Life on Point
Back to normal
"Good morning," Katie said to me gently, sitting up beside me with the bed sheet wrapped around her body. I looked at her: tired eyes, lips pouted in a way I’m sure was meant to be seductive and a red mark already beginning to form underneath her jaw. The love bite was a physical reminder of what I had done and it made me feel more guilty than I ever had before.
Taking a deep breath I plucked up the courage to do the inevitable. “Katie, about last night…” I began but she cut across me, her voice surprisingly angry. “I know Sophia, you don’t need to say anything. I know why it happened, I know what it meant to you.” I still wasn’t sure she understood what I needed her to but as I tried to explain she talked over me once again.
“Look, I know I was just a fucking rebound! I know it didn't mean a thing to you. I know that you regret it” she shouted at me and the sharpness and sadness in her voice overwhelmed me. As I remained silent tears filled up her eyes and spilled over them. She blinked them furiously away, desperate not to let me see her so weak. It was then I realised the kind of person I had become, I had used and then dropped my best friend simply to make myself feel better and to secretly spite Libby for how she had treated me. Katie had always been there for me, even when Lib hadn’t and if I was honest with myself I had known for a long time how she had felt about me. I had chosen to selfishly manipulate her emotions, despite everything she had done for me.
It was Katie who had held my hand in year ten when the bullying had got so bad I’d thought about ending it all. When I looked back at all the big events in my life she was the one person who had been by my side for all of them. She had been the only person who truly accepted me when I told her I was gay. She was the best friend anyone could ever ask for. And I had lost sight of this, messed with her head and used her simply because I had become so absorbed with me and Libby it was like nothing mattered anymore. I had jumped into bed with her despite the fact I knew I would end up hurting her. When had I become so fucking self-absorbed?
“I’m sorry,” I told her, taking her hand in mine. “For what?” she asked me kindly. I didn’t know where to begin, I was sorry for so many things. “For basically turning my back on everyone, for being a shit best friend, for not listening to you in the first place... for what happened last night. I’m just so sorry for everything Katie.” She smiled at me and squeezed my hand. “Everything’s back to normal now, so there’s no need to be sorry. Libby’s out of your life now, you can be yourself again” There was a slow, comfortable pause before she said, “come on, let’s go get a coffee.”
She was right: everything was back to normal. I didn’t belong to the magical, glamorous world of Libby Gaiman. I guess I never really had.
Taking a deep breath I plucked up the courage to do the inevitable. “Katie, about last night…” I began but she cut across me, her voice surprisingly angry. “I know Sophia, you don’t need to say anything. I know why it happened, I know what it meant to you.” I still wasn’t sure she understood what I needed her to but as I tried to explain she talked over me once again.
“Look, I know I was just a fucking rebound! I know it didn't mean a thing to you. I know that you regret it” she shouted at me and the sharpness and sadness in her voice overwhelmed me. As I remained silent tears filled up her eyes and spilled over them. She blinked them furiously away, desperate not to let me see her so weak. It was then I realised the kind of person I had become, I had used and then dropped my best friend simply to make myself feel better and to secretly spite Libby for how she had treated me. Katie had always been there for me, even when Lib hadn’t and if I was honest with myself I had known for a long time how she had felt about me. I had chosen to selfishly manipulate her emotions, despite everything she had done for me.
It was Katie who had held my hand in year ten when the bullying had got so bad I’d thought about ending it all. When I looked back at all the big events in my life she was the one person who had been by my side for all of them. She had been the only person who truly accepted me when I told her I was gay. She was the best friend anyone could ever ask for. And I had lost sight of this, messed with her head and used her simply because I had become so absorbed with me and Libby it was like nothing mattered anymore. I had jumped into bed with her despite the fact I knew I would end up hurting her. When had I become so fucking self-absorbed?
“I’m sorry,” I told her, taking her hand in mine. “For what?” she asked me kindly. I didn’t know where to begin, I was sorry for so many things. “For basically turning my back on everyone, for being a shit best friend, for not listening to you in the first place... for what happened last night. I’m just so sorry for everything Katie.” She smiled at me and squeezed my hand. “Everything’s back to normal now, so there’s no need to be sorry. Libby’s out of your life now, you can be yourself again” There was a slow, comfortable pause before she said, “come on, let’s go get a coffee.”
She was right: everything was back to normal. I didn’t belong to the magical, glamorous world of Libby Gaiman. I guess I never really had.
♠ ♠ ♠
If you're reading this then please tell me what you think and subscribe?? :)Thank you to the people who have subscribed and stuff, especially AnimeLove for your lovely comments :)