Me and My Boys

I stared at my phone blankly, and then hit 30. It rang a few times, and I bounced my leg, each ring making me even more anxious.

“Hey,” Marty said, answering after a few seconds.

“Hey man,” I said quietly.

“So what do you need?” Marty asked. I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was not happy with me at all.

“I called to apologize. What I said was…really, really uncalled for. I shouldn’t have ever said it. I was just upset, and confused, and angry…and well, I let my emotions get the best of me. I’m sorry,” I said. The line was silent for so long I was afraid he had hung up on me.

“Look Zach, I’ll give it to you straight; you can’t just say whatever you’re feeling at the moment without thinking about it. Quite honestly, I didn’t even want to answer this phone call. I’m forgiving you, but just promise me you’ll think before you speak next time,” Marty sighed. I ran my hand through my hair.

“I promise…and I really am sorry Marty. You’re one of the greatest guys I know, and don’t forget it,” I said.

“I won’t,” Marty laughed. We chatted idly for a few minutes, but said our goodbyes much more quickly than usual. I felt horrible, and the sinking feeling that had developed in my stomach these past few days just got worse. I found myself in the kitchen, pulling the picture frame out of the trash, and as I did so, a piece of shattered glass cut my finger.

“Ow!” I growled, sucking on my pointer finger as I stared at the picture. Everything about her was the same…it was me who had changed. My smile seemed a lot duller now, my eyes were older, my face wasn’t as happy…she ruined me, and I hated it. I touched her face in the picture, and a drop of blood spattered onto it. I closed my eyes in defeat and dropped the picture back into the trash. The remaining pieces of glass that weren’t broken shattered as it slammed to the bottom of the can, and in a way I felt like my life was becoming a lot like that picture frame. I jolted out of my pity party as the doorbell rang though.

“Package for a Mr. Zach Parise,” the UPS guy standing on my step said. I raised my eyebrows, but signed the little electronic clipboard thing and took the box. I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and tore the box open. Sitting on top was a letter.

Zach, I was going through my things the other day, and I found some of your stuff. I figured that you might want it back, but I didn’t want to deliver it in person. I heard from a friend that you moved to the same neighborhood as some of the other guys, and so I decided to have it shipped to your new address. Well…sorry it took me so long to return this stuff. I crumpled the letter angrily and threw it into the trash. I didn’t even want to look in the box, but I forced myself to. I pulled the things that reminded me so much of the relationship that had been shattered out one by one. My favorite hoodie (it still smelled like her), a few mixed CDs, pictures of us at different events, and a few pieces of jewelry that I had bought her. I threw all of it out except for the jewelry, and I planned on selling it as soon as humanly possible. By the time I slammed the lid of the trash can shut, I was shaking with anger. I grabbed the shovel, and decided to shovel out the driveway and sidewalk again. Six more inches of powdery snow had piled up, and the sweat made me feel better. By the time I was done, it was close to three, and I decided to take my pre-game nap. As I headed up the stairs, I saw Camille pull up in her driveway. Something fluttered in my gut feebly, but I opened the door to the master bedroom, set my alarm clock, flopped into my bed, and fell asleep.

*Camille’s Point of View*

“Alright boys, get your stuff on and let’s go!” I called up the stairs. Jack flew down the steps, followed shortly by Jimmy. They were bubbling with excitement, and I was too. Jack was still tugging his Kovalchuk jersey on over his head, and Jimmy was donning his Elias jersey. I already had my Brodeur jersey on, and we were ready to go. Jack and Jimmy tugged on their boots, coats, and hats so fast I was amazed. I laughed, noting how quickly they were willing to move when it came to doing things they wanted to do. Whenever I told them it was homework time, or bed time, they moved like molasses.

“Mommy, are we really going to a Devils’ game?” Jack asked. I nodded and held up the three thin black and red tickets I had bought. The boys let out a cheer and ran out of the house.

“Wait guys, I don’t even have my coat on!” I laughed, tugging on my coat and running out of the house after them. Zach was in his driveway, getting ready to go. Jack ran across the street before I could even say anything, and Jimmy followed suit.

