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The Story of Rage and Love
Always
Before he left, he didn't say a word. You watched him go with disdain, and he just quickly dressed, glancing at you from time to time. Then right before he closed the door, he said, "I hope you learn how to be an adult sometime soon.. When you do, let me know."
He bit his lip and stared at you with desire, to which you covered up nervous tears by glaring back. And then he left you to replay the most confusing night of your life over and over again in your mind.
Somewhere in the middle you panicked. Billie scared you with his actions, you didn't want to be just a partner for the night. As you stared at your skin, you remembered where it had been and what it had done. It made you feel polluted from the inside out. You turned on the water in your shower to the hottest it could go, and got in when it was still cold, just ridding yourself of the unclean feeling that had overcome your body. The bacteria that you could see climbing about your corpse made you ailing, and the memory of Billie's face when you told him to leave was haunting every part of your mind. His words revealed the most broken of people, and you couldn't save him any more then you wanted to.
The water slowly began to warm up as you remembered every second of it. The moment it ended, you laid there with hatred for yourself, and must have accidentally took it out on Billie.
"I can't look at you.." You had said, as you pulled away when he tried to hug you. He looked taken aback, and stared at you in longing and detestation at the same time. You had sat up, putting your chin at the bridge of your knees and closing your eyes. You felt Billie moving behind you, and then his hand gently touch your shoulder. You quickly jolted your side, and moved away from his touch. And then he stood up abruptly, and got dressed with rage.
And now you were back to reality. The water was rapidly burning your skin at contact, but you ignored the pain; Sooner or later you would adapt to the heat.
You sat down in the corner of the bathtub as the water pounded against your arms and legs, and reached over to clog the drain. But as you continued to ignore the pain, you also ignored the time. Your eyes slowly closed and you sat, curled in a ball, lost in your thoughts and past.
The time flew by. You weren't sure how long you were there, you must have fallen asleep. But the next thing you knew, the tub was flooded and water was pouring all over the tile floor.
You sat up quickly in shock, but someone already had you by the arms. Billie reached over to the faucet and quickly turned it off, then pulled you up by the arms and wrapped a towel around your torso. Unsure of why when he touched you, it vastly hurt; You looked around in complete shock, the floor was flooded with water, your skin was bright red, and it was burning painfully.
"Oh- Oh my God... Make it stop!" You almost yelled as you began tarring at your arm. Billie ran to the sink and held a cloth under the cold water for a second, before dabbing your arms and legs with it, relieving the burn slightly. You winced as you caught sight of your legs, which happened to be even brighter then your arms were.
You avoided eye contact with him as he lightly ran the cloth all over your skin, and didn't answer him when he asked mumbling, "What the hell were you thinking?"
After a second, he reached under your knees with one arm, behind your neck with the other, gently picked you up and carried you into the bedroom. Billie set you down carefully on the bed, making sure to cover you with the towel the entire time, and began dabbing your skin tenderly once again with the cloth as he sat down beside you.
Once the shock finally wore off, you grabbed the towel from him and began doing it yourself. "Thank you," You said sincerely when you at last got the courage to look him in the eyes.
He sighed, and then smiled slightly. "You're showing," He said as he reached over and pulled the towel up to cover your chest. You quickly pulled it tighter around yourself in embarrassment, blushing immensely. He shook head as he looked away. "You mind telling me what just happened?" Billie asked when he finally looked back at you.
"I-I dont know.." You said quietly.
"Last night you came to ME, remember?" You nodded slightly. "And you promised we weren't gonna have to go through this anymore," Billie added.
"Yeah.." You almost whispered.
He stood up and looked at you angrily for the first time since he arrived. "Is that all you're gonna say to me?! Come on Sage; I've always chased you, haven't I? I've always told you I loved you. I always take you back. When I wake up in the morning, who do you think is the only one I ever think about? It's you. It's always you."
Suddenly you felt your eyes watering up slightly, be resisted the urge to cry.
He walked back to the door, and put his jacket on roughly through all his rage. But he walked back to where you sat, and looked down at you with contempt. He reached down and cupped your cheek, pushing your chin up with his fingers so that you were looking at him. "Speak up, Sage.. Don't you have anything to say?"
When you didn't verbalize anything, he bit his lip and nodded, then turned to leave again. But then your voice found the courage to break through your lips.
"Wait!" You called as you stood up, pulling the towel closer around your body. Billie turned to look at you and waited. "I do have something to say-" You said as you walked over to where he was standing. "I'm not sure what happened to me last night. I got scared. But I swear, I never wake up without you on my mind. And every day you're not here, I pretend I can hear your voice and it makes the minutes a little easier. If you could only see the mess you leave behind every time you go, you'd understand."
But Billie stopped your little rant, and interrupted you by saying, "You say you love me, but you don't show it. You say you love where we are and what we've become, but you always run away. I think I've given you enough chances to prove it to me by now, and you still haven't."
"Billie- What will?! I can't attempt to prove something to you that you don't want to believe. What more do you want from me?! I said I was sorry, I've told you I love you, I forgave you for your night with Brittany," Billie winced at those words, but you continued, "I forgave you, when are you gonna forgive me?"
He stopped for a second. He didn't move, he just stared at you.
You started shivering as the residue water on your body slowly began to dry. Your arms started shaking and your teeth started chattering, but still you stood there waiting for Billie's response.
Billie Joe laughed and took off his coat, wrapping it around you. "Cold?" He asked when you had it all the way on.
"Slightly.." You said, grinning.
