Numb

I tossed my purse onto the couch, and nearly had heart failure when I heard someone make a noise of pain. I spun around, noticing the people sitting on my living room furniture, and stopped dead in my tracks. Sitting on the couch were Stephen, John, Travis, and Terrence. I shot them all glares, knowing exactly what they were there for, and turned on my heel to walk out. Before I could open the door, Katie walked through, and blocked my path from leaving.

“Take a seat, Delaney,” She said, pointing me to the empty chair across from the couch.

“What the hell is this about you guys?” I said throwing myself into the chair, feeling irritated.

“We know how dependent you’ve become on cocaine, as well as alcohol, and we don’t want you to ruin your life even further,” Katie said making my blood boil.

“That’s fucking bullshit,” I said standing up angrily, “I drink just as much as you guys do, if not less half of the time! This is so fucking unnecessary, get out of my house. Now.”

When I saw they were, for the most part, unfazed by my outburst, I let out a growl of frustration, and dropped back onto the chair, crossing my arms and legs. I let my fingernails dig into the skin above my elbows, and focused my vision on the floor, not wanting to look at any of my so-called friends.

“Delaney, please, just hear us out,” Katie said, a small strain in her voice, “You’re my best friend, and have been for years, and I just see you diminishing away into nothing. You’ve told me about all of the different drugs you’ve done, and I’m always scared when you tell me. I’m worried I’m not going to get the text saying you’re okay every morning.

“I worry about you, I really do. I just want my happy Laney back, the one that was full of life. Not the shell of her that’s sitting in front of me right now.”

“If I’m that much of a problem, then why do you keep me in your life?” I asked, bracing myself to leave.

“Because we fucking care about you!” Stephen said, standing up and walking to me, “You have been a part of my family since middle school, you’re practically my sister! And I’ve stood back and watched my brother fall in love with you, while you just throw your life away and use him in every way you can! I’m sick of it, honestly.”

I stared up at him, his arms bracing the arms of the chair, and his face contorted in anger. I stared into his eyes, noticing not only anger, but hurt, and relaxed my shoulders, falling back into chair. He pushed himself up, shooting one final glare, and storming out of the apartment. I heard the picture frame by the door fall as he slammed it, and stared at my lap, not knowing what to feel.

“Anyone else feel like attacking me?” I asked, looking up and chewing on my lip.

“I just want the girl I feel in love with back,” John said catching my eyes finally, “And the girl who loved me right back. We shared some of the best times together back then, but I haven’t see that girl since last winter. I miss sitting together for hours and talking and just having fun.

“Now, when I come home, I find you high at a party, take you home, and have you yell and hit me in the morning. Most people would just give up on the person who did that to him. But I can’t. I can’t sit back and watch your life fall apart when I know you have so much potential.”

I knew there were tears in my eyes, much like the ones I could see in the corners of his, and let my own roll down my cheeks. I shook my head, not having a smart ass comeback for once, and looked at the people sitting in my living room. They all had somber expressions on their faces, glancing between John and I, and I could tell that they really did care for me.

“We were hoping that you’d agree to check into rehab tomorrow,” Terrence said making me snap my head to him.

“We want what’s best for you, and we know that it’ll be the best way to end your addiction,” Travis said shortly.

I opened my mouth, trying to voice my opinion, but found it impossible for me to speak. I knew that I had to go to rehab, in order to conquer my addiction and face my memories. I finally found my voice, nodding and telling them I agreed to go. They all got smiles of relief on their faces, and told me they’d be there for me through all of it. I stood up, accepting a hug from all of them, and arranged for Katie to pick me up tomorrow and take me to the facility.

They all left, minus John, and the pair of us sat opposite of each other on the couch, not exactly knowing what to say.

“Want to help me pack?” I asked, breaking the awkward silence.

“Yeah, then we can get takeout or something,” he said standing up and offering a hand to help me up, “The program will be about a two weeks long, do you have a big enough suitcase, or do you want to use a few duffles?”

“Duffles,” I said opening my closet, “It makes it feel less permanent in a way. There should be two under my bed towards the foot of it.”

He nodded, bending down to search for them, and I started pulling shirts off of hangers and folding them neatly. I set them on the bed, packing more than necessary, and moved onto jeans, allowing John to place my shirts into the duffle bags. He did the same with the shirts, and I took the smaller bag, and put my bras and underwear into it, along with shoes and socks. We placed the packed bags by the front door, and John let me go shower while he ordered us dinner.

When I walked out of the bathroom, sweats and a tank top hanging from my frame, John was already sitting at the table, with everything set out. I walked past my empty chair, and went over to John, hugging him tightly. I thanked him, telling him I wouldn’t be here without him, and sat down, digging into Chinese food he had put on a plate for me.

After I had cleaned up the dishes, telling John it was the least I could do, the pair of us sat on the couch, watching Shutter Island. I let my head rest on his shoulder, missing the times we used to share before everything happened, and feel asleep, hoping for the best.