The Story of Rage and Love

As the door slammed in front of you, so did any hope that you would ever talk to him again. You stared blankly at the knob, secretly wishing you had the nerve to run after him. He was so different tonight, nothing like you remembered him. You weren't sure if that was a good thing or not. You loved the old Billie, you had been in love with the old Billie Joe for almost three years. But this was unlike anything you had ever experienced with him before. There was something about him.. That made you want more. That made you need more.
It was good minute before you broke your stare at that door and started walking away. During the cab ride home, the only thing that you thought about was Billie. His voice, his presence, the feelings he stirred up inside you; It was all happening so fast you couldn't even remember why you had broken up with him in the first place.
Your stomach lurched back and forth as you replayed the kiss in your mind. It had felt so surreal you were trying to convince yourself that it had actually happened. Why had he kissed you? The whole thing was so sudden and unexpected that Billie not only caught you off guard, but unnerved a huge amount of emotions that were now surging through you like electricity. As far as you were concerned, you were not a good person. You hardly deserved a friendly "Hello", let alone a passionate kiss. You had said things to him that a weaker person would collapse beneath. But not Billie. He was strong, and could hold even the most hurtful words on his shoulders without stumbling a bit. But he knew what he was doing. He was trying to prove a point. He'd make you weak..make you want him back, and then hes shoot you down just as you had done to him. It was a classic case of revenge, and unfortunately, it was working..
Once inside your apartment, you quickly threw your high heels off and collapsed on the couch. You let out a long sigh and tried to control you urges to call Billie Joe.
"Ugh!" You said loudly, throwing a pillow at the clock that read; 12:01. What were you thinking?! Even if you called him, he would never take you back.. That was his plan the whole time. That was why he invited you, and that was why he kissed you. He wanted to drive you insane, and he knew that after tonight you would begin to slowly lose your mind.
You finally got the nerve to pick up the phone, but not to call Billie.
"Danee!" You blurted out when she answered the phone.
"God.. What?" She said, yawning. "Sage- it's midnight, and I have to wakeup early tomorrow.."
"I know.. I'm sorry. I just..I needed to talk to you.." You said. "I'm sorry for leaving you tonight.."
"Yeah! I know!" She said sarcastically.
"Uh, yeah, sorry about that.."
"It's okay", She said, "Mike gave me a ride home. But what the hell were you doing?"
"I kissed Billie," You said guiltily, and waited for a response.
"You what?!" She almost yelled. "How- Why.. How did this happen?" She asked, searching for words.
"Well..that's not what really the worst part," You admitted. "I-ah.. I think I want him back."
"Ugh! Sage- What the hell are you thinking!" She said exasperated. You only want him back because you can't have him! What are you gonna do when things go back to normal? I hate to say it..but you get bored incredibly easily."
"Hey; Thats not true, I never got bored with Billie." You said in your defense. "Billie and I broke up for perfectly legitimate reasons."
"Yeah, and you think after what you said to him, he's gonna be too excited about the idea of reconciliation? I highly doubt it!" She said reasonably.
"I know.. I know- I'm.." You paused for a second wondering which words could possibly explain how much you truly missed Billie, "I'm.. a horrible person," Was all you could manage to get out. You silently waited for a response. And you got one in hearing Danee groan in frustration.
"Sage!" She sighed, "Do you have to make things so difficult? You already hurt him, do you really want to do it again?"
"No! No I-" You stopped for a second, trying desperately to gather your thoughts and rational, "I would never do that again.."
There was a long break without a word from Danee, then she sighed once more, and said, "Alright.. I believe you. But this better be for real." She ceased for a moment, and then added, "What can I do?"
"Well.. Just set it up.. But- it'll be an accident, well- we'll pretend it is, and, you know.. We'll get back together."
"Hmm- I had no idea it was gonna be that easy," She said sarcastically.
"Ugh! Just- Do it, okay! I know he still feels it.." You said the last sentence under your breath, replaying the kiss in your mind once again. "People don't just kiss like that for no reason! Why would he have kissed me if he didn't feel the same? It just.. It felt so right."
"What do you mean, 'If he hadn't felt the same'? You only started feeling like this after tonight," Danee said pointing out the obvious.
You bit your lip and tried to convince yourself not to call him. It was a bad idea and you knew it, but that had never stopped you before. "I can't let him go again.. Not if I can stop it this time," You said determinedly. You heard Danee sigh on the other line.
"Alright. I'll do what I can. She said.
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One week later, she still hadn't done a thing.
"Danee! Please! I swear it'll be different this time!" You said, still in the process of convincing her you were sincere in your attempts to get back with Billie Joe.
After hanging up, you decided to take things into your own hands. You dialed his number and waited patiently. Then you heard his voice say, "Hey, leave a message," And there was a beep. You quickly hung up, and were actually happy that he hadn't answered. But not even two seconds later, you heard the phone ringing.
"Hello?" You asked nervously.
"Hey gorgeous," you heard Billie say.
"Oh.. Uh.. Hey," You stuttered quietly. You listened intently and heard Billie laugh.
"Sage, we've known each other for almost three years, you don't have to be nervous around me anymore," He joked.
"Yeah, I know.. I'm not." You smiled when you heard him laughing, it was something you missed.
"So, whats up?" He asked.
"Oh.. I was just calling..to..to see if Mike was there," You blurted out, loosing all nerve.
He laughed again, "Then why'd you call my phone?"
"Shit!" You whispered to yourself. He chuckled once more. "No- I mean, I meant to call you, but it's about Mike."
"Oh," He said disappointedly, "Okay. What's going on?"
"Danee might like Mike more then a friend.." You said carefully. Danee was going to kill you when she found out what you were saying. "I think maybe they'd be a great couple.."
"Seriously? Fuck, Mike is such a pussy. He's like in love with her," Billie said. But he can't get the courage to just ask her out."
"No way!" You said. You were gonna milk this for all it was worth and more. "Well, we should all four go out to dinner, and then you and I can leave, and they"d be alone.."
"That sounds good, I'll talk to him. Have Danee over at your place tomorrow night, and I'll come by to get you guys."
"Okay," You said, acting like you didn't care. "I'll see you then."
After hanging up, you ran to your closet and immediately began picking out your outfit. This time when he saw you, he was gonna be a million times more blown away then before. You wanted to make him want you as much as you wanted him.