Then he moved close to you, and pulled you into a tight hug. You could feel his hot breath on your neck, and it made your hair stand on end. "We'll be okay," He whispered. "Everything will be alright.."
He bit his lip and stared at you with desire, to which you covered up nervous tears by glaring back. And then he left you to replay the most confusing night of your life over and over again in your mind.
Somewhere in the middle you panicked. Billie scared you with his actions, you didn't want to be just a partner for the night. As you stared at your skin, you remembered where it had been and what it had done. It made you feel polluted from the inside out. You turned on the water in your shower to the hottest it could go, and got in when it was still cold, just ridding yourself of the unclean feeling that had overcome your body. The bacteria that you could see climbing about your corpse made you ailing, and the memory of Billie's face when you told him to leave was haunting every part of your mind. His words revealed the most broken of people, and you couldn't save him any more then you wanted to.
The water slowly began to warm up as you remembered every second of it. The moment it ended, you laid there with hatred for yourself, and must have accidentally took it out on Billie.
"I can't look at you.." You had said, as you pulled away when he tried to hug you. He looked taken aback, and stared at you in longing and detestation at the same time. You had sat up, putting your chin at the bridge of your knees and closing your eyes. You felt Billie moving behind you, and then his hand gently touch your shoulder. You quickly jolted your side, and moved away from his touch. And then he stood up abruptly, and got dressed with rage.
And now you were back to reality. The water was rapidly burning your skin at contact, but you ignored the pain; Sooner or later you would adapt to the heat.
You sat down in the corner of the bathtub as the water pounded against your arms and legs, and reached over to clog the drain. But as you continued to ignore the pain, you also ignored the time. Your eyes slowly closed and you sat, curled in a ball, lost in your thoughts and past.
The time flew by. You weren't sure how long you were there, you must have fallen asleep. But the next thing you knew, the tub was flooded and water was pouring all over the tile floor.
You sat up quickly in shock, but someone already had you by the arms. Billie reached over to the faucet and quickly turned it off, then pulled you up by the arms and wrapped a towel around your torso. Unsure of why when he touched you, it vastly hurt; You looked around in complete shock, the floor was flooded with water, your skin was bright red, and it was burning painfully.
"Oh- Oh my God... Make it stop!" You almost yelled as you began tarring at your arm. Billie ran to the sink and held a cloth under the cold water for a second, before dabbing your arms and legs with it, relieving the burn slightly. You winced as you caught sight of your legs, which happened to be even brighter then your arms were.
You avoided eye contact with him as he lightly ran the cloth all over your skin, and didn't answer him when he asked mumbling, "What the hell were you thinking?"
After a second, he reached under your knees with one arm, behind your neck with the other, gently picked you up and carried you into the bedroom. Billie set you down carefully on the bed, making sure to cover you with the towel the entire time, and began dabbing your skin tenderly once again with the cloth as he sat down beside you.
Once the shock finally wore off, you grabbed the towel from him and began doing it yourself. "Thank you," You said sincerely when you at last got the courage to look him in the eyes.
He sighed, and then smiled slightly. "You're showing," He said as he reached over and pulled the towel up to cover your chest. You quickly pulled it tighter around yourself in embarrassment, blushing immensely. He shook head as he looked away. "You mind telling me what just happened?" Billie asked when he finally looked back at you.
"I-I dont know.." You said quietly.
"Last night you came to ME, remember?" You nodded slightly. "And you promised we weren't gonna have to go through this anymore," Billie added.
"Yeah.." You almost whispered.
He stood up and looked at you angrily for the first time since he arrived. "Is that all you're gonna say to me?! Come on Sage; I've always chased you, haven't I? I've always told you I loved you. I always take you back. When I wake up in the morning, who do you think is the only one I ever think about? It's you. It's always you."
Suddenly you felt your eyes watering up slightly, be resisted the urge to cry.
He walked back to the door, and put his jacket on roughly through all his rage. But he walked back to where you sat, and looked down at you with contempt. He reached down and cupped your cheek, pushing your chin up with his fingers so that you were looking at him. "Speak up, Sage.. Don't you have anything to say?"
When you didn't verbalize anything, he bit his lip and nodded, then turned to leave again. But then your voice found the courage to break through your lips.
"Wait!" You called as you stood up, pulling the towel closer around your body. Billie turned to look at you and waited. "I do have something to say-" You said as you walked over to where he was standing. "I'm not sure what happened to me last night. I got scared. But I swear, I never wake up without you on my mind. And every day you're not here, I pretend I can hear your voice and it makes the minutes a little easier. If you could only see the mess you leave behind every time you go, you'd understand."
But Billie stopped your little rant, and interrupted you by saying, "You say you love me, but you don't show it. You say you love where we are and what we've become, but you always run away. I think I've given you enough chances to prove it to me by now, and you still haven't."
"Billie- What will?! I can't attempt to prove something to you that you don't want to believe. What more do you want from me?! I said I was sorry, I've told you I love you, I forgave you for your night with Brittany," Billie winced at those words, but you continued, "I forgave you, when are you gonna forgive me?"
He stopped for a second. He didn't move, he just stared at you.
You started shivering as the residue water on your body slowly began to dry. Your arms started shaking and your teeth started chattering, but still you stood there waiting for Billie's response.
Billie Joe laughed and took off his coat, wrapping it around you. "Cold?" He asked when you had it all the way on.
"Slightly.." You said, grinning.
Then he moved close to you, and pulled you into a tight hug. You could feel his hot breath on your neck, and it made your hair stand on end. "We'll be okay," He whispered. "Everything will be alright.."