Me and My Boys

I crept into the crowded ice hockey rink right before the game started. Camille immediately jumped up and waved me over. I adjusted my baseball cap nervously and repeatedly apologized as I had to squeeze by a few parents to get to where she was sitting. She was crammed onto the front row of the bleachers with a few other moms, and one dad, and a few people looked at me strangely as I sat down beside her and hugged her with one arm.

“Hey, so I’m not late, am I?” I asked, trying to find something to say as I squirmed under the gaze of several parents.

“No, they just started warming up. That’s Jack,” she said, pointing to the boy donning number 18, “and that’s Jimmy,” she said, pointing to the boy skating along side Jack, donning the number 36.

“Did they purposely pick those numbers?” I asked with a smile.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“Eighteen times two is thirty six, isn’t it?” I asked, and Camille grinned.

“Yes it is. They don’t know their times tables, but when Jack said he wanted eighteen, Jimmy immediately said he wanted thirty six. I don’t think they realize that Jack’s number doubled is Jimmy’s,” Camille explained, and I chuckled. The two boys split apart, and each one took a wing. Jack was left, Jimmy was right, and they passed with eerie precision, but it wasn’t uncommon to me after seeing the Sedin twins at work. The game started shortly after, and the parents stopped staring me down and started watching. I found myself getting into the game, and I even jumped up and cheered with Camille as Jimmy scored a goal (assisted by Jack of course). The boys’ team, the Panthers, won the game 3-1, and Camille was grinning from ear to ear as the two little dynamos trotted out of the locker room, hauling their bulky equipment bags.

“Here, lemme get that for you,” I said, bending down and taking the bags from the boys. They grinned broadly at me before taking off to join some of their teammates at the snack bar.

“Jeeze, they are just incredible,” I said to Camille once they were out of earshot.

“You really think so?” Camille asked, smiling softly as her boys started roughhousing with some of the other boys on their team.

“Absolutely. I’m telling you, if they’re this good when they’re seven, and they continue to progress, they’ll easily go first round in the draft,” I said confidently. Camille’s smile faltered, and I raised my eyebrows.

“Right…the draft,” she muttered, and I put down the equipment bags.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, and she bit her bottom lip. Her face was pained, and I placed a comforting hand on her lower arm.

“I don’t know if I could bear the thought of them being separated…” Camille said quietly. I chuckled.

“The Sedins are still together, aren’t they?” I asked.

“You’re right,” Camille said, her bright smile returning instantly.

*A Month Later*

Zach pulled out of his driveway and waved happily from his SUV before driving away. Something in my heart sank, but I waved back, and so did Jack and Jimmy. Zach and I were dating casually, keeping it as G-rated as possible for the sake of my sons, and I was going to miss his company. More than anything, he had become my best friend over the weeks, and Jack and Jimmy loved all of the attention Zach gave them. He played video games with them, and built lego towers, and taught them some hockey techniques, and they had lots of fun. Jack and Jimmy immediately began throwing snow at each other, and as the late January air became a little bit colder, I snuggled further into my coat, and tugged my toque down so that it covered my ears a little more. This wasn’t the first away game Zach had gone on since our relationship began, but it was harder for me to say goodbye this time, and I wasn’t exactly sure why.

That night I lay in my bed and stared up at the ceiling, wondering what Zach was up to. He had a 5:45 flight out of Newark to Anaheim, and he probably had landed by now. I traced my fingers aimlessly against the fabric of my sheets and let my mind wander. I thought of Zach’s smiling chocolate eyes, and the way his lips twitched when he tried not to laugh at something crazy the boys had said. I thought about how sweet his lips were against mine, and how nice it felt to have his fingers brush through my hair. I jolted out of my dream-like state when my phone began to ring however.

“Hello?” I croaked, surprised that I had begun to fall asleep.

“Oh jeeze, did I wake you up?” Zach asked. I felt a grin spread across my face like wildfire, and I sat up in bed.

“No, I was just daydreaming,” I said, running a hand through my hair.

“I miss you,” Zach said, and I felt myself blush deeply.

“I miss you too Zach,” I admitted, licking my lips nervously. I knew it was dangerous to become so attached to a man, especially because of the boys, but I couldn’t help it.

“So what are you doing?” Zach asked. I could imagine him lounging out on the bed in his hotel room, Patrik Elias or David Clarkson occupying the bed across from him, on the phone with their wife.

“Just relaxing. The boys were absolutely off the wall tonight,” I laughed. I had barely gotten them to bed, they had been so hyper.

“Oh jeeze…that sounds like fun,” Zach laughed, but his voice wasn’t laced with sarcasm. I felt something in my chest skitter nervously, and a red flag popped up in my mind. If he was getting this attached to my kids, I was positive they were getting attached to him. I couldn’t let that happen. Not because he was a bad guy, but because I didn’t want the boys to have to suffer through a breakup with me.

“Zach…” I said.

“Yeah?” he replied.

“I have to go,” I said, quickly hanging up. He called me back, but I sent the call to voicemail. The sinking feeling in my chest returned, and tears streamed down my face as I drifted off once more to sleep.