Feel the Love of Her Caress, She Will Be Your Living End
008
When I got there, I just decided to skip it. Fuck going back there, fuck it! I fucking hate that hell hole. I decided to go to Grooves, even if Lita wouldn't recognize me, I needed something to take my mind off of everything.
It took about 15 minutes to reach it, but I was happy as ever. The smell of incense, candles and a hint of marijuana made me even happier. Grooves was the same. Lita looked up from the register and her eyes brightened. She ran up to me, dragged me to the back room and forced me on the employees couch.
"Cherie." The room had an scary silence after she said that. I was afraid of saying yes, for some stupid reason. I looked away, taking in the place. This was our back room, the couch of happiness, the lava lamps, the beads, the candles, incense. A real hippie's den.
"Lita...I'm sorry." I said and ran out. Grooves was a bad idea. I just couldn't do this to everyone. I may as well leave.
As I ran, I passed my old house. It looked nothing like it used to. It was all...Soc-y. I sighed and threw a rock through the window. Serves them right!
I finally just headed to the Curtis house. Cynthia would probably be there with Dally, Ponyboy and Johnny. When I got there, I knocked. It was weird not barging in and yelling to Laurie, or trying to tackle Steve. Or yelling at Cynthia and Ponyboy for 'makin' babies'. Or kissing Sodapop...
Cynthia answered the door and smiled. I wanted to smile too, but I was fighting back the urge to cry. She walked out, closing the door behind her and lead me to the back of the house.
"I have something to tell you." I said and she nodded.
"I'm leaving Tulsa. I can't do this anymore. Tell everyone I still love them." She looked stunned.
"ARE YOU INSANE?!" She yelled, slapping me across the face. This was a first. Cynthia never hurt me, because she knew I could hurt her back just as bad. She also had a lot of respect for me, just as I did for her.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, holding her hands to the house.
"The note you left, Sodapop's been crying every night. He needs you, Cherie. He wants to die."
At that last sentence, I felt my heart break. I wish I could kill Ashlen. I know I could, but how much jail time would I go in for? So much.
"Cynthia, I need to leave Tulsa. Sodapop has to move on. I can't stay here. Ponyboy hates me, so does Steve. No one knows who I am. If everyone's losing sleep over me, there's no point to me staying. I can't tell them who I really am, because...I just can't." Was all I said before I walked away.
"That's because you're afraid. You're just a big wimp, Cheryl. A big fucking wimp! Cherie would've kicked their asses, and been here to comfort everyone. Fuck you Cheryl, you aren't Cherie. You're someone different. Fine, leave Tulsa, no one wants you here anyways!" She yelled to me.
I reached into my pocket, and threw the ring Sodapop gave me. She looked surprised.
"Tell him, it's over." I said and felt the tears slide down my face as I walked away...
It took about 15 minutes to reach it, but I was happy as ever. The smell of incense, candles and a hint of marijuana made me even happier. Grooves was the same. Lita looked up from the register and her eyes brightened. She ran up to me, dragged me to the back room and forced me on the employees couch.
"Cherie." The room had an scary silence after she said that. I was afraid of saying yes, for some stupid reason. I looked away, taking in the place. This was our back room, the couch of happiness, the lava lamps, the beads, the candles, incense. A real hippie's den.
"Lita...I'm sorry." I said and ran out. Grooves was a bad idea. I just couldn't do this to everyone. I may as well leave.
As I ran, I passed my old house. It looked nothing like it used to. It was all...Soc-y. I sighed and threw a rock through the window. Serves them right!
I finally just headed to the Curtis house. Cynthia would probably be there with Dally, Ponyboy and Johnny. When I got there, I knocked. It was weird not barging in and yelling to Laurie, or trying to tackle Steve. Or yelling at Cynthia and Ponyboy for 'makin' babies'. Or kissing Sodapop...
Cynthia answered the door and smiled. I wanted to smile too, but I was fighting back the urge to cry. She walked out, closing the door behind her and lead me to the back of the house.
"I have something to tell you." I said and she nodded.
"I'm leaving Tulsa. I can't do this anymore. Tell everyone I still love them." She looked stunned.
"ARE YOU INSANE?!" She yelled, slapping me across the face. This was a first. Cynthia never hurt me, because she knew I could hurt her back just as bad. She also had a lot of respect for me, just as I did for her.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked, holding her hands to the house.
"The note you left, Sodapop's been crying every night. He needs you, Cherie. He wants to die."
At that last sentence, I felt my heart break. I wish I could kill Ashlen. I know I could, but how much jail time would I go in for? So much.
"Cynthia, I need to leave Tulsa. Sodapop has to move on. I can't stay here. Ponyboy hates me, so does Steve. No one knows who I am. If everyone's losing sleep over me, there's no point to me staying. I can't tell them who I really am, because...I just can't." Was all I said before I walked away.
"That's because you're afraid. You're just a big wimp, Cheryl. A big fucking wimp! Cherie would've kicked their asses, and been here to comfort everyone. Fuck you Cheryl, you aren't Cherie. You're someone different. Fine, leave Tulsa, no one wants you here anyways!" She yelled to me.
I reached into my pocket, and threw the ring Sodapop gave me. She looked surprised.
"Tell him, it's over." I said and felt the tears slide down my face as I walked away...