A Little Bit Stronger

Mackenzie sat on the king sized bed, the black silk comforter wadded up under her. Her legs pulled to her chest, wearing one of his old hoodies. Tears streaming down her pale face. "You're never going to change," she sniffled out. Her green eyes locked on his ice blue ones. "and I'm not sure I can deal with that..." she mumbled wiping her tears with the sleeve of the black hoodie. Jimmy glanced up at her, arms folded over his chest. His blue eyes filled to the brim with tears.

"So what are you saying Kenz?"

"I'm saying I don't think I can do this anymore," she sniffed, "you are out of control, the drugs...the drinking...the partying. I just can't take it anymore." before she could even react her picked up a glass vase, which had been home to the roses he had brought her the other evening.

"God damn it Kenz! You knew I did all that when we got together! What the hell changed?" he screamed. But he fell still when he saw the hurt in her eyes.

"You," she mumbled softly, "you changed," he grabbed her arms, pulling her from the bed and tightly into his strong tattooed arms.

"Please Kenz, please don't go."

He begged, but it was too late. There six year relationship, was over.

It doesn't happen over night,
but you turn around and a months gone by.
Everyday without Jimmy, she got a little bit stronger.

Before Mackenzie knew it, six months had gone by. She had gotten her own place, logged an incredible amount of over time at work, and even received a promotion. But she came back form a meeting late one Friday evening to find an envelope on her desk. It was blank, she sat down, pulling the letter out. She unfolded the paper, and a ticket fell out.

Kenz,

The album release party is tonight, and it would mean a lot to Rev if you'd be here. Just think about it okay?

Brian, Zack, Matt & Johnny

She didn't have to give the issue much thought, she went home and changed, heading straight for the party. She pulled up letting the valet take her car as she walked down the red carpet, photographers snapping all kinds of pictures, but suddenly she felt a hand grab at hers, she didn't even flinch, she knew it was Jimmy.

"You came," Jimmy murmured over the crowd as she smiled.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," she said sweetly kissing his cheek.

It was that night that Mackenzie and Jimmy decided to give their relationship one last try.
Everyday their bond got a little bit stronger.

The last thing Mackenzie remembered was the sound of her terrified husband shouting her name, then for whomever would listen to call 911.

She cringed at the ache she felt.

Every square inch of her body.

She could hear the beeping of a heart monitor, while the smell of bleach and death over whelmed her. She let out a sob, because she didn't dare open her eyes, she knew when she did, she would see just what she had lost.

She felt Jimmy's warm lips press to her forehead. "Baby," he stroked softly, "how do you feel?" she opened her eyes slowly to see each and every one of her husbands band mates in her hospital room.

"The baby?" she questioned through a sob as his eyes glazed over with tears. She reached down, rubbing her hands over her now non-existent stomach.

"He didn't make it..." he said softly stroking at her hair line.

"He?" she questioned, Jimmy could only manage a nod as he took her into his arms, and they cried together.

Jimmy and Mackenzie had been married less than two months when they found out they were expecting. But they were elated none the less. A baby was everything they ever wanted.

To say that losing their baby was rough was an understatement.
It nearly killed them both.
It didn't happen over night,
But before they knew it a year had gone by.
Everyday they got a little bit stronger.

It was the morning of December 28th, 2009 when Mackenzie had returned home from a grocery trip.

"Jimmy!" she called walking into the house, Zoe, the couples baby girl resting on one hip, her twin brother, Xander resting on the other. "Jimmy can you help bring in the groceries!" she shouted, but got no response.

It was on January 5th, that we held a private memorial.
That was the single hardest day of my life.

I refused to call it a funeral, it was a celebration of Jimmy's life.

"Hey you," Mackenzie said sweetly taking a seat by the head stone in the warm grass but she stared at the headstone in awe, "I can't believe its been seventeen months," she laid the bunch of flowers down, "the twins are so big, the guys bought Xander his first drum kit, oh and Zoe is getting so big, shes trying to read...I'm taking them on tour with the guys, its something I'm sure you would have wanted, and I know they're excited..." she talked on, just like she did every single week since he had left this earth.

Losing Jimmy was the hardest thing she had ever gone through.
But she knew he had left her two of the most precious gifts life could have ever blessed them with. Zoe and Xander.

She knew her heart would never be the same without him.
But she knew that he made her a better person.
Though he was gone her love for him got a little bit stronger every single day.