Right Here Waiting

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I groaned as I felt my bed bouncing up and down.

'What the hell?' I thought.

I rolled over quickly to see my brothers Chazz and Channing jumping on either side of me.

I was rolling around in between them, bumping into their shins.

"What the hell you guys! Can't I rest in peace?" I asked them.

Channing laughed and shook his head.

He had a goofy grin look on his face and I gave Chazz an accusing look.

"You gave him an energy drink, didn't you!" I exclaimed.

Chazz smiled sweetly and shrugged.

I pushed him and he toppled over.

"You bastard! You know he doesn't handle sugar the way a normal person does." I said angrily.

Chazz just laughed as Channing continued to jump up and down on my bed.

"Channing, sit the hell down! You're making me feel sick." I groaned.

Channing laughed and jumped off my bed, skipping around my room.

I rolled my eyes as I sat up and rested against my headboard.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked Chazz.

He smiled and nudged my shoulder.

"Came to check on you." He said.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to sleep in." I said.

"Wrong. What you want is to be depressed all alone. I know how you are when Cam has to leave. It sucks. And I'm not going to let you go through that alone. Not again." He said.

My eyes started to burn and I turned my head away from him.

He pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly.

"Don't do that. Don't hide from me. You know I'm here for you no matter what." Chazz said.

"I know. I just don't want to bring you guys down with my negative attitude." I said.

"You couldn't be negative even if you tried. Now get dressed. We've got a day out on the town planned foe you." Chazz said.

I looked up at him with a confused face.

"We?" I asked.

He nodded with a grin.

"Me, Channing, Chad and Charlie are taking you out to have some fun. We're going to the park to see if anyone's brave enough to go against us. Then we're going to the arcade and having an air hockey tournament. Mom and dad are going to meet up with us for that one. Then we're going out to eat. Then we're going to go see your bonehead brother get his ass pounded into the ground by an enemy team." Chazz said.

I smiled.

They did all of this to cheer me up.

It had me wanting to cry at how special my family is.

Wouldn't replace them for anything in this world.

I grinned widely and hugged my brother, jumping off my brother and onto Channing's back.

He laughed loudly and started running around my house with me on his back.

It took me ten minutes and then we were out of there.

My brothers made sure to keep me occupied the entire time.

I didn't even have time to dwell on Cam's absence.

We were in the middle of our hockey tournament when my cell rang.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hey baby." Cam's deep voice rumbled over the line.

I sighed deeply as his voice washed over me like a caress.

"I love you." I said instantly.

He chuckled.

"I love you too. You doing okay?" He asked softly.

"I miss you. So much. But my brother's are keeping me busy. They won't let me wallow in my misery. Pushy bastards." I said, not even a hint of anger in my voice.

He laughed again and the sound made my heart race.

"Good. I'm glad that they're making sure you're okay. I worry." He said.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"The last thing you need to do is worry about me. You need to focus out there Cam. How's Gage?" I asked.

"He's good, talking to Tammi. Right now." He said.

I smiled and we talked for a few more minutes before he had to go.

We said our goodbyes and the warmth in my chest stayed with me for the rest of the day.

My little brother won his football game.

His little bitch was there so he still wasn't talking to me.

I tried not to let it get to me.

But it's really hard.

And it hurts.

I shrugged the bad feelings off and tried to enjoy the rest of my day with my family, but as the day went on, I got a really sick feeling in my stomach.

I was restless all night, rolling all over the bed trying to find a comfortable spot.

But I couldn't sleep.

And then I had to slap on a happy face when my family, Tammi and Maya stopped by to hang out.

We barbecued and played around, with me trying to ignore my little brothers absence.

Maybe that's what this is.

I'm just missing my brother and its physically making me sick.

I sighed deeply and got up when the doorbell rang.

"I got it! It's the dessert." I yelled back.

I opened the door and my mouth fell open when I saw Gage standing there with two more members of Cam's team, Tyler and Matt.

I grinned widely and hugged Gage tightly.

"I'm so glad you're okay. And Tammi is going to be so happy to see you, trust me." I said, hugging Matt and Tyler as well.

I looked around and my eyes narrowed in confusion because Cam wasn't there.

I looked all around but there was no sign of him.

I looked back at Gage and saw the lines of tension all over his face.

Lines I was too busy to see when I first opened the door.

I'd also failed to see the guys current state.

They were ruggid and beat up.

Gage has a black eye and a cut above his cheekbone.

Tyler's arm is in a sling and Matt's putting all his body weight on his left side.

And that's when I felt it.

The sorrow, and grief.

It hit me like a tidal wave and the breath rushed out of me like I'd been punched in the stomach.

My eyes burned and and my heart dropped.

"Gage, where's Cam?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

His eyes were shining brightly with unshed tears and a cold hand wrapped around my heart.

"Gage, where is he? Where is my Cam?" I said, my voice raising and hysterical.

I heard a rush of footsteps and suddenly I was surrounded.

I felt the air rush out of my chest and I couldn't breath.

I gripped the front of Gage's shirt and yanked him forward.

"Where is he?!" I screamed, the tears running down my face as I shook Gage violently.

The tears spilled down his cheeks but he didn't try and push me away.

I punched his chest and slapped at him.

"You tell me where he's at! Tell me now! What happened Gage?" I screamed.

I felt hands on my shoulders, pulling me away from Gage.

I reached for Gage again but my brothers strong arms wrapped around me and I couldn't move.

"We were on a night watch. We got a false tip that led us into a trap. We were ambushed." Matt said, his voice hoarse.

My eyes widened.

"Gage was pinned behind a wall, enemy fire coming from all sides. And Cam went back for him." Tyler said quietly.

"He's missing. And we weren't aloud to stay back and find him. He's MIA." Gage said quietly.

It felt like I was spinning.

I was so confused.

My was my world falling apart?

Why do I feel light headed and unsteady?

I tried to pry myself out of the arms that were holding me.

But they were holding me tight.

And there was an endless chatter all around me.

All I wanted was some quiet.

So I could try and make sense of things.

But it wasn't coming.

There was an endless daze of confusion, almost dream like.

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

No words, no murmurs, nothing.

Which is exactly how I felt.

Nothing.

Numb.

Lost.

Heartbroken.

My vision was swimming and I didn't know what to do.

It was all too much.

I can't handle it.

Cam.

My Cam.

It can't be.

It just can't.

But the proof was staring me back in the face.

His absence.

I took in a shaky breath and felt myself go limp, like the world was swallowing me whole.

And in this moment, that's all I wanted.

To be swallowed whole.

Because the thought of living in a world where Cam wasn't, was unimaginable.

I closed my eyes and let the darkness that was surrounding me, take me under.

But even in the endless darkness, the pain wouldn't leave me be.