Sandcastles

You couldn't have imagined a prettier scene. Sandy white beaches, gorgeous Caribbean ocean, snow white chairs lined up on the sand, and white rose peddles lining the aisle. Even I was slightly amazed at the look of everything. It couldn't have been more perfect. Peeking out around the corner at the sight, I felt my eyes light up. I couldn't have been happier for Sara at that moment in time.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt a hand land on my shoulder. Turning around, my attacker was standing there laughing at me. Jonny looked happy, and even though I was mad at him for scaring me, I was happy too. Punching him slightly in the stomach, I grinned up at him. "Thanks for scaring me half to death, douchebag."

Rubbing his stomach where I hit him, he smiled. "Maybe you should pay closer attention to what's going on around you."

Even though I wanted to yell at him, I couldn't. He was right. I needed to pay closer attention, since everyone else had started to line up for us to walk in. It had been decided quite some time ago that we'd walk in paired. Christine would be with Sharpie, Erin would be with Corey, and I would be walking arm in arm with Toews.

I felt okay. I didn't think that anything was going to get in the way of this. Even though I wasn't with Jonny anymore, things were okay.

Holding his arm out for me, I looped mine through it like it was second nature. Part of me didn't want to look up at him, but I could feel his eyes watching me as we walked into place right behind Christine and Sharpie. As the music started, I felt my arm tighten around his. As if it were second nature, Jonny leaned over and gave me a quick peck on the head. It did make me feel better, and I couldn't help but thinking we should be walking down the aisle as a couple. But it couldn't happen. I had to hold my ground, even if everything else inside of me was screaming to let him back in.

And we were off.

In my mind, there shouldn't be that many people there. For the past two weeks it had just been us...the four of us. Yet, as soon as we walked out and could see the scene, I was shocked. There sat Sara's parents, who had come down for just one day. On the other side sat Kaner's parents as well as his sisters. A few other people filled the seats, but I wasn't entirely sure who they all were, or why they were really there. My eyes even managed to find Amber in the crowd, who wore her scowl with comfort. I couldn't help but grin as her eyes met mine, and I instinctively pulled Jonny's arm tighter into mine.

There ceremony was perfect. Things went off without a hitch. Beautiful didn't even begin to describe the service. I couldn't be happier that Sara let us have our way for once. Normally, Sara didn't budge on things, but that was also a hint that she wanted this just as much as we did.

The moment the "I dos" were over, and the kiss had finished, everyone began clapping. We made our exits and that was that. Sara and Patrick had officially been married in front of friends and family.

"That was gorgeous!" I heard myself chime as I threw my arms around my best friend. I still didn't believe that she was married. In my mind, we would always be those two college girls who got in way too far over our heads. But I had to admit that she wasn't my partner in crime anymore, she was Kaner's.

"Thanks," Sara said, returning my embrace.

With the wedding over, we continued into the hotel where the reception was being held. In all honesty, I like it more than the wedding. Not because it was more laid back, but because my stomach had been screaming at me almost the entire ceremony, and the food was delicious. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Patrick's parents and Sara's came together and got along better than I ever would have expected. Christine and Erin sat with their boys, probably trying to get in their last goodbyes. And then there was me, standing against the wall, watching all the happiness unfold around me.

"Feeling left out?"

Turning my head, I wasn't surprised that Jonny had found me. Then again, it's not like I was desperate to hide or anything. Even though we weren't together anymore, we needed a goodbye too.

"Not really. Just trying to take it all in, you know?"

I watched him nod slowly as his eyes scanned the room. They fell upon the happy couple, who was sitting discussing something. I couldn't help but notice the way Sara's face lit up every single time her eyes met Patrick's. It was sweet...almost to the point it was sickening.

"Yeah."

"I mean, we're never going to be here again, in this place, just having watched a wedding. At least, I hope not. I don't think I can take another Sara wedding."

A smile crossed his lips. I took that as him agreeing. "I'm going to miss you."

Five words. That was all it took. The phrase was simple, yet had so much meaning behind it that I felt like I wanted to sink against the wall. There was no doubt that I would miss him too, but that wasn't the point. It didn't feel like he was telling me he was going to miss me just for the next week; until he got home from the Bahamas. Oh no. It felt like he was telling me he was going to miss me for the rest of his life, as though we'd never see one another again.

There was a chance we wouldn't. Chicago wasn't a small city. Despite the fact I went to every Blackhawks game I could get tickets for, that meant nothing. I wouldn't see him every single day like I had down here. I wouldn't be able to take his hand in mine anytime I wanted, or kiss him when the urge hit me. Even though I wanted to be alone for a while, I didn't want to think that this was the end of us.

"I'm going to miss you too," our eyes met and for a brief moment. Sadness filled his eyes much like they did in mine.

Another light kiss to the forehead. I felt his hand run through my hair slowly. In a way, I didn't want to leave this moment. In a way, I knew that I needed to. Taking his hand in mine, I kissed the back of his hand lightly before lowering both of our hands to our sides.

"I'll see you in Chicago."

And with that, I walked out the door, not knowing if I would ever see Jonathan Toews again or not.