Priceless

~~~

I woke up to the feeling of euphoria that was absent in my body every time I was at the Fitzgeralds’ residence or without this family of mine. An arm was draped over my waist, and at first glance, I already knew to whom it belonged to.

It didn’t take me much time to notice that I’d fallen asleep on the couch. It was probably sometime between 3 to 4 AM, when John had drunkenly crashed onto me while I was sitting there, and hugged me until he fell asleep.

The couch was not really that big and an ideal place for two people to sleep in, so basically John and I had no space in between us, but I really didn’t mind being that close to a guy I had known for the past six years of my life. I was quite comfortable, too, so I didn’t bother getting up, until Jess stood up in front of me, rubbing her eyes and yawning.

“You wanna go swim for a while?” she asked me.

“Yeah,” I immediately replied as I carefully removed John’s arm and slid off the couch. I set his arm on the space I had been occupying, and he moved a little, but didn’t wake up. I combed my hair with my hands for a bit, smoothing it so it wouldn’t get tangled once I tied it up in a bun.

“I’ll go get you a swimsuit,” Jess said and she disappeared somewhere else as I began tying my hair, and that was when I’d noticed him eyeing me. He was standing a few feet away from me, a smirk playing on his face.

“Yeah, you’re lesbian,” he commented, nodding, like he was very sure of his statement.

And there he was again, confusing me with that personality of his. When we got back to the party last night, after that roof scene, he didn’t say another word to me, up until that lesbian remark. He really confused me, especially since he treated no one like that but me. It was like this minute we’re friends, and in the next he won’t even look my way.

“Lay off, Stephen,” Jess said as she walked back into the living room, two swimsuits in hand. She handed me a bikini as Stephen turned to laugh at her.

“You’re not seriously thinking of checking her out in a bikini, aren’t you, Jess?” he teased, and Jess just rolled her eyes at this, as Erin came to view, with a towel wrapped around her body.

“For fuck’s sakes, Stephen, go to sleep or something,” Erin said, now in her pissy mode. “This is girl bonding time, so fuck off.”

Stephen said nothing more; he just rolled his eyes and threw his arms up in surrender, and then disappeared into the kitchen. Jess then turned to me and told me to go change, and that was what I did right after I found the bathroom.

A few more minutes later, Erin, Jess, Tasha and I were already in the water, deep in conversation about Kennedy and his breakdown that had occurred before he fell asleep. He had gotten even drunker than how he had already been when Erin and I arrived, and after puking into the toilet, he started tearing up and saying he wanted Gabi back. It was Jess and Jared who looked after him until he fell asleep in one of the rooms. Pat and Jared had stayed there with him.

“It will take him so long to get over it,” Erin stated knowingly. “He’s had her on a pedestal for so long, and I bet he just feels like the whole world crashed upon him when they broke up. And he’s gonna feel that way in a loooong time.”

Tasha nodded at this. “We have to keep an eye on him all the time. He could suddenly decide to call her or something, and it could make things worse for him,” she said.

Jess furrowed her eyebrows. “Why do we have to?” she asked. “I mean, if he wants to try to get back with her...we should let him do it. It’s his life, after all.” She shrugged.

Erin and Tasha looked at each other and laughed. “You’re seriously saying that, Jess?” Erin teased. “I mean, you, of all people...”

“Shut up.” Jess blushed and frowned, and I couldn’t help but feel out of place.

“Uh, excuse me?” I said, raising a hand, “Care to share?”

Erin and Tasha laughed once more, before Tasha pursed her lips. “Someone’s been in-love with Kennedy since she was in the fourth grade, but he doesn’t know that,” she said, and I quickly picked up on what she meant. I turned to Jess, my mouth wide in pleasant surprise.

“Oh my God,” I said, letting out a short laugh. “Do any of the boys know?”

The three girls shook their heads. “Strictly girl stuff,” Erin said, holding up a finger, as if warning me.

“I’d rather get teased a lesbian than let them know about it,” Jess said in a serious voice. “It’s just...awkward. I’ve known Kennedy in such a long time, I’m supposed to treat him like a brother or something. I think that’s what they all have in mind—that he’s already like a brother to me, since I’ve sat with him through heartbreaks and foolishness and all that stuff.”

