Priceless

~~~

“Just talk to him,” Erin urged as we stayed inside Serena’s car which was parked in front of the Gomez’. After our talk and drama, and after I had told her about Serena, she and the latter talked and made up as well, and now they were both giving me their two cents as I bit my nails.

It was 5 PM already and we had been staying outside for about an hour twenty minutes already. I was just really hesitating on walking up their residence and knocking at the door. Especially after seeing two cars that were parked outside, one was Josh’s car, the other I didn’t know who the owner was.

“I swear this is killing him, he’s like, avoiding all of us, when we saw him yesterday he said he didn’t want to talk about it, he was just quiet the whole time and he kept on staring at his phone waiting for your text or call,” Erin added.

“I don’t know,” I said, continuing the biting, “maybe it’s not the right time. Maybe I should just go back tomorrow—”

“You’re just gonna torture both him and yourself if you prolong the agony,” Serena said, cutting me off. “Just go and talk to him, like now.”

“But some people are there, maybe he’s drinking and having fun, maybe I should—”

The door to my side opened and I was yanked outside, and it was then that I realized that Erin had gotten off the car. I was defenseless, mainly because I was caught off guard, and she was too strong as well.

“Now get your ass inside before I decide to go up there and knock and tell him that you want to be his girlfriend already,” she snapped.

I glared at her, a slight blush on my cheeks, before I slowly began walking to their front door. But I was halfway through when suddenly my nerves got the better of me and I turned around, ready to go back to the car.

“Go!”

I didn’t realize Erin was right behind me. She forcefully made me turn around again, and pushed me forward, and suddenly the Gomez’ front door was getting nearer. I didn’t know if it was just because Erin was pushing me, or if I was just really walking.

Erin was the one who rang the doorbell, and she did it even before I could compose myself.

“Why did you—”

I was already panicking when Erin rang the doorbell, but at the sight of her running back to the car, that panic was tripled. I was so ready to follow her, but as I was about to turn the door opened.

“Oh.”

I knew it wasn’t Stephen because if it was, my heart would have jumped right out of my chest already. But it was his brother, so still I was nervous.

I looked past John Gomez and caught a sight of the people gathered in their living room. There was Josh, and a couple of guys I didn’t know. Stephen was nowhere in sight.

I got their attention, though. They were laughing at something when the door opened, but upon John’s “oh”, they shut up. The three boys—well four, John Go included—stared at me, Josh and John in shock, and the other two boys in...well, wonder? I doubted they knew who I was. Maybe they were wondering who I was and what I was doing there interrupting men’s night.

“Um...is he...is he there?” I asked John shyly. My voice was low enough for only him to hear. The movie they were watching was loud enough, too, for them not to hear what I’d asked.

“Yeah, he’s....”

The rest of John’s voice drowned when I saw him walk into the living room, a bottle of Jack in his hand. There wasn’t a smile on his face. His face was void of any expression.

And then it happened. He seemed to follow everyone’s gazes and he turned to the door and saw me. The moment our eyes met, I felt like my heart leapt out of my chest. I swallowed hard, not knowing what to do next.

“Uh, I just remembered I have somewhere to go,” Josh said and then motioned to the two other guys to stand up. They did and made their way to the door, where I was. The two boys looked at me and smiled and I studied their features for a while—one had dark, kinda curly hair, and stubble. The other had blonde hair. Or was it light brown? Whatever. Both guys were good-looking, though, and they had this “band dude” aura off them.

“You’re coming, too,” I heard Josh say to John Go. Simultaneously, the two boys waved at me.

“Bye, Bailey,” they said, and I was surprised at how they knew who I was.

I felt awkward as everybody left—everybody but me and Stephen. We remained in that same position we’d been in for the last five minutes. I didn’t know what to do or say. I was still outside, not knowing if I should come in or what.

I heard two cars drive away, but I didn’t bother looking at it. I decided to just look at Stephen once again—and that was what I did. His expression didn’t change, and his eyes were still fixed on me. I felt awkward. Really, really awkward. And conscious, of how I looked. I was pretty sure I didn’t look presentable. My hair was probably too messy already, my eyes were probably too puffy and my face was probably too red. I was far from attractive and his stare wasn’t boosting up my self-esteem.

Dammit, Bailey.

“Uhm...should I just...” I finally started, and then swallowed hard, not sure how to continue. “Should I go, or...”

“Uh, come in,” he said, snapping out of the trance he’d been in as he looked away from me. He put his bottle down and then wiped his hands on his jeans, and oddly, started fixing the pillows. I bit my lip and came in, closing the door behind me as he continued fixing the pillows on the couch. He scratched the back of his head when he was done, and then grabbed the remote and decreased the volume of the TV until you can no longer hear anything, and then increased it again until it was loud enough for the neighbours to hear, and then decreased it once again until it sounded moderate.

I had a feeling he was just as worked up as me.

I walked towards him, not knowing what distance should I keep...if I should keep any. Scratch that. Of course I had to maintain careful distance first. I came here to talk, to explain to him. Not to...not to get close to him right away.

Dammit, Bailey.

“Uhm...so...uh, I have something to say,” I said, as I stood behind him, and I felt him tense as his back straightened up. He threw the remote control the couch and then faced me.

“Uh, alright then, shoot.”

And then all of a sudden, I couldn’t think of anything to say. I met his eyes and they were beautiful and suddenly I could see the longing that was there and I knew mine displayed the same thing.

I needed to get this over with already.

“I finally broke up with Alex,” I said. I watched as his mouth formed a small “oh”. There was silence between us for a few moments, until I talked again. “I’m so sorry for running away from you, I was frustrated and guilty and I regret telling you that I regret it. Because I don’t, Stephen. I’m glad it was with you—I’m glad you’re the first.”

Just saying it made me blush. I looked down on my feet, not knowing what else to say.

He didn’t say anything, and each moment of silence killed me. I felt aggravated due to his lack of emotion or reaction. There I had just told him that I was glad he was my first, and he didn’t even react. What the fuck was up with him.

“I’m just gonna go,” I mumbled and quickly turned on my heel. I started to walk away, hot tears slowly falling down my cheeks due to humiliation, but then he stopped me by grabbing my arm.

“Bailey, wait,” he said and made me turn to him. I wanted to wipe my tears away but it was too late, he had already seen them. “Why are you crying?” he asked softly.

I didn’t want to answer. But the words left my mouth as soon as he asked. “Because here I am apologizing and explaining to you and you’re just standing there staring at me like you don’t even appreciate what I’m doing! I should have never gone here. I should have waited for another day. I should have—”

He had a way of stopping me from talking—and that was by putting his lips over mine. Well, it wasn’t like I could complain. I liked it. It made me forget everything. It made me stop crying. It made me feel comforted.

He kissed me until I fell on the couch, and when his lips left mine I could just giggle and pull him back to me. I looked at his face and he was smiling now, and his smile made my heart beat faster than usual.

“I’ve missed you,” he said and then kissed the side of my lips.

“I did, too,” I said and let him lace our hands together. Once again he met my lips with his and I felt tingles all over, and I never wanted it to end. He smiled into the kiss and I couldn’t help but do the same.

“You’re perfect, Bailey, I’m so lucky to have you,” he said against my lips before kissing me again fully.

I wasn’t perfect, I knew that, but him thinking so just made my heart skip a beat. I was more than lucky to have him, and I was glad I did.

~~~