The Only Thing I Ask Of You

-Flashback-
"So guys, I just talked to Brian and he said we're all go for the tour with The Used. And, they're going to be bringing their sound guy. His names Bob Bryar. I've heard his stuff and he's actually really good. So, I think this is going to be a great tour," Gerard said, sitting next to Mikey on the couch and pulling him onto his lap.
"When do we get to meet Bob?" I asked, lying on the floor, thinking about my wedding that happened a month ago. Why do I feel like there's something missing? Like someone else is still out there? I thought when I married Jamia, everything would be perfect. I loved her, I did, but now I don't know if I'm supposed to be with her or not. I shook myself out of my thoughts when I heard Gerard speak. "Sorry. What?"
"I said, Bert's bringing him by today so we can all get aquanted."
Mikey shifted and yawned in Gerard's arms. "When will that be?"
"In a few hours. You tired Mikes?" Gerard asked, rubbing Mikey's stomache.
He nodded. "And I'll fall asleep soon if you keep doing that," he said with a tired smile.
Gerard chuckled. "I know. That's why I do it when you're tired, so you can get some sleep. You wanna go to the bunks?"
Mikey shook his head and buried his face in Gerard's neck. "No, comfy."
Gerard smiled and stroked Mikey's hair with his other hand that wasn't on his stomach. "You just wanna cuddle, don't you?"
Mikey nodded and snuggled into Gerard more.
"Come on Mikey Mouse. Up." Gerard picked him up bridal style and turned back to me, Ray and Matt. "I'm gonna lay down with him for a bit 'kay? We'll be out later."
I nodded and rolled over onto my stomach to hide my smile as Gerard brought Mikey to the bunk area and closed the door behind him. I knew that Mikey had the biggest crush on Gerard and that's why he was always cuddling with him. He loved the contact and because Gerard's his best friend and he loves being near him.
Both Ray and I knew how Mikey felt about Gerard. I found it out a few years ago.
Gerard was in New York, visiting an old roommate from college and Mikey had called me up crying, saying how he didn't want to live anymore. I rushed over to the appartment that he shared with Gerard and found him on the floor in the kitchen. He was slumped against the cabnits, crying, with a bottle of vodka, Gerard's Zanex and a knife sitting next to him.
I rushed to his side and took him in my arms, rocking him and trying to sush his sobs. "What is it Mikey? Why do you feel like this?"
"I love him!" he cried. "I love him so much it hurts! All I want is for him to hold me and tell me that he loves me too. I hate myself for the way I feel. I'm sick and disgusting and I don't deserve to live for the way I feel. But I want him so much. I just want it to stop!"
I knew instantly what he was talking about. He was in love with Gerard. "Oh Mikey. I'm so sorry. You should tell him. You know he will understand. He's your brother.What has he always told you? No matter what he will always love you."
He raised his head and looked at me with disbelieving eyes. "How did you know? How did you know that I was talking about Gerard?"
"Well when you said sick and disgusting it wasn't hard to figure out. Mikey, we don't choose who we fall in love with. You know this." I stroked his hair as he started to calm down.
"But Frankie, he's my fucking brother. There must be something wrong with me if I fall in love with my own brother."
"Okay Mikey, I want you to look at it more like this; You and Gerard have always been more than brothers. You've been best friends and best friends fall in love all the time. There's nothing wrong with you at all. It'll be okay. I promise. It'll all be okay." I rocked him as he sobbed into my chest. I knew, one day, something would happen that would send Mikey over the edge. I just never thought it would be love.
Just then, I heard the door open.
"Mikey? I'm home!"
"Gerard!" I called out. "Get in here!"
I heard Gerard's running foot steps as he quickly made his way to the kitchen.
"What the fuck? Mikey?"
Mikey lifted his head and when he saw Gerard, he launched himself at him. "Gee! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" He clung to him and sobbed.
Gerard held Mikey's face in his hands and I could see the tears in his eyes. "Suicide Mikey? Why? Baby what has hurt you so much that you would want to kill yourself? Please don't make me lose you. You know how much I love you."
Mikey fell to his knees and cried, wrapping his arms around himself.
Gerard fell to the ground and held Mikey, rocking him much like I had done. "What is it? Please tell me. Let me fix it. I can't lose you, you're the only thing that keeps me sane anymore. I love you Mikey. I love you so much."
"Gerard, I'm in love. And I can't take it. I-I know that if I tell him I'll lose him. And I can't let that happen. I love him so much it hurts and I just want it to stop. I don't wanna live with the 'what if' and I wouldn't be able to take it if he left. I just want it to end," Mikey sobbed.
Gerard burried his face in his brother's hair and breathed in deeply. "Oh Mikey. I know how you feel. I'm going through the same thing. I know it's hard and I know it hurts but I swear no matter what, I will always be here for you. I promise."
"Don't promise something before you know all the facts," Mikey muttered.
Gerard placed a hand under Mikey's chin and lifted his head up so he was looking at him. But Mikey avoided his gaze.
"Micheal James Way. Look at me."
Mikey shook his head.
"Mikey. Please."
Mikey moved his eyes to Gerard's and looked into them deeply.
"When have you ever known me to break a promise to you? When it comes to you, I do everything in my power to make you happy. Because I love you. You know that."
Mikey nodded and wrapped his arms around his older brother, hugging him tightly. "I love you too, Gee."
I went over to the hugging brothers and wrapped my arms around them both. "I'll leave you guys alone. You'll be okay Mikey. And Gerard, keep him away from that stuff."
