Something to Remember

“Come on! You can’t keep this kind of stuff from me!” He whined dragging out words in his high pitched speech. The brown haired male poked my side as he sat on my desk incessantly bugging me.

I looked up from my computer screen with a glare. “You are the most stereotypical gay I’ve ever met.” My hands flipped some of my blond hair back over my shoulder. “Go away.”

He pouted and crossed his arms over his tiny chest. “You’re so rude Mae-dae!”

“You realize ‘mayday’ is a communist holiday right?” I asked turning back to my work at hand. There were some pictures I had to edit for the next edition of the magazine.

James, or Jimmy as we called him, swung his legs and shook his head. “Seriously,” He was looking at me sternly when I turned to him again. “Annalisa Mae Hale, you will tell me about this boy.”

I threw my hands in the air in defeat. My feet pushed against the ground to move the chair away from the desk. “He’s just who I’m working with while I’m helping out the band. He’s really weird; impossible to keep him on subject.”

“Okay we’re getting somewhere!” Jimmy smiled to reveal perfect white teeth and leaned on his knees. “What’s his name? What’s his band? What does he do in the band? Is he cute? Is he single?”

A groan passed my lips as I readied myself for all the questions. “Brendon Urie. Panic! At The Disco. I don’t know. I don’t care. And what?” My almost colorless eyes watched him carefully with a raised eyebrow.

There was a mixture of shock and excitement beginning to form on the male’s face. His smile grew tenfold and he bounced up and down. “Brendon Urie?! Holy fucking shit Anna!! First off, he is the most amazing singer in the world. Second off, the boy is a total sex god! You never bothered to look any of this up?” He exclaimed smacking me lightly.

I shrugged and shook my head. “Is that all?” I asked wanting to get back to my work. Personally I really didn’t care about any of this. At least I’d figured out why Brendon’s name rang such a bell. Jimmy must have gone on about a million rants about how hot he was.

“Stop putting this boy off!” Not a sound passed my lips as the tiny male jumped onto my lap and shook me violently by my shoulders. “Annalisa! This is destiny! This is a sign from the God that you don’t believe in!”

My small hand pushed against his bony chest in vain. “You don’t believe in him either.” I retorted still trying halfheartedly to get him off of me.

“Come on; let something good happen to you for once. Enjoy the attention of a male that countless girls are dying for.” He whined slowly getting off of my small lap.

I pushed my disheveled hair off of my face after he was done shaking me. “I’m not interested.” I stated bluntly as I looked at the clock and took a stand. My feet took me out of the room.

“You’re never interested!” He shouted after me. I put my hand in the air as a small little wave as I left his vision.

Jimmy was my best friend I guess you could call it. He was the only person I really cared to talk to. The friendship hadn’t been completely mutual at first. He chased after me, for some reason, desperately wanted to get me to open up. I on the other hand tried to avoid him at all costs.

Jimmy was loud, attention-drawing. He was superficial, always cared about how he looked. He was also very flamboyantly gay. The tiny male had a natural talent in photography and an eye for color.

I’d come around a bit and accepted him finally. He understands me sometimes I suppose. The dynamics of our relationship was interesting, but it worked. Jimmy had enough enthusiasm, emotion and laughter for the both of us. He kept things interesting. I kept him on the ground.

A knock on the glass turned my head as I walked away from the building. A slight smile found its way to my lips. The brunette boy was pressed against the clear glass making silly faces at me. He grinned and waved goodbye after his antics.

As much of a pest that he was, he was also the best person in my life. He knew when I needed to be cheered up.

I gave him a real wave this time as I unlocked the doors on my small car.

The engine rumbled as it pushed the tiny vehicle down the road. Tires against black pavement were the only noises I heard for the longest time. Flashes of terror swept through me. The thoughts were more than enough motive to press the little button on the dash.
A familiar voice rushed to fill the petrifying silence in the dim interior. Perfectly timed instruments filled in behind his voice. Almost instantly my breathing stopped hitching and fell back into a steadier pace.

