Life on Point
One year later
**Sophia**
-One year later-
My hands were shaking as I held the envelope in my hand, knowing that inside was what would make, or break my future. I had no idea if I would getthe grades to go to the university I wanted to, to fulfil the life that I wanted to. My friends walked over to me and we stood there, standing next to each other, shaking hands clutching onto the bright white envelopes with our names on them. I squeezed my friend Naomi’s hand tightly, trying to silently reassure her that her grades would be fine. “Okay, on the count of three,” I said finally. “One...” we said all said together quietly, “Two...Three!”
The crisp sound of the envelopes being torn open surrounded me as I took out the piece of paper inside and tentaively looked at it:
Economics – A
English – A
Politics – A (Distinction)
I grinned to myself and breathed out the breath I had been holding inside in anticipation. My offer to Oxford University had been conditional on 3 A grades and now that I had got them I finally felt a heavy weight lifting off my shoulders. I felt total relief, like all the time I had put into preparing for the exams was worth it. I would be studying a course I loved at a university I had always dreamed of going to and, most importantly of all, I would be less than an hour away from Libby.
Having reminded myself of her I fished my mobile from my back pocket and typed in her number. “Hey it’s me,” I said when she had picked up the phone. When she didn’t reply I continued talking, “I just got my results in. I got all As, so I’ll be going to Oxford!” There was a pause on the other end before she replied in a monotone voice, “cool.”
I remembered how I had reacted when she had accomplished her dream and been accepted to the place she had always wanted to go to. The two reactions couldn’t have been further apart and I felt crushed, as pathetic as it was I felt like a bubble inside me had been burst and I couldn’t believe that she had been the one that burst it. “Cool?” I questioned, “I thought you’d have been a bit happier for me than that to be honest Lib. You know how much I wanted this and besides, it means I’ll be nearer to you.” I waited for her apology, for her real reaction to begin but it didn’t. “Libby?” I asked no longer trying to keep the anger out of my voice, no longer caring if she sensed how upset I was. In fact, I wanted her to know. I wanted her to know how damn selfish she was being. Again.
“I got to go, I’ll talk to you later,” she said, her voice still emotionless. Then she hung up leaving me standing in the hall angry, hurt and confused. I knew she was under a lot of pressure at the moment getting ready for her first leading ballet role and I knew how much was depending on her performance but that didn’t give her the right to treat me like I didn’t even matter. Her moving three hours away had been a challenge, something like that would have put a strain on any relationship but she was the one that insisted we would make it work, that we would stay together no matter what. She was the one who made me promise our relationship would stay just as good and just as important.
It was because of that that we made sure we spent a weekend together as often as we could and at least one day with each other every fortnight. We must have spent a fortune on train tickets between the two of us but we made it work because we both wanted this as much as each other. We were each other’s top priorities. I loved her and she loved me. Or so I thought.
The thing is though, when you love someone you want them to be happy. That was why I had basically had a fit when she told me she’d been accepted to Ramussen, even though it meant she would be leaving me. That was why I traipsed 3hours up to see her every time they had some mid-term performance or ensemble part. I cared about it because I cared about her and I cared about her because I loved her. That was how things were meant to work but obviously now the tables had turned it wasn’t going to be like that.
Kate linked her arms through mine, “So, what did you get?” she asked, pretending like she hadn’t just overheard the entire conversation I had had with Libby. “3 As” I told her calmly and she squealed and pulled me into a massive hug, “I knew you’d do it! Oh my god, you’re actually going to Oxford...OXFORD! Well done.” I smiled at her but inside her reaction had made me hurt even more, it reminded me of how Libby should have reacted. “What about you?” I could tell it was good news from the smile that was etched onto her face and my suspicious were confirmed when she gushed “ACB! I got the grades I need for Cardiff.”
Then it was my turn to congratulate her and over the next half an hour I found out what each of my friends had got. I think I gave more hugs in that half an hour than in the rest of my life put together. The majority of my friends were happy with their grades and together we did a good job of consoling the few that weren’t. As we left to go to Kate’s house I’d all but forgotten about Libby until someone asked me if I was going to see the show next week. “Yeah, it cost me 55 quid though. I’m happy she’s performing properly for the first time but if she hits success after this I’ll be broke in no time.” They all laughed. All apart from Kate who made eye contact with me and gave me a half smile that was somehow filled with sadness, one that said she understood. I smiled back happily, trying to make her believe that everything was okay between me and Lib. I’d fought damn hard when they found out about me and her to make them accept that she was actually a nice person and that this wasn’t just some sex on demand relationship but that it actually meant something. I wasn’t about to let that all fall apart now over what I was sure was nothing really.
I looked back over my reaction to Libby's lack of enthusiasm and recalled the thoughts that had been running through my mind. I concluded I had been melodramatic; just because she didn’t jump up and down over my grades didn’t mean that she had stopped loving me. I had been over reacting, jumping to conclusions, taking things out of proportion. Everything was fine between us, everything was great. Perfect.