“Love knows no limits,” Erin said with a nod.

Jess waved a hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter anyway,” she said. “One day I’ll be over him. I’m just waiting for that day to come.” And with that, she swam away from us, with Erin and Tasha teasing after her while I just stayed on the same spot, smiling and thinking. I wasn’t thinking about finding love because I knew it was just complicated, and it hurt people. I was just admiring Jess’ selflessness.

“How about you, Bails,” Tasha started, catching my attention, “you in-love with John O?”

I was glad that I wasn’t drinking when she asked that, because if I was, I could’ve spit it on her face. My eyes just widened and my mouth fell open a little, “You’re asking me if I’m in-love with John?” I had to confirm it. I could’ve just heard it wrong.

But Tasha just laughed and nodded. “Yeah, I just asked that. So, are you?”

I started shaking my head frantically, “No. No. No. Just no. No. He’s like a brother to me. NO.”

Erin and Tasha exchanged glances and then laughed. “Seriously? Six no’s?” Erin exclaimed. “I think you’re too defensive. Which could only mean...”

I shook my head once again. “No. I mean, really, no. God, I feel like puking, just thinking about what you just asked makes me think like it’s incest. Fuck,” I said, feeling truly disgusted. John was attractive, but he was really like a brother to me, that was all.

Tasha gave me a teasing grin. “I think he’s in-love with you,” she said, and it made my stomach flip because, really, I felt like she was basically talking about incest.

Erin laughed at this one. “John doesn’t fall in-love,” she said, sure of herself. “He just doesn’t. He’s not capable of that feeling.” Erin’s line made me really curious. I wondered how she could say that and what her basis was. Yes, she teased John about breaking girls’ hearts, but I figured it was only because he was good-looking and lots of girls swooned over her. I felt the need to ask John to tell more stories about him and Erin. All I knew was that he had feelings for her, and I actually thought it was love already, he was just scared to tell her.

Tasha pursed her lips into a knowing smile. “You seem to know a lot about John,” she said in a teasing tone. “Is there like a past or something?”

Erin was always good at hiding things, and even I who had been with her for a long time couldn’t fully figure her out. So when she rolled her eyes, and answered Tasha, I had no idea if she was actually telling the truth or not. “There is no past, present, or future,” she said, and then looked back at me. Trust her to turn the tables back to me. “So, if you’re not in-love with John, are you in-love with Brian?” she asked.

I blinked at her. Seriously? I had a feeling they were gonna enumerate all the boys I was pretty close with. “No, I am not in-love with Brian,” I answered powerfully. “I like him as a friend, and that’s about it.”

“How about Josh?” Tasha tried, and I couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“No offense, Josh is amazing, but he’s a little bit too much for me,” I answered, not thinking twice about it. It was the whole truth.

Tasha and Erin nodded, fully accepting my answer, I supposed. But they weren’t giving up yet. “How about Stephen?” Erin wondered.

This time I was quite in shock, because the past boys they had mentioned were close to me, but Stephen? He and I weren’t exactly friends.

It took me a moment to answer. “Seriously? He and I aren’t even that close,” I said, couldn’t hide my slight astonishment with their question.

Tasha shrugged, “What do you think of him, though?”

“Uh, he’s okay?” I answered questioningly. “He just kinda confuses me. It’s like this minute he talks to me, the next he ignores me. I don’t know if we’re friends, but he’s okay.” Well, it was an honest answer. I really didn’t know Stephen that much, and we never exactly had a “bonding” yet. Well, that rooftop scene could be counted, but still, it was different from the kind of things I did with the others.

“He’s kinda different with you,” Erin observed. “I have yet to figure out why.”

“Oh my God,” I said with an eye-roll. “Don’t over-analyze things.” I decided to just swim away and join Jess, to get away from the two’s craziness. I heard their laughs behind me, but I ignored it. Just like how I ignored the feeling I got every time Stephen refused to talk to me.