Our Defects Prove Our Worth

I have no clue how or why I was convinced to come to this place. Me, at my high school’s prom? Not too likely, in most cases. Somehow, I ended up coming.

I looked around the room, at all the girls in their glittering gowns, and the boys in their, most likely, rented tuxes, they all looked so beautiful. Well, as opposed to me. I wore a bright yellow sun dress that I had bought the day before and, who would have known that cowboy boots went so well with it?

No, I was dressed nothing like them, but I didn’t feel out of place at all. I actually felt like I blended in. Not in the sense that I did, in fact blend in, but because I was dressed differently, I was over-looked. Forgotten.
So, I blended in… With the walls.

Still scanning the room, I saw few familiar faces. People who I’ve exchanged words with over the years, some who I’ve met just this year, and people whom just looked familiar from me seeing them day after day.
I stopped on one certain face.

And, I suddenly remembered. The reason why I came to this god forsaken event, and he was standing right across the room.

Craig Owens.

He made me come. He asked me to come. He <i>wanted</i> me to come.

The effect that boy has on me. Its amazing. He could tell me to jump off a cliff, and while I tried to object, he’d bat his eyelashes and crack a smile, and over the edge I would go.

I did, in fact object to coming here, but the boys got a spell on me.

He was talking to one of his friends that I didn’t know. Actually, I didn’t know any of his friends. Wait… Scratch that. I didn’t know many people <i>at all</i>.

Just him, and the occasional lab partner turned best friend. Except, my best friends never lasted that long. I don’t know why, but I was never able to keep a friend.

He, was an exception. Because, I never tried to keep him. He kept me.

He laughed slightly at something the boy in front of him had said, and turned to look in my direction. His smile faded. Then, reappeared. He nodded at me, and smiled wider.

I sat there, and stared at him. Looking much like an idiot, but I forced a small smile. He then, turned his head back and continued his conversation.

Now, I knew I wasn’t as invisible as I thought.

He saw me.

Oh, but of course <i>he</i> would.

I felt like I needed some air. Well, inside there was air, but not the air I needed. I grabbed my small bag, just big enough to hold my phone, cigarettes, and a mini bottle of hair spray, and went towards the exit.

Outside, it was slightly chilly, but not cold enough to wear a jacket. I walked around the gym, where the prom was being held, to the back. I walked through the open field to the tennis courts, exactly where I spent many of my days, when I was supposed to be in class. In between each court was a large green screen, so I could sit behind them, and no one could see me. Just perfect for when I skipped.

I pulled out my cigarettes and lit one. I sat there, just thinking… and occasionally taking a drag of my cancer stick. I thought about what I would do now that high schools over. I had applied to at least 50 colleges, and I got accepted to every one. But, I didn’t really want to go to college. I only applied for my mother’s sake.

Another thought was, what was he going to do? I know he had applied to go to college, but said he didn’t really wanna go. He wanted to stay here, and do something with his band. Yeah, he was in a band. I never really paid any attention when he started to talk about it. I had never met any of the other members, and I had never seen, or even heard them play. I really wanted to, but at the same time I didn’t.

I’ve had a past with people in bands. They only stay for so long, and then they’re gone. I didn’t want that to happen to me again. I didn’t want him to be taken away from me.

I heard foot steps, or what could have been mistaken for footsteps, coming towards me. I looked and saw
a shadow that led my eyes to him.

“Hey,” He said.

“Hi Craig.” He came and stood beside me.

‘What are you doing out here?” He asked before taking the cigarette from my hand and throwing it on the ground. He rubbed his shoe over it, to make sure it went out. He hated when I smoked. Even though, he smoke as well. He told me it was bad for me. And, I would laugh at his irony.

“I’m not quite sure, actually,” And, in a sense I wasn’t. I knew I didn’t want to be inside. But, I could have been anywhere else, and would have happily stayed inside. So, I’m not sure why I wanted to be outside.
I bet you didn’t understand any of that

“Hmm, well it feels nice out here, mind if I accompany you?”

“No,” I said.

He put his back against the fence and slid down to sit. I looked at him funny, and when he looked up and saw my expression, he laughed.

“What?”

“How can you sit down, the ground is all wet?”

“So…?”

“You’ll get wet.”

“Well, I’ve already sat down, so that means I’m already wet.”

“Well, <i>I’m</I> not sitting down.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll ruin my dress.”

“Oh really?” He asked, eyebrow raised.

“Mmhmm.” I nodded my head as I said it, and crossed my arms. I looked down at him and he kept smiling. I knew what that meant. I knew him too well to not know what it meant.

And, even though I knew, I ignored it. Maybe I don’t know him that well. Maybe that smile meant nothing at all. What if he just likes to smile?

So I just stood there.

Doing nothing.

And, now…

I really wish I hadn’t.