A Little Piece of Heaven

When our soul becomes embodied from ourself, what really becomes of it? Does it go to Heaven, or even Hell for that matter? Or maybe it just disintegrates with time like a sugar cube at the bottom of our coffee cups. But what if that soul doesn't belong to only us, but to someone else as well? Someone who would give up everything they own just to see that soul again for one simple moment. Someone who finds everyday without that soul a little less worth living. That was situation for Zachary James Baker.

After his beloved Alivia had lost her life in a fatal car accident, he was never again to be the same. It was his fault after all. He was the one who made her drive for hours in one of the worst thunder storms that year. He was the one who was so selfish that he needed her there to watch him play. He was the one who was infuriated when she didn't show up backstage as he performed in front of hundreds of screaming fans. And he was the one who had never forgiven himself after 3 long years. The light of his life was gone, six feet under, & he has put her there.

His friends all tried to help, being there for him whenever he needed, which he claimed was never. But they were always there for him, despite the screaming & near violent protests.

After 3 years, one would think the pain & suffering would have calmed down, not dissipated, just more self contained. That's what one would think, anyway, but for Zacky the suffering was so much more intense.. He didn't handle the loss very well. But who could blame him? His selfish needing was the reason his one & only true love was gone forever.

He played it cool for the media, hiding behind the spotlight, pretending everything was just fine. But as soon as the light went out & all eyes had closed their view of him, he would crumble up inside with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in hand, & by morning that bottle, & sometimes others, would be empty like that of his heart.

It terrified his friends, knowing that every attempt they made to reach out to him would only end in yet another failure. Tonight was no exception.

The stage lights had faded hours ago, along with every screaming kid in Orange County. Feeling was fading, as well. With every sip of the familiar brown liquid, Zack had become more in tune with apathy. See he would rather feel absolutely nothing than the pain he lived with daily. And as each sip of Jack Daniel's flowed down his dry throat, all sense of feeling, & time & pain disappeared like that of his lost love.

Brian was screaming at him, as usual.

"Zack! Do you fucking hear me?!"

But it was useless, he couldn't hear him. All he could hear was the crashing of the waves at the shore, as he watched each one roll onto the beach from his seat on the deck. Everything else around him was completely blacked out from the heavy intoxication he was currently afflicted by.

The ocean seemed to be the only thing that made sense to him anymore. It had always been Alivia's favorite. So many countless hours of hers were spent just sitting there, in the exact seat Zacky was in, just watching the waves come crashing in. And he would watch from a close distance, admiring her flawless beauty & how peaceful she was when she was sitting there, day dreaming that nothing could ever hurt her.

Zack's eyes shut tight, hands clenching & unclenching. The one person who was suppose to always be there for her, suppose to protect her from everything that could hurt her, had done the exact opposite. He caused her to die, he killed her.

Brain was still screaming to Zack, though he might as well have been screaming at a brick wall. Zack's pain & alcohol induced mind refused to know nothing of it. That is until the near empty bottle of whiskey was ripped from his sweaty hands & thrown over the deck, landing with a thud in the moist sand below.

"What the fuck are you doing!" Zacky yelled in an angry, drunken slur.

"I'm saving your fucking life, that's what I'm doing!" Brian spoke, dragging a very drunk Zack by his arm into the house.

"You can't save me, Syn, I died a long time ago."

Brian flung him onto the couch.

"You didn't die, Z, you just gave up trying. Is this what you're gonna do, Zack, blame yourself for the rest of your life?"

"I told you, Syn, my life ended when Livvie's did!" He tried to protest, but Brian would've hear it.

"So that's it? Your just going to drink life away while blaming yourself for the rest of your fucking life?"

"It is my fucking fault! You don't know shit about what I've gone through!" Zacky screamed, desperately trying to raise his drunken body from the couch.

"We all lost her, Zack! You need to understand that!"

But he wouldn't hear it, he couldn't hear it.

"I don't need to understand shit!"

And with that, he was gone, stumbling drunkenly toward the beach.

Brian just let him go, knowing full well that nothing he could say or do at this point would have any affect on Zacky's tattered being.

Zack was stumbling now, alongside the shore line. He was mumbling incoherently to himself as his feet dragged along through the sand. It didn't take long for his drunken body to come crashing on his knees to the soft earth below.

He was sobbing into his right arm, saturating the sleeve with salty tears of sorrow. He couldn't bare he pain any longer. Even while under the influence of hard liquor, he knew the pain would never cease to exist no matter how many bottled he drank. It was too much, there was too much guilt.

Zacky knew there was only one thing he could do to stop the sorrow & guilt from consuming his entire body. He reached his right arm into the back of his pants before letting it fall to the ground under the weight of the new found object. Taking his left hand, he extended his index finger,bringing it softly into the sand before sloppily making a capital "A"

A few minutes passed before each letter of the word was complete. Very sloppily, (probably caused by the effects of alcohol), read the name "ALIVIA"

Zacky stared at the name for a long time, tears seeping from his hazel/green eyes which were now a dull, almost grey shade. It was time, he knew what he had to do now.

Raising his right hand slightly upward, he glanced down at the shiny silver gun that sat gleaming under the moonlight in his palms. This was it. He switched the cold metal object to his left hand before raising the barrel to his temple.

"I love you, Alivia." He spoke, tears still streaming down his pale cheeks as he shut his eyes as tightly as possible. And as he took his final deep breath in, heart pounding with anxiety, he forced his finger to squeeze the trigger.

And that was it, no pain, no sound, nothing.

As he slowly began to open his eyes, bright, almost blinding light came flooding in like the water through the levees in New Orleans. It stung his sensitive eyes at first, but when it passes it was like magic. It was the most beautiful might his eyes had ever set sight on.

Everything was so clear now. Faces in the distance were beginning to appear, there were so many. All of them staring , smiling, as if waiting for something to happen. One face in particular as smiling like crazy. Zacky's didn't know why, but the man looked so familiar, as if he had known him before.

"Any seconds now." The man spoke, that eager smile never fading from his perfect face.

And that's when it hit Zack, he did know that face, & that voice. It was Casey Calvert.

"Is-is this Heaven?" Zacky asked lowly, almost confused.

"Any second now." Was all Casey repeated.

Sure enough, mere seconds later came a women with long brown hair, dressed in a white dress rushing past all the people.

"Where is he, Casey?"

She spoke so quickly that Zack had barely noticed her presence until Casey stepped aside, revealing the two to each other.

"Zacky?" the women spoke, tears building in her reddish brown eyes.

"Alivia?"

And as each spoke the others name, they embraced one another in the most passionate, loving moment any one watching have ever witnessed.

When the reunion of the two lovers had ended, & they were walking hand in hand through the teary-eyes spectators, Zacky had to ask. "Where are we?"

Alivia simply smiled, a smile that could warm anyones heart & soul.

"We are home, my love, we are home."

And as the the two faded into the brightness ahead, it finally hit Zacky, this truly was a little piece of Heaven.