“Zach we’re going to a Devils’ game!” I heard Jack cry excitedly. I walked over, and smiled apologetically.

“It’s their first game,” I explained.

“Oh wow, way to put the pressure on me guys,” Zach chuckled. Jimmy beamed.

“I know you’ll do good, you always do!” Jimmy smiled. Zach’s smile grew, and he ruffled Jimmy’s hair.

“I hope you all have loads of fun. I’ll try and put one in the net for you guys,” Zach said.

“Sweet!” Jack cried, and my boys highfived.

“Thanks Zach,” I said quietly. Zach looked at me for a minute, and then nodded.

“Not a problem. They’re great kids, so a little extra effort is worth it,” he grinned.

“Yeah…” I said in agreement, looking at the two rambunctious twins.

“Well, I’ve gotta go so I make it to the Rock on time…I’ll see you around,” Zach said, hopping into the car.

“See you later,” I said, pulling the boys back so that Zach could back up.

I was terrified that I’d lose the boys in the crowd at the Prudential Center, but they were incredibly well behaved. They stuck by my side, and tugged at my hand when they saw things like the high school jerseys, various paintings, and N.J. They insisted on getting a picture with the goofy looking mascot, so I pulled out my camera and snapped a photo. As soon as I looked at it, I decided it would be going on the mantel. The game started about 20 minutes after we arrived, and the boys were quick to pick up on the various chants the crowd started. As soon as the starting lineup for the Rangers started, the crowd erupted into boos. I let the boys scream “SUCKS” after the names of each starting Ranger, but reminded them that they weren’t allowed to talk like that outside of the Rock. We cheered on every starting Devil, and by the time the puck dropped the boys were plastered to the glass. I was hesitant to buy such good seats, but I found really low priced tickets online and decided to splurge. By the end of the first period the game was 1-0 in favor of the Devils, and the boys were having a great time. Zach scored twice in the second, and the boys flipped out. During the third he scored again, and the boys tossed their battered snow caps onto the ice. I had made sure that they didn’t wear their good hats to the game for exactly that reason.

The boys slept like bricks the entire ride home. By the time I got back to the house it was pretty late, so I scooped up Jimmy in my arms and headed towards the house. Just then Zach’s car pulled into the driveway, and he jumped out, waving furiously. I nodded, my arms full of sleeping child, and he trotted across the icy street.

“So did they have fun?” Zach asked quietly, looking at the sleeping bundle in my arms.

“Loads. They were so excited when you scored that hat trick. I thought Jack was going to pass out,” I chuckled.

“That’s good…do you want any help?” he asked, glancing at Jack, who was still sleeping soundly in the back of my car. Although I didn’t necessarily need help, I nodded and Zach immediately unbuckled Jack’s seat belt, scooped him up, and followed me into the house. I tucked Jimmy in and watched as Zach tucked in Jack. He took such care to not wake him up that for a minute I felt like I was going to tear up. After the boys were tucked in I invited Zach downstairs for some hot chocolate.

“So why aren’t you out celebrating the win?” I asked him as I put the tea kettle on the stove. Zach ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily.

“I said some things I shouldn’t have to Marty the other day…some bad memories were brought up and I lost control for a bit…the guys are pretty sore with me. I’m just trying to keep a low profile until things smooth out again,” Zach said. I sat down on one of the tall stools that were sitting in front of the island counter, and Zach sat across from me.

“Bad memories?” I asked.

“Yeah…I was pretty steady with a girl for a while. I was in love with her, but she turned around and dumped me for one of the guys she met at the All-Star Game. When we were unpacking we found a picture of me and her together, and it just brought everything back. I’ve been ignoring it for so long that I forgot how much it hurt,” Zach explained. Loneliness was written on his face, and for some reason I reached across the counter and put my hand on his.

“Having two kids so young, I learned that everything happens for a reason. Something that you initially think is bad might be the biggest blessing in your life,” I whispered, looking at the stairs. Zach squeezed my hand appreciatively and smiled weakly.

“I hope so,” he said.