Will Things Ever Change?

Its been two weeks since I slept with Zack and I've avoiding him ever since. Which has been causing me to avoid everybody else. My excuse is that I'm looking for a job. Its not really a lie. I have been looking for a job. I have one. I work at Hot Topic, but they all think I'm still looking for a job. Hell Belle doesn't even know I have a job. She's always with Zack now anyway. I don't really know what's going through that man's mind. But I really want to know why he slept with and just up and left. I'm mad as hell about that but I haven't confronted him about it yet. I haven't had the guts to do it. I will as soon as I stop avoiding him. I'm such a goddamn chicken.

I lied down in my bed and looked up at the ceiling. I turned to look at the clock and it flashed in red 2:45 pm. I groaned I didn't have work today and Belle was with Zack. Everyone else is out doing something. I'm officially bored as hell. I grabbed the pillow next to me and screamed into it out of frustration.

I'm a Barbie girl
In a Barbie world
Life is plastic
Its fantastic...

I laughed reaching for my phone noticing it was Val calling me. I flipped it open and stifled my laughter.

"Hey woman what cha doin?" I was still laughing slightly "What are you laughing about? Wait you put my ring tone as Barbie girl again didn't you?" I nodded even though she couldn't see it.

"Um no..."

"Ah I knew it why do you insist on making that my ring tone?"

"Because it reminds me of you?"

"Fuck you." She said laughing.

"Name a time and place Babe." I said seductively

"Nope sorry thats Matt's job. But Zack would definitely take up the offer." I stopped laughing cause it reminded me of sleeping with Zack. "Dawn? DAWN!" She shouted into the phone.

"Ah what?"

"You spaced out on me. Were you thinking about Zack?"

"No..."

"Yes you were something happened between you two I can feel it thats why you've been avoiding us. Spill it woman!"

"Isleptwithhim." I mumbled.

"Ah sorry can't here you."

"Isleptwithhim."

"Woman speak up"

"I slept with him!" I practically shouted.

"You're kidding when?"

"When you all went off to get food that day and I as taking a shower. There were no towels and I couldn't find any. Long story short I went looking around his house practically naked for a towel and he caught me looking and he both ended up naked and it his bed."

"Well shouldn't you be happy, you're back together!"

"That doesn't mean we're back together Val. And when we were finished he just got up and left. We haven't said I word to each other since."

"You're kidding?"

"Nope. Not one word."

"I'm gonna kick his pudgy ass."

"Val don't. I gotta sort this out on my own."

She sighed deeply "Fine. But changing the subject why didn't you tell us you got a job?"

"He'd you know?"

"Me and Nat saw you working the cash register at Hot Topic, so spill when to you get the job?"

"Ah a week ago. I was avoiding Zack hence why I didn't tell you guys."

"You've been keeping a lot of secrets from me. Next you'll tell me you're really some bald forty year old man named Johnson."

"Damn it you found me out." I said laughing.

"Oh shut up, I didn't even call you for this, I'm telling you me and Matt are having a barbecue and you are going to be there."

"Ah fine. I'll be over in a while."

"Good. Now hurry up."

"You can wait, I just have to take a shower, get changed, straighten my hair, do my make up-"

Val cut me off "Alight alright. I get it just get here when you can woman."

"Fine. Bye."

"Bye." I heard a click and sighed as I got out of my bed and got ready to go over to Val's place.

I slowly pulled up into Val's driveway and got out of my car. I wasn't planning on going swimming so I left my swimsuit in the truck. I got out of my car and walked towards the back cause I could here music. I opened the door connected to the fence and stepped into Matt and Val's back yard. I was instantly filled with the aroma of grilled food and music. I smirked to myself as Sidewinder blasted through the speakers.

"You guys would be playing your own songs at a barbecue." Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me.

"Mama!" Belle screamed running up to me I bent down and hugged her and picking her up at the same time.

"Hey Beauty."

"Mama I haven't seen you all week."

"I know, Mama was working."

"You got a job."

"Why yes I did Beauty at Hot Topic."

"Oh I love that store."

"I know you do, maybe you can come with me one day."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Yeah!"

"What is she so happy about?" Johnny asked

"Mama works at Hot Topic!"

"Sweet so you can get me discounts right?"

I rolled my eyes "If I wanted to yes I could. But I love you so I get you discounts."

"Sweet free booze when I go to Johnny's cause Natalie works there and discounts at Hot Topic." Johnny's smile was wide to the point that it was scary.

