Me and My Boys

I ran into the house as quickly as possible after Jimmy. He was muttering something to his brother, and Jack’s face was almost as ecstatic as Jimmy’s was.

“Are you two ready for practice?” I asked, and they both looked up at me with wide, gorgeous green-hazel eyes.

“No,” Jack said quickly.

“Do you want to be late?” I asked. Jack and Jimmy shook their heads in unison and dashed up the steps towards their bedrooms. A loud crash and a few minutes later, and they were both back in the kitchen toting hockey bags that almost looked too big for them.

“Ready!” Jack beamed. I smiled and let them race each other into the garage. They both threw their bags into the trunk of the black SUV sitting in the parking spot closest to the house, and scampered into their seats. I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel as I drove towards the rink. Once I got to the rink, they raced inside and got their equipment on so fast that even I was surprised. They were two little bundles of energy, and I was glad that it didn’t get them into trouble at school. Jimmy slapped Jack’s helmet with his stick, Jack did the same to Jimmy, and then they headbutted.

“Weady Jack?” Jimmy asked.

“Ready!” Jack chirped, and they dashed onto the ice for their warm-ups. I frowned a bit, and made a mental reminder to talk to Jimmy’s speech teacher the next day. He was getting better, but he still had trouble talking. I sat on the bench next to some of the other parents and kept an eye out for their jerseys. Jack wore the number 18, and Jimmy wore 36. The two of them were incredible, they way they worked together on the ice. It was impressive, especially for two seven year olds, the way they passed with such precision. They always seemed to know where the other one was, even if they couldn’t see.

“They’re like little Sedins, aren’t they Camille?” a woman asked me. I jumped, so wrapped up in my thoughts that I hadn’t realized that Audrey had sat down next to me.

“I think so,” I chuckled, watching Jack pass Jimmy the puck. Jimmy popped it top down and the goalie in the net hung his head.

“So, how are things going with the new job? I hear you’ve been doing well,” Audrey asked. I sighed and nodded happily.

“It’s great. I love it. The kids are fantastic, and the school pays well,” I said.

“Well for a charter school, they’d better pay well,” Audrey laughed.

“Yeah, you’ve got that right,” I smiled. After the practice Jimmy and Jack immediately pulled me into tight hugs.

“Did we do good?” Jack asked excitedly.

“You did great,” I smiled, ruffling his honey blonde hair. They high fived and grabbed their bags off of the floor.

When I got home, I sent them inside to do their homework and I grabbed the shovel. The snow was starting to pile up on the sidewalk and I knew that if I didn’t do it every few hours I’d soon have a foot or more to shovel myself out of. New Jersey was crazy like that. I swore it felt like spring no more than a week ago, and now my yard looked like a winter wonderland. As I started to shovel, I saw a car pull up to the house across the street. I tried not to look, but I heard him call my name. I stood up straight and waved.

“Hey,” Zach said, walking over.

“Hi there,” I smiled. I leaned against the shovel and readjusted my hat.

“Do you want any help with shoveling?” Zach asked.

“No, I’m good. If I need some help, I can just ask the boys to help me,” I said quickly. Zach raised his eyebrows.

“I only saw one out here earlier,” he said.

“Jack was inside getting ready for practice like Jimmy should have been. Jimmy is lucky Jack packed his bag for him,” I explained.

“Jack?” Zach asked.

“Jack is Jimmy’s twin brother,” I said.

“You must love having such adorable little brothers,” Zach smiled wistfully. I simply shook my head stiffly and headed back inside without so much as a second word. My heart ached, and I silently cursed myself. Why hadn’t I been able to say “no, they’re my sons”? I stood in the doorway of the kitchen, watching them as they chattered away quietly to each other, pointing out things in the assignments they were working on, laughing, and just being the blessings that they were. I felt hot tears roll down my cheeks, and almost instantly, Jack turned around.

“Mommy, why are you crying? Did you get hurt shoveling?” he asked, jumping out of his chair and running over to hug me around my legs. I bent down and hugged him tightly, and Jimmy ran over too. I squeezed them to me as tightly as I could without hurting them, and smiled weakly.

“No baby, I’m not hurt…I’m just sad,” I finally whispered. Jack pulled back and looked at me with big eyes.

“Why are you sad? Was Zach mean to you?” Jack asked. I shook my head.

“Mommy, don’t be sad. We wuv you!” Jimmy chirped, and I smiled at him.

“I love you too Jimmy. You boys are my world, you know that right?” I asked.

“Yeah, we know…but you can have friends too if you want,” Jack said. I stared at my boys. Their eyes were huge doe eyes, full of love and innocence, and I felt my heart break once more.

“I love you so much,” I whispered, hugging them to me once again.