I sunk into the driver’s seat further and kept my eyes on the long black road. My knuckles were still white as I clutched onto the steering wheel. I tried to ignore the metal frame crushing and closing in around me.

“It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.” I repeated the words to myself. My voice was hushed and rushed. My wide eyes wouldn’t close and wouldn’t budge from staring directly out the front window.

When repeating useless words to myself didn’t work; I shut myself up. Instead I listened more closely to the voice playing off the CD. His voice flowed in such smooth rhythm it almost took away the horrifying flashes hitting me.

I’d thank Jimmy for sneaking this CD into my car. I’d thank Jimmy if I didn’t wreck myself. That’s not distracting enough.

My mind jumped trying to only hear the singer. I tried to think of nothing but the singer. Perhaps he’d somehow make all this stop. I couldn’t explain my odd comfort in a person I’d never met. I didn’t want to understand, I just wanted it to work.

The car came to a startling halt. I threw the seatbelt off my body and flew from the car as fast as I could. My small frame literally ran away from the vehicle and into the new building ahead of me.

“Good afternoon Annalisa, please sit down.”

I obliged and dropped onto a large cushioned chair. Like a scared child I brought my knees up to my chest. My hair flew down to cover my frightened face.

“Did you drive here by yourself?” His voice wasn’t as nice. He had a deeper voice. It wasn’t as pleasant. The voice was knowing, kind, not as timed or poised. It wasn’t a bad voice, but it wasn’t anything spectacular.

I simply nodded and began to put my long blond hair back into place. My knees never dropped and continued to press against my chest. I took a deep breath and composed myself to look at the much older man.

His hair had gone completely white years ago I assumed. At least he still had a full head of hair. He was styled and had a neat mustache. The man was well-dressed; khaki pants and white button down and a black vest. Stereotypical glasses were perched on his nose. The clear lenses emphasized the wise and gentle green eyes that still held a twinkle of life. “How did you feel?”

I scoffed and narrowed my lifeless eyes at him. “Isn’t that the most cliché thing you could ask me?”

“Well do you have a cliché answer for me?” He smirked and sat back in his own chair across from me.

“It made me feel sad…and yes, feeling sad makes me feel sadder.” I kept up our staring contest until turning to the side and blowing my bangs from my face. “I nearly killed myself.”
He pushed himself forward in interest and nodded for me to continue.

“I couldn’t breathe; it was like I was being crushed. My lungs were balled up and trashed like some old crack addict living on a street corner. Then the flashes of lights started. Not lights like ‘God is here to save us’. Lights where you see the end of your life and realize you have nothing to look back on.” I crossed my arms and puffed myself up to control my harsh tone.

I spoke sharply with a tongue like a knife. Nothing but all out hostility flowed from my body. “I was holding onto the damn steering wheel like it was going to do any good. I knew it wasn’t actually happening, but the car was closing in on me. The frame was bending and breaking.”

I took a deep breath and calmed myself. “Jimmy left a CD in my player.” The tone was completely different. I spoke smoothly and completely emotionless.

The man smiled and sat back in his chair. “Does this CD happen to belong to the band you’re working for?” He inquired not even phased by the brutal rant I’d just finished.

“Yes.” I let my feet touch the ground now and released my arms from around my chest. “The singer has a perfectly pitched voice. He must work very hard, or just be uniquely gifted.”

“So he is familiar? Perhaps you listened to them before?” He suggested with a kind smile.
I shook my head. As if I hadn’t thought of that already. “No, their first CD didn’t come out until after.”

“Well I’m glad to see you are making some sort of progress Annalisa.” He pulled out a notepad and jotted a few things down. “Can you tell me anything about this ‘Denny’ who wrote you that letter?”

I thought back to the damaged paper pinned to my refrigerator. I could almost feel something when it passed through my mind. I could almost feel upset that I had no idea who Denny was.