He nodded. "Thank you for taking care of him Frankie. I owe you."
I shook my head. "No. You guys are my best friends, ofcourse I'll look after him."
He nodded.
"Thank you Frankie," Mikey whispered.
I rubbed his back. "Anytime Mikey. I'll see you guys later."
That was two years ago and to this day, Mikey still hasn't told Gerard and I never did find out who Gerard's secret love was, but I think I have an idea.
Ray only found out a few months ago. He saw how Mikey looked at Gerard and confronted him about it. He was suprisingly cool about it all.
Matt on the other hand.....
"Why do those two always have to act like that with eachother? It's so disgusting."
Well he's a different story.
"Oh shut up Matt. They're brothers and best friends," I said, getting up from my position on the floor and walking over to the fridge. I wanted an AriZona.
"That's what I mean. They're brothers not lovers for Christ sake. You know, if I find out that something is going on between them, I'll call the cops," he said, walking into the kitchen.
I spun around and shoved him against the counter, gripping the front of his shirt. "You will do no such thing. They're your friends and you'd have them spend life in prison for love?"
"Yeah dude. It's Gerard and Mikey. You've known them forever. Why would you do that to them?" Ray asked.
"'Cause it's wrong! It's gross. They're brothers and both guys. You've gotta be sick and twisted to be in love with your brother especially if you're another guy. Now get the fuck off me Iero."
"Or what?" I growled. I felt Ray's shoulder against mine and I knew he was there to back me up 100%.
"Frankie, let him go."
I looked over Matt's shoulder and saw Mikey standing in the doorway to the bunk area. I gave Matt one last glare and released my grip from his shirt.
He pulled at his collor and shoved me backwards, rolling his shoulders.
"Jackass," I muttered, turning away.
I felt something go through my hair and realised it was Matt's fingers when he gripped my hair and tugged, making me yelp out in pain. He wrapped his arm around my neck and put me in the sleeper hold. "M-Matt," I chocked out. I started to see black spots in front of my eyes.
"Gerard!"
All of a sudden, the pressure was off my throat and I was on my knees, coughing. I looked up and saw that Gerard and Ray had Matt pinned against the the fridge.
"What the fuck is your problem Matt?" Gerard asked, struggling to keep Matt's arms pinned.
"That short fuck started it! I said one thing and he tried to fucking kill me!" Matt yelled.
"What did you say?" Gerard asked.
Matt said nothing.
Gerard slamed his hand on the fridge, making a loud banging noise and making Matt jump. "What the fuck did you say?!"
Matt glared at Gerard.
"He said that if he found out if anything was going on with you and Mikey, he would call the cops on you guys," Ray said, pushing Matt back down as he tried to lunge at Gerard.
"You mean romanticly?" Gerard asked.
Ray nodded.
"Oh for Christ sakes. That's what this is about? 'Cause I like to hold my brother and cuddle with him? He's my best friend and I like knowing he's there next to me so I can keep him safe. About two years ago, Mikey had a sucide scare. He almost killed himself. If Frankie wasn't there and if I didn't get home when I did, he wouln't be here right now. I don't want that to happen again. And besides, I've always liked being close to him. I really don't see what the big deal is. And we're your friends, why would you do something like that to us?" Gerard asked, throwing his hands in the air in disbeliefe.
"Because you guys acting like that towards eachother is just gross! It's not how brothers should act. You guys are abnormal and maybe you should be locked away!" Matt said, squirming to get out of Ray's hold.
I looked over at Mikey and saw that he was shaking with quiet sobs. "Gerard," I whispered.
"What?" he said, turning towards me.
I nodded in Mikey's direction. He looked over at Mikey then slamed Matt against the fridge again. "Take it back," he hissed.
Matt smiled. "Aw. Is poor little Mikey feeling insecure?"
Gerard reeled his fist back and punched Matt. "Take it back!"
Matt spit some blood on the floor and shook his head. "No. He needs to know that he can't act like that or people might kill him for being a pansy who wants his older brother."
"Hey!"
I looked over at the door and saw a big guy with blonde hair and a short well kept beard standing beside Bert in the doorway of the bus. He walked over to us and grabbed onto Matt's shoulder. "Who the hell do you think you are? What right do you have to tell someone how they should act? They're brothers. Family. They can act however they want to with each other 'cause thats how they grew up."
Matt glared at him and spit a glob of blood and spit in his face.
He didn't flinch. He just grabbed the back of Matt's shirt and drug him over to the door, throwing him out of the bus. "Come back when your heads not so far up your ass." He shut the door and locked it behind him. Then he lifted up the sleeve of sweat shirt and tried to wipe off the blood/spit, but he was just smearing it around. I grab a tissue and walked over to him. "You're never going to get it off like that. Here, let me help. Close your eyes."
He did as I instructed and I got the bloody spit off his face in no time. "There you go. You can open your eyes now."
He opened his eyes and for a second, I forgot how to breathe. He had the most gorgeous, bright blue eyes I had ever seen. "H-Hi."
He smiled real big and I found myself smiling right back. "Hi. I-I'm Bob. Bob Bryar." He held out his hand for me to shake.
"I'm Frank Iero. You can call me Frankie if you want. Everyone else does," I added quickly, not wanting to seem like a girl. I grabbed his outstretched hand and felt a shock wave go up my arm and through my entire body.
"Frankie. I like that. It seems like it would deffinetly fit." He kept a firm grip on my hand, not shaking it, just holding it in his.
I felt my smile grow wider and I felt like I had found something my soul had been searching for.