? The words made me feel lost and all too found. My chest split open in the center and my hands desperately tried to pull it closed. Chase was a few inches from me now hands brushing against my face so gently I split open further. Did I love him back? Did I know how to feel that way?

“I don’t understand.” I whispered taking fistfuls of his shirt.

“I love you.” He repeated over and over kissing my face with each time, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

I held onto feeling desperate, for what I couldn’t tell but the emptiness in my yawned open and he saw and it was okay. He kissed my lips once, his jaw shuffled back and forth bumping against mine too hard. It was messy and unpracticed and wonderful in its naivety. He had seen so much of me, had seen me wreaked with sobs, had seen me happy, had seen me obsessive and crazy and he made it okay.