Unholy Confessions

I heard Matt ask Neche if Jason knew something he didn’t, and I turned my head to see her tell him not to worry about it. Aw, don’t lie to the poor guy sis, my heart told me to say, but I kept my mouth shut. The last thing I needed was to sound like a crazy person. Jason walked with me to class, prattling on about something or another, but I couldn’t pay attention.

“Earth to Mina,” he snapped his fingers and waved his hand in front of my face.

“Huh. What?”

“Everything okay with you girlie?”

I swallowed hard and nodded, plastering a phony smile on my face, “Peachy.”

He smiled insecurely and opened the door to homeroom for me. He sat next to me, but didn’t say a word the whole class. I was almost thankful for his silence, because it gave me time to think of a way to ask about his past girlfriends.

“Does it really matter though?” a small voice in the back of my head nagged, “it’s not like you two are dating.” I had to agree with myself on that one. God I sounded like a crazy person…

After class, Jason asked me to wait a minute before we walked to our next class. I nodded and followed him out the door with the rest of the people.

“Skip with me? I need to talk to you.”

“Jase… it’ll take all day?”

“Please Mina?”

I sighed, “Yeah sure. Just let me text Neche first.”

He nodded and waited until she texted me back, telling me to go for it.

“Alright, let’s go.”

He took my hand and led me out of the building. Today was exceptionally hot, so walking out of the cool, air conditioned building out into the hot, blinding California sun was almost unbearable. I groaned and pulled my sunglasses down to cover my dark brown eyes. Jason laughed and pulled me to the parking lot. I was surprised to see he led me to a dark blue pick up truck.

“What happened to the van?”

He laughed, “We didn’t have to pick anyone up this morning, so we took the truck instead of the van.”

He opened the door for me and helped me up into the cab, before walking around the front and getting into the drivers seat. Jason started the truck and took my hand as we drove out of the parking lot. After driving for thirty minutes, he pulled into the parking lot for a local beach.

“The beach?”

He grinned at me, “C’mon, let’s go for a walk.”

After helping me out of the truck, he took my hand and walked with me down the beach. I took my flip flops off and enjoyed the feel of wet sand . This was something I had missed living in Syracuse, and I can’t believe this was my first time returning since I got back home.

There was a light wind that made my light green tank sundress billow around my knees as we walked. I threw my hair up in a messy bun so it wouldn’t whip in my face and turned to face Jason.

“So what is this all about?” I asked cautiously.

He grinned sheepishly at me, and took a few moments before answering.

“I really really like you Mina.”

“I like you too Jason…”

“I’m not done. Please.”
I nodded and motioned for him to continue.

“I want you to be my girlfriend.”

“What? Really?”
He looked slightly taken aback, “Yeah, of course.”

“You don’t really know me, though,” I said quietly.

“What better way to get to know you?”

I laughed bitterly, and I didn’t know why. But suddenly I felt very resentful if myself.

“I mean, if you don’t want to be, then don’t.”

“Wait Jason. I do, I do want to be, it’s just…”

“What, Brian vying for your attention?”

“What? Why would you say that?”

“I don’t want to share you with him,” he whispered, taking my face in his hands. I couldn’t meet his gaze.

“What happened with your last girlfriend?”

“What?”

“Your last girlfriend. What happened.”

“Why?”

“Brian said I should ask you before assuming you would never cheat on me.”

Anger flashed in his dark brown eyes, “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I flinched.

“No, I’m not mad at you Mina. I swear,” he sighed in frustration and pulled away from me.

“Jase…”

Jason shook his head and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. After offering me one, he placed his between his lips and lit up.

“Please, whats going on?”

He ran his hand through his hair and laughed, “Ha. Fucking piece of shit just can’t let me forget.”

“Forget what?”

“I cheated. Once. I don’t even remember doing it. I never wanted to hurt her. I would never hurt you. I would never let myself into the same position I did that night. Mina, I swear to you.”

I could only stare at him. Finally, I closed my eyes and took a hit of my own cigarette.

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel this connection between us, Mina. You can’t deny this.”
I looked him dead in the eye, “You’re right. I can’t.”

“Then don’t.” he threw his cigarette down and pulled me to him, his lips crashing down on mine.

“Be mine,” he whispered against my lips.

“Yes, okay.”
He smiled, wrapped his arm around me and stared out at the surf.