The Good That Won't Come Out

"Hi! Is there any way I can get backstage?" she asked the huge bouncer.

"Sorry. I can't do anything. Go see if you can win a backstage pass."

"But, I'm Patrick's girlfriend!"

The bouncer gave her an odd look.

"Now I know that you're lying. His girlfriend is all ready backstage."

Hailey gave him a crestfallen look and walked away. She pushed her way to the front of the stage, ignoring the comments, looks, and gestures. Fall Out Boy was about to take stage and she planted herself right in front of Patrick's mic.

"Hey! You're the girl from the video!" a boy exclaimed.

"Yes, yes I am!"

"Do you have a backstage pass?"

A light bulb went off in her head, maybe she could get backstage because of the video. Still she didn't move. The band came out onto the stage and began to play. Hailey stared up at Patrick, but he didn't notice her. Finally, she hollered his name and he looked down. Her heart broke when he looked at her and his eyes acted like they didn't even know her. They were hollow and looked straight through her.

"This is for all the girls who've broken someone's heart," Pete announced.

They started playing and Hailey lowered her head. She left the stage area, pushing through the surging crowd. She pulled her cell phone out and dialed his number. She left one last voicemail.
"Patrick, I know you saw me. I wish you would talk to me. The bouncer told me you have a girlfriend. I'm lost, I don't know what to think. I guess I hope it's all fabricated likenever mind. Please call me, we need to talk.

She went back to her hotel and crawled into the bed. Hailey knew something was wrong, that is why she left England. Little did she know how bad it really was.

She waited for Patrick to call, but he didn't. Days turned into nights and nights turned into days. Hailey didn't bother to pick up the phone anymore. Both her cell phone and the hotel phone were ringing off the hook. Everyday, the hotel maid would knock on the door and Hailey would tell her to go away. She lost track of time and didn't know what day it was. In her head, life was over. She had lost Patrick with no explanation, he had moved on and it was almost too much to bear. So, she laid there and let herself waste away. She hadn't eaten, showered or talked to anyone and had given up on Patrick calling. He wasn't going to call. One day, she didn't know what day, there was a knock at the door.

"I don't need anything!" she hollered.

"Miss Andrews?" a male voice called. "This is the manager of the hotel. I need you to open the door, we are very concerned about you."

"I'm fine, just charge my credit card for the room, I don't care."

"Miss Andrews, please open the door, if you won't, we will have to open it by force."

Hailey reluctantly got up and opened the door. She squinted in the bright hallway light. Standing behind the manager was Pete. She went to shut the door, but he put his hand in it.

"Thank you," he said to the manager and walked in the door of Hailey's room, shutting it behind him.

"What are you doing here?" she asked bitterly.

"Hailey, are you ok?" he asked in a concerned tone.

"Pete, what are you doing here?"

"Hailey, no one's heard from you in almost two weeks. Your parents have been calling every number they know trying to find you."

"I'm surprised they didn't just pull up my credit card bills," she said sarcastically. "I just want to be left alone, Pete. Things suck, and the only answer is to go into seclusion. No more lying tabloids, no more meddling parents, no more desperate ex-boyfriend. I've lost the only man I've ever truly loved and I don't even know why, and he looks at me like he doesn't know me. I might as well kill myself, no one cares, you know."

"Hailey, what do you expect? You hook up with your ex only a couple days after Patrick leaves? You of all people should know how sensitive he can be."

Tears started to stream down her face.

"I told him never to believe the tabloids, they are all trash and lies. Obviously, he wanted to be with whoever he's with, because he wouldn't even talk to me."

"Hailey, there were pictures."

"That weren't in context. They didn't show me pushing him away, or that I told him I love Patrick and I could never love him the way I love Patrick."

Pete looked at her with curiosity.

"How do you explain the email?"

"What email?" she asked in confusion.

"The one where you told Patrick that you were moving on with James, that you never really loved him, that you only went out with him to get back at your parents. Oh, and that he should forget all about you and move on."

She gave him a horrified look.

"I never wrote any email! We always talked on the phone."

"Well, there was an email. And it was bad. Look, you need to call your parents so they stop calling Patrick. He wants to move on with his life. I'm going. Patrick wanted me to tell you to stop calling."

"Don't you believe me?" she whimpered.

"It doesn't matter what I believe," Pete said gently. "Patrick doesn't want to deal with all the drama anymore, whether it's true or not."

Hailey dissolved into sobs.

"Tell him that I love him, and I'd rather be alone, then be without him."

Pete looked sympathetic for a moment.

"Hailey?"

"Yes?" she asked hopefully.

"Take care of yourself, ok?"

With that, he left. It was over, and Hailey knew everything. She knew what her mother had done, and that it couldn't be undone. He could forgive her blundering lie once, but not now, not for a second time. Patrick wouldn't believe her. He was too sensitive. So, for the first time in two weeks, Hailey took a shower and decided to go out. She called her parents first.

"Mum?"

"Oh god, Hailey, where have you been?"

"Chicago, mum. Trying to work things out with Patrick. Trying to fix the things that you've done."

"Whatever are you talking about?"

"Don't play innocent with me. I know about the email, and I'm assuming you sent him the tabloids. I'm not coming back to England."

"Hailey, I never..."

"Stop it. I have no family. You and dad betrayed me. I'm staying here."

"But why? If you don't have Patrick?"

"I don't have anything, mum. I'm starting a new life. You talked me once into ending it with him and threatened to disown me if I wouldn't end it. I wish you would have. Now, I'm disowning you."

"Darling, be reasonable."

"No, that's it. I'm going to find a job, and a place to live. Please don't try to contact me. And tell James to stop calling also. I'm going to play it alone."

"But, a beautiful girl like you,"

Hailey interrupted, "I've done it your way mum, and it didn't work. I'd rather be alone than with someone I don't love."

She hung up the phone and went out. She put in a few applications for a job and started looking at apartments. Surprisingly, she found one easily. It was a cute little one bedroom in a nice neighborhood in walking distance of the L-Train. It was lucky she had gained control of her trust fund when she graduated from college.
Over the next week, she furnished her home and actually got a call back for an interview to be a junior editor for a women's magazine. Things were on their way, but she still felt empty.