Not Even Duct Tape Can Fix My Broken Heart, Can You?

"Yeah, okay from what I have gathered Montana is very outgoing but very to herself at times, Kayci is more of the shy type that blushes at everything," Jimmy stated as he leaned back.

"Yeah," Johnny said nodding with his eyes closed. "I've eat supper at their house before, Montana's mom says I'm a good boy."

That made everyone crack out and laugh.

"You a good boy?" I asked then cackled. "Is she smoking weed?"

"No, leave her mommy alone, she's really nice," Johnny said, making Jimmy narrow his eyes.

"Uh, Johnny the girls live with their gay best friend who's a tranny, his name is Floyd and he's blonde, did the blonde woman tell you that?" Jimmy asked making everyone cease their laughter and turn to Johnny.

"Uh…blonde hair, really tall and…that could be why her voice was so low, she said she smoked a lot," Johnny slurred as he opened his eyes.

"Johnny, did you and this…girl do anything sexual?" I asked trying my hardest not to bust out laughing.

"No, she cooked spaghetti and I walked back over here, she said come back for something, I can't remember what though."

"Sugar?" I asked

"Yeah, sugar I think," he giggled and turned on his side, and started snoring.

"I'm never leaving my kids with you guys again," Matt said pointing to everyone. "You bunch of drunk bastards."

"Ditto," I said nodding my head in agreement, Jimmy started to laugh until he fell into the floor. "I'm surprised they aren't like…dead?"

"They have much experience," Matt stated as he shook his head. "Let's go get the kids and take them home."

"Okay.” I nodded. We grabbed the kids and loaded them into the car, but before we could leave, Jimmy ran out with Jamie’s purse.

“Here, give Jamie her purse. Her iPod is in it, and I don’t trust Johnny taking it to her.” Jimmy threw it in the window of the car as we drove away. Matt stopped at Jamie’s and Zacky’s house first. Matt decided to stay in the car, making me go give Jamie her purse back. I knocked on the door a few times, but neither of them came.

“Jamie! Zacky!” I knocked a few times, and finally I heard rustling around and laughing.

“Uh, hi.” Jamie opened the door, pulling her hair into a ponytail.

“Hi. You left your purse at Jimmy’s and he asked me to bring it back to you.” I handed it to her, she simply threw it on the couch.

“Who is it? I ought to kill them…” Zack walked over to the door. “Oh, hi Jack.”

“Hi. Uh, Zack, you have something red,” I waved my hand over his neck and chest. “Everywhere.”

“Yeah, I know…” He mumbled.

“Okay, just checking. And why do you want to kill me?”

“Because he’s in a pissy mood because you came during-“ Jamie sighed.

“Oh… Oh!” I laughed. “Sorry, guys. Where are the kids?”

“Zacky’s mom called and said she wanted to keep them another night. We got lucky!” She giggled.

“Zack, don’t be upset, you have all day!” I laughed and shut the door, walking back to Matt’s minivan.

“What took you so long?” Matt asked as we began to pull out of Jamie’s and Zacky’s driveway.

“You don’t want to know…”

"Sure I do," he laughed then stopped to think about it. "Wait that's Jamie and Zacky, never mind I asked."

"Good idea," I said nodding my head frantically.

"That bad huh?" he asked as he started the car and backed out of the driveway. "I mean it's been bad."

"It was bad," I nodded as he took off down the road for his house, as soon as he arrived in his driveway I laughed. "Oh that was so awkward."

"Tell me when the kids aren't present," Matt suggested as he opened the kids door and unbuckled Keegan and Keely, I nodded and opened the other door and let Acelin and Charlie out, then I managed to help poor James out who was stuck in the back.

"Hey dad," James jumped up and down.

"Huh?" Matt asked as we all walked up the steps to the door.

"Where are babies from? Aunt Jamie said she was pregnant and I didn't hear the rest," he explained as he grabbed Keely's hand. "And Keely said something about a bird."

"Oh," I said in shock as I looked away. "You get to explain that one Matt, I'm no good."

"Oh you can't do that!" Matt cried out in shock. "I can't explain that too him," he said then whispered "He's five!"

"That's why I don't need to help, I'll slip something out," I whined as we walked inside.

"Well, you're helping me whether you want to or not," he said picking me up and putting me over his shoulder.

