The Story of Rage and Love

Your stomach fell through your chest, and hit the ground as soon as you heard Billie's name. It was him, that's why the voice seemed so familiar. For a second, you felt like you were about to cry, but erased that emotion with a huge amount of anger that swept over your body.
"I know, I know.. I said I'd spy on her for you, and I did , for a while.. But then, I dont know, I couldn't do it anymore." Billie Joe said.
"And what about the past seven months, Billie? What about that? You told me she broke it off!" By this point the other guy was yelling.
"I know! I know- but I couldn't end it. I-I think I'm in love with her.."
There was a silence for a couple seconds, then the other guy said, "You fucked with the wrong person, Billie. You have no idea how much power I have. And if I can't have her, no one can.."
With that, you heard the man open the door and walk out angrily. When he got far away enough, you looked around the corner, and saw Adam standing at the elevator.
You stood there with a shocked look on your face, your mouth wide open. There's no way Adam loved you. If anything, he hated you. And Billie. Billie was a liar. The only reason he ever met you, was to spy on you. The whole beginning of your relationship, was a complete lie. You were so angry, you almost wanted to run through that door, and punch him as hard as possible. The months you spent with him felt depleted. The whole experience was empty. Nothing seemed real anymore. Not if what you had with Billie Joe wasn't. All of the sudden, nothing mattered anymore. You contemplated your options, then threw all reason out the window, and turned around the corner, without an idea of what you were gonna do when you saw him. You ran in through the door, and saw him with his head down, crying. But that didn't stop you. He looked up in shock, but you spoke before he could.
"I cant believe you.. I-I hate you. How dare you spy on me!" By now you were yelling through a face full of tears, "You liar.. You LIAR! I hate you so much," your volume dyed down to where you were whimpering, "I hate you.."
Billie got up quickly. "Sage! Sage, I-I.. You dont mean that, you dont."
"Fuck you- How would you know? You were TOLD to meet me. This whole thing was a favor so your band could get a deal? Was it? Tell me.. Just tell me.." You could hardly breath. By the end of you last sentence you were sobbing uncontrollably, and had whispered the last statement through your broken heart.
But he was silent. He had been crying also, you could see the tears still in his eyes. He just stared at you. Until he did something he'd never done before. He started yelling at you. "If this whole thing was a favor, why would I have fucked myself over?! I chose to stay with you, and almost LOST the album! When I agreed to spy on you, I didn't even know you. What the fuck was I supposed to do, Sage?! What would you have done? Its not like I knew you, it's not like I knew I was going to fall in love with some girl Adam was obsessed with."
He walked over to you and pressed his right cheek on your left, and cupped the other side of your face with his hand.
But you pushed him away. "How long, then? How long were you spying on me, Billie?!"
"Only a couple of months. But Adam really didnt know about the last seven months." he said pleadingly. "But believe me.. I never lied about loving you. Never."
Your eyes were pouring with tears. You didn't know whether you could believe that he ever loved you. If he did, he would have told you.
"I wanna love you.. But I don't know if I can. Not any more.." You said desolately.
"If this little of a setback is enough to make you question your love, I'm not sure if there ever was any. Do realize the amount of jeopardy I put the band in just to be with you? Do even know how much I love you?! God, Sage.. I don't know if you ever will.."
Tears streamed down your face. There was no way this was happening. You would have expected this from anyone else. Anybody else besides Billie Joe. He was the one real thing in your life. Your throat felt swollen, and you couldn't swallow your pride, let alone your words.
"Maybe not." You said those words without even thinking. Even when you finished the statement, you had shocked yourself. Billie Joe just stared at you in disbelief. You could see tears swelling up in his eyes. Then he looked angrily towards the floor, and looked up at you with more fury in his eyes then you had ever seen before.
"Fine!" He yelled, "You dont wanna love me.. I'm so sorry I wasted your precious time!" By now he was yelling so loud, it hurt not only your heart, but your ears. "Maybe your right. I'm a liar, and you hate me. And that's just what were gonna be. I guess this is the end of something that barely even got started.."
And then he turned around, and left. You fell against the wall, and rested your forehead on it. Just breathing became difficult. You felt like Billie Joe just reached inside of you, and ripped out the very place your heart rested. He took away the sense of calm that youd finally found the moment you found him. Then you just let go. You let yourself succumb to the pain, and just gave up. After all that had happened, you found yourself completely numb. You had been stung too many times for it to sting anymore. Nothing hurt anymore. Your eyes found themselves completely dry. And your heart found itself forgotten and just passed by. The feeling of failure made itself at home, within your sunken soul. So this was what it felt like. This is the bitter feeling you get when you find yourself an end. You had failed. Not just with Billie, but with yourself. Because now.. You were alone once again.
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The ride to your apartment was blurry. The buildings passed by as if animated. You barely noticed when you finally reached home.
When you walked in the front door, you realized just how long you had been gone. Brittany and Sam had already gone to bed. The equipment was set up, as if they had been waiting for you. You had lost your two best friends in the world. They were everything to you a year ago.. And now you barely spoke to them.
What had you done? You lost everything. You lost your best friends, and your true love.
It was an empty feeling. Like no matter what you did, you could never fill the gaping whole inside. And as the minutes passed, the whole just got bigger and bigger.
Then you heard someone in the kitchen shuffling through the cupboard. You sat up, and looked to see who it was. It was Brittany. When you sat up, you must have made noise, cause she dropped the plate she was holding.
"Fuck," She muttered to herself. Then she looked up and gave you an apologetic look. "So.. When did you get back. You missed rehearsal. Again." She said that with a hint of disdain in her tone.
"I got back like thirty minutes ago.. Sorry about that." You said.
"No problem.. We're used to it by now." She said, giving you a rude glare as she spoke.
Normally you would have said something rude back, but you were out of words to say. Brittany used to be your best friend. And you no longer wanted to just put up with her, like you had been doing for over half a year. You no longer cared.
When you said nothing back, she got a look of worry on her face. She walked over to where you had your bed, and stared at you with confusion. "What's the matter with you?" She asked.
But you couldn't answer. All you could do was cry. When she saw your eyes tearing up, she actually ran over to you, and gave you a hug. This shocked you, but you hugged her back all the same. She was, after all, your best friend.