-One year later-
My hands were shaking as I held the envelope in my hand, knowing that inside was what would make, or break my future. I had no idea if I would getthe grades to go to the university I wanted to, to fulfil the life that I wanted to. My friends walked over to me and we stood there, standing next to each other, shaking hands clutching onto the bright white envelopes with our names on them. I squeezed my friend Naomi’s hand tightly, trying to silently reassure her that her grades would be fine. “Okay, on the count of three,” I said finally. “One...” we said all said together quietly, “Two...Three!”
The crisp sound of the envelopes being torn open surrounded me as I took out the piece of paper inside and tentaively looked at it:
Economics – A
English – A
Politics – A (Distinction)
I grinned to myself and breathed out the breath I had been holding inside in anticipation. My offer to Oxford University had been conditional on 3 A grades and now that I had got them I finally felt a heavy weight lifting off my shoulders. I felt total relief, like all the time I had put into preparing for the exams was worth it. I would be studying a course I loved at a university I had always dreamed of going to and, most importantly of all, I would be less than an hour away from Libby.
Having reminded myself of her I fished my mobile from my back pocket and typed in her number. “Hey it’s me,” I said when she had picked up the phone. When she didn’t reply I continued talking, “I just got my results in. I got all As, so I’ll be going to Oxford!” There was a pause on the other end before she replied in a monotone voice, “cool.”
I remembered how I had reacted when she had accomplished her dream and been accepted to the place she had always wanted to go to. The two reactions couldn’t have been further apart and I felt crushed, as pathetic as it was I felt like a bubble inside me had been burst and I couldn’t believe that she had been the one that burst it. “Cool?” I questioned, “I thought you’d have been a bit happier for me than that to be honest Lib. You know how much I wanted this and besides, it means I’ll be nearer to you.” I waited for her apology, for her real reaction to begin but it didn’t. “Libby?” I asked no longer trying to keep the anger out of my voice, no longer caring if she sensed how upset I was. In fact, I wanted her to know. I wanted her to know how damn selfish she was being. Again.
“I got to go, I’ll talk to you later,” she said, her voice still emotionless. Then she hung up leaving me standing in the hall angry, hurt and confused. I knew she was under a lot of pressure at the moment getting ready for her first leading ballet role and I knew how much was depending on her performance but that didn’t give her the right to treat me like I didn’t even matter. Her moving three hours away had been a challenge, something like that would have put a strain on any relationship but she was the one that insisted we would make it work, that we would stay together no matter what. She was the one who made me promise our relationship would stay just as good and just as important.
It was because of that that we made sure we spent a weekend together as often as we could and at least one day with each other every fortnight. We must have spent a fortune on train tickets between the two of us but we made it work because we both wanted this as much as each other. We were each other’s top priorities. I loved her and she loved me. Or so I thought.
The thing is though, when you love someone you want them to be happy. That was why I had basically had a fit when she told me she’d been accepted to Ramussen, even though it meant she would be leaving me. That was why I traipsed 3hours up to see her every time they had some mid-term performance or ensemble part. I cared about it because I cared about her and I cared about her because I loved her. That was how things were meant to work but obviously now the tables had turned it wasn’t going to be like that.
Kate linked her arms through mine, “So, what did you get?” she asked, pretending like she hadn’t just overheard the entire conversation I had had with Libby. “3 As” I told her calmly and she squealed and pulled me into a massive hug, “I knew you’d do it! Oh my god, you’re actually going to Oxford...OXFORD! Well done.” I smiled at her but inside her reaction had made me hurt even more, it reminded me of how Libby should have reacted. “What about you?” I could tell it was good news from the smile that was etched onto her face and my suspicious were confirmed when she gushed “ACB! I got the grades I need for Cardiff.”
Then it was my turn to congratulate her and over the next half an hour I found out what each of my friends had got. I think I gave more hugs in that half an hour than in the rest of my life put together. The majority of my friends were happy with their grades and together we did a good job of consoling the few that weren’t. As we left to go to Kate’s house I’d all but forgotten about Libby until someone asked me if I was going to see the show next week. “Yeah, it cost me 55 quid though. I’m happy she’s performing properly for the first time but if she hits success after this I’ll be broke in no time.” They all laughed. All apart from Kate who made eye contact with me and gave me a half smile that was somehow filled with sadness, one that said she understood. I smiled back happily, trying to make her believe that everything was okay between me and Lib. I’d fought damn hard when they found out about me and her to make them accept that she was actually a nice person and that this wasn’t just some sex on demand relationship but that it actually meant something. I wasn’t about to let that all fall apart now over what I was sure was nothing really.
I looked back over my reaction to Libby's lack of enthusiasm and recalled the thoughts that had been running through my mind. I concluded I had been melodramatic; just because she didn’t jump up and down over my grades didn’t mean that she had stopped loving me. I had been over reacting, jumping to conclusions, taking things out of proportion. Everything was fine between us, everything was great. Perfect.
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