Right Here Waiting

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The day had been eventful to say the least.

I hate Chance's girlfriend with a passion.

I hate the sound of her voice, her clingy attitude, and especially the way she acts around Cam.

I want to punch the ugly smile off her face every time she looks at him.

I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

It felt like heaven.

Mostly because Cam is right here beside me.

I felt his side of the bed shake and it woke me from my sleep.

I rolled over to see where he was going but saw him still laying next to me.

As I looked closer, I could see Cam's body shaking.

I rubbed my eyes, thinking that I might be dreaming.

But he was indeed shaking.

And I laid there watching him, I heard a whimper escape him.

I rolled across the bed quickly.

"Cam?" I asked softly.

But he didn't say a thing.

He starting shaking more violently and he let out a hoarse cry.

"Oh my god." I cried.

I scrambled closer and crawled on top of Cam until I was straddling his waist.

His shaking was getting more violent and I felt myself starting to shake as well.

It scares the crap out of me when Cam has these nightmares.

It almost always happens a few days after he gets back home from a deployment.

He starts making little noises and whimpering, rolling around and thrashing a lot.

But it's the shaking that always wakes me up.

"Cam? Honey?" I murmured softly, not wanting to startle him when he did wake up.

But I got no answer.

Cam was still caught in a dream.

And he couldn't hear me.

I grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

"Cam. Wake up!" I said louder, shaking him until he woke with a start.

His hands instinctively came up and wrapped around my wrists.

His eyes were wide and alert.

"Cam..." I said again softly, trying to let him know with my voice, that I wasn't a threat, and that he was safe.

He looked so confused.

"Chase?" He asked, looking around.

"Yeah baby, it's me. Bad dream?" I asked him softly.

His breathing was choppy and he was covered in sweat.

He nodded slowly.

The nightmares always make him so exhausted.

I ran my fingers down his cheek and bent down to give him a kiss and press my forehead against his.

"You're safe baby. You're okay." I told him.

He nodded, and his arms went around me, but he was still shaking.

I quickly got off of him and rolled him on his side.

I pressed myself against his back so he could feel the warmth of my skin against his back.

I wrapped one arm around his torso and held on tight, the other one going above his head and running soothingly through his sweat-soaked hair.

I gently us back and forth, humming and running my fingers through his hair until Cam's breathing was a little more level and controlled.

"Baby, talk to me. Tell me what happened." I said.

Cam took a deep breath and looked up at me.

"I was back there. God. People do, they do such horrible things." He said, his eyes filled with horror.

I felt my heart squeeze at all of the bad things that Cam has seen since he's joined the Army.

And I wish that I could just take his pain away.

Take away those awful memories.

Because Cam doesn't deserve this.

He joined the Army to help people, and he gets stuck with the horrible memories and the tragedies of what he has to do to bring peace.

And it's not fair.

Not that anyone would hear Cam complain.

He is one of the most selfless people I have ever known.

And it makes me love him even more.

"God, there were kids. Everywhere. And they were looking for their parents. They were crying and scared, and so confused. And the things those people did to the parents. It's sick. And it makes me want to throw up." Cam said.

I felt him shudder and I squeezed him tighter, letting him know that I was here.

That I'd always be here.

"And then I saw you." Cam said.

That surprised me.

I've never been included in his nightmares.

"And they were hurting you. I saw red. I killed every single one of those fucks who laid a finger on you. I've done things Chase, that if you knew, you could never love me." Cam whispered.

I pulled away from him and rolled him until he was facing me.

Unshed tears were brimming his eyes and it broke my heart.

I grabbed his chin and made him look up at me.

"You listen to me Cameron Alexander Kelli. I love you. You. Do you hear me? And the things that you do in the Army, is to help those who can't help themselves. Who are being held down by those with power. And you do what needs to be done. There is nothing you could ever do that would make me love you anyless. If anything, it makes me love you so, so much more. Because you know what those memories do to you. And you take on that burden anyway." I told him.

He looked at me and I could see he was glad that I'd said that.

That I knew he wasn't a monster.

I pulled his head to my chest and held him close, laying down again so we were molded together.

It took a while before Cam relaxed enough to where we could just talk.

And that's exactly what we did the rest of the night.

Cam's eyes finally fluttered closed and I sighed in relief.

I ran my fingers gently through his hair.

My fingers traced against the smooth lines of his face.

You would never be able to tell that Cam carries the burden of what he's required to do everyday.

I pressed my lips to his forehead and he snuggled closer into my chest.

This isn't the first time Cam has had nightmares since we've been together.

I know how strong of a man Cameron is.

I know it takes a lot to effect him and make him emotional.

So I can only imagine what he's seen to provoke them.

And I'm sure this won't be the last time that his horrors from over seas will come to haunt him.

But I'll always be here for him.

Always right here to reassure him and put things into perspective.

I glanced over at the clock and saw the time.

4 AM.

With Cam curled in my arms, his chest heaving in and out against mine, I fell into a deep sleep.