"Calm down short stuff."

"Your shorter than me."

"Thats not the point. I'm hungry." I stated completely changing the subject. I put Belle down and we started walking towards the food. I noticed Zacky eying me as I walked past him.

"Mama I want ice cream."

"Its in the freezer Belle come with me and we can get you the flavor you want." Matt said.

"Okay." He picked her up and they went inside the house. I just picked up a plate and started stacking all the food I wanted. I noticed everybody was off in their own little worlds and Zacky was sitting by the pool alone. I decided it was a good time to talk to him about what happen. I walked over to him and sat down on the opposite lounge chair.

"Hey."

"What?"

"Can we talk?"

"About what?"

"Zack don't pretend you don't remember what happened."

"I'm trying to forgot what happened."

"You're trying to forget? You're the one that lead me on."

He chuckled in disbelief "I lead you on?" He shook his head. "You know you're still the same whore I thought you were."

This stupid motherfuc- "Excuse me?" I could feel my anger rising. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You slept with me right after you banged Jimmy."

"Are you that fucking stupid? I never slept with Jimmy!" I shouted and I could feel everyone's eyes on us.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit."

"Bullshit? You're the one thats full of it. You're just to damn stubborn to admit you were wrong about everything." He just got up.

"I need a drink I don't feel like dealing with you right now." He started walking away.

"Oh hell no." I pushed him back.

"You slept with me for a reason I wanna know what it was. And just because you're jealous of Jimmy for something that never happened don't start acting like you're the victim. I swear I am so sick of your shit its ridiculous. Why can't you just admit you were wrong? Huh why?"

"Because I'm not wrong about anything."

"You were wrong for using me like that Zack!"

"Pft I'm sure I'm not the only man that's used you Sweetie." And with that something in me just snapped. I screamed out in rage and tackled him, causing both of us to go crashing into the pool. I felt myself sink down towards the bottom of the pool and I was still trying to attack Zack. I had my hands wrapped around his throat as he floated to the surface. I was doing anything I able to do to him. Everything that I'd been holding inside of me for years had finally came out. I was crawling, scratching and biting at him. I wasn't caring what I was doing I was just trying to inflict on him as much pain as he had been putting on me. I was dunking his head under the water. I wasn't really caring that I was trying to drown the man in one of his best friend's swimming pools.

"Why can't you just admit you were wrong!" I kept screaming, trying to get an answer from him. Its not like he can answer me if he's choking but I wasn't thinking about that. I think I was close to drowning him when I was pulled away from him and yanked back towards the edge of the pool. "Why can't you admit you were wrong? Why can't you believe me?" I could tell tears were streaming down my cheeks but I was soaked so it really didn't matter. I was pulled out of the pool and wrapped into someone's wet chest. I looked up and realized it was Brian. I looked towards the pool to see Johnny and Jimmy both Helping Zack out the pool. He was knelled over on all fours and coughing up water. I let my tears flow freely. I didn't care. I wanted him to see the pain he was causing me. He looked up at me still breathing extremely heavy.

"Psycho bitch." He was barely able to breathe out. I started to lunge at him again but was yanked back into Brian's chest. And with that I completely broke down. I was crying into his chest and grabbing onto his t-shirt. We was rubbing my back and 'sshing' me.

"Hey guys whats going on? Me and Belle heard I big splash and-" Matt's voiced trailed off. I guess he figured out what was going on. I was still buried into Brian's chest so I couldn't see anything but the fabric off his dark blue t-shirt.

"Why is Daddy and Mama wet?" Belle asked. I refuse to let her see me cry.

"Um they both really wanted to go swimming so they just jumped in." Jimmy said trying to cover everything up.

"I think that Dawn needs to go lie down." Michelle said. I could feel Brian nod has he picked me up and I cling ed on to his shirt like a three year old and guided me into the house.

"Is Mama gonna be okay?"

"She'll be find Belle." Natalie reassured her. I just buried my face deeper into Brian's chest as he led me upstairs into Matt and Val's spare bedroom. He gave me a towel and one of Matt's t-shirts. All the energy I had just drained and I was to exhausted to do anything. So Brian had to dry and change me. We both knew Michelle wouldn't have minded. He placed me in the bed and kissed my forehead.

"Do you need me to stay with you?" I couldn't speak so I just nodded. He sighed and sat on the edge of the bed and ran his fingers through my soaking wet hair luring me to sleep and causing my tears to stop.