"Matt!" I screamed making the kids start giggling. "I know how to explain it!"

"Did I give you an idea by holding you upside down?"

"Apparently, go Matt!" I laughed as he sat me back down on the ground. "Kids come over here."

As the piled in and sat around Matt and I, I smiled nervously and looked at Matt. "Kids, babies come from God, and God presents someone who wants a baby with a gift, from the stork, which is a bird Keely," I explained smiling. "And guess who really wanted a baby?"

"Aunt Jamie?" Charlie suggested

"Can I have a baby?" Keely asked

"No!" Matt and I said at the same time. "I mean…no."

"Oh," she pouted and crossed her arms.

"I also wanted a baby, so the stork has brought me a baby, and she or he is in my belly," I said happily, all of the kids eyes went wide.

"How did it get in your belly!" Keegan screamed as he pointed to my stomach. "It's an alien, run!"

And that's when everyone scattered like ants were in their pants.

"Oh, god.” I shook my head and giggled.

“So, what was so bad about Jamie and Zacky?” Matt looked over to me.

“I already told you that you don’t want to know!” I laughed.

“Yes, I do! If anyone ever sees anything that happens between them, I have to know!”

“Alright, if you insist. I interrupted them; Zacky was looking a little rough. Is Jamie violent or something?”

“From what I’ve heard from Zack himself, yes.” Matt nodded.

“Fantastic. Jamie looked pretty rough, too. To be honest, I’m scared.”

“Isn’t everybody…” Matt laughed.

“Daddy?” Keegan ran back up to Matt.

“Yes?”

“How many people do you need to have a baby?”

“Uh,” Matt looked at me, then back at Keegan. “Two, why?”

“Can I have a baby with Codi?” Keegan smiled.

“Awww!” I couldn’t help but think that was adorable.

“Maybe when you two get older, much, much older.” Matt sighed and shook his head.

“Okay, thank you, daddy.” Keegan nodded and ran back to the playroom.

“I have to tell Jamie what Keegan said!” I grabbed the phone, but Matt ripped it out of my hands.

“Are you an idiot? Jamie will get so pissed if you interrupt them again!” Matt threw the phone on the adjacent couch.

"Oh well thanks for calling me a idiot," I laughed as I leaned up and kissed his lips, he smiled apologectically and kissed my lips back.

"I sorry," he said softly as he kissed my lips again and again and again, and…well again.

"Mommy?" Acelin walked up to me and pouted her lips. "I fewl."

"You fell?"

"Uh huh, my leg huwts," she said, everything she said was lisped because she was missing her front tooth.

"Aw baby I'm sorry," I said softly as I scooped her up in my arms. "Want a bandaid?"

"No I want daddy to kiss it and make it better," she said pouting her lips as she reached her arms out for Matt, she was Matt's little girl, and Charlie was my boy.

"Aw well come here little girl," Matt said taking her from my arms, he sat down and held her in his laps. "What happened Ace?"

"Staiws," she said still pouting her little red lips. "It huwrted daddy."

"I know babe, its okay how about I kiss it better and get a band-aid?" Matt suggested

"Okay," she said nodding her head, her black hair falling in her face. "Then we watch spongeybob?"

"Of course we watch spongeybob!" Matt said in shock. "Spongeybob is the best!"

"Who wants to watch spongeybob!" I shouted loudly and soon all the kids came running in the living room shouting Spongebob!

"I love Patrick," I giggled

"I love Sandy," Matt said giggling like a girl, on purpose though.

"I love spongebob!" the kids yelled making Matt and I both laugh.

-----The Next Morning-----

“Jack!” Someone sang in a sing song voice. “Wakey wakey…Zack, stop.”

Oh, it was Jamie.

“What do you people want?” I mumbled.

“It’s noon. Me and Zack are here with Codi and Aiden. And Keegan is telling Codi about where babies come from and how he is gonna have one with her. Care to explain?” Jamie’s face was in front of mine as I cracked my eyes open.

“What can I say? Keeg’s just like his daddy.” I laughed and sat up.

“I’ll say. Popping babies out like mad.” Jamie lay next to me on the bed. “I’m so tired…”

“Why?” I looked over to her.

“I wore her out!” Zacky laughed proudly.