Will Things Ever Change?

Four long days on the road and we were finally close to Huntington. I looked through the rear view mirror to see Belle sleeping. I smiled to myself, but frowned as the Welcome to Huntington sign came into view. More like welcome to hell. I just continued to drive down the familiar streets that seemed foreign to me now, until we arrived at the house that I was piratically raised in. I sighed here goes nothing. I pulled into the drive way. Belle was still sleeping. I got out and picked her up and walked to the front door. I knocked with my free hand and the door instantly opened.

"Dawn! I'm so glad you're here" She looked over at Belle sleeping in my arms and froze. "Is-is that Belle?" She stuttered. I nodded, she looked at Belle shocked but a smile crept across her face. There was no doubt about it she knew. "Com'on she'll stay in Zack's room" We when I left Everything was the same except it was clean. So many things had happened in this room. The first time he told me he loved me, the first time we made love, Hell even Belle was conserved in this room

I lied her down in his bed. She curled up under the sheets and started sucking her thumb. Its allows been a habit she's never been able to break. I stopped worrying about it along time ago. I still do it sometimes. We walked out of the room but left the door open. We ended up sitting in the living room. We were silent for a while too.

"Belle's my grand daughter isn't she?" I looked down at my feet.

"Yes"

"So why didn't you stay and let him help raise her?"

"I tried, but he denies her. He kept saying I cheated on him. I just stopped trying to convince him."

"The guys didn't try and help you?"

"He convinced them that I was cheating too. I tried so hard but they had their minds made up."

"Didn't he see her? She looks just like him. Her eyes give it away."

"No when I told him I was pregnant he instantly denied being the father. My parents kicked me out and I left before Belle was born."

"You know you could have stayed with me."

"I just couldn't handle being near everything."

She sighed "Well I'm glad your here now. I'm not going to try and make excuses for him because he's my son, what he did was wrong and he's missing out in his daughter's life, plus he's put you through heel. I understand completely why this was your last option. And I know it must be painful being here." I couldn't rally say anything. She was right. Through out everything it wasn't just emotional pain I was feeling it got so bad it became physical too. Yeah I have depression but I can't afford a prescription to treat it. Trying to take care of Belle and myself has been hectic. Just thinking about all of this brought tears to my eyes and the pain was starting to kick in. I breathed deeply as the pain surged through my stomach.

"Are you okay Dawn?" I shook my head no and explained to her what was happening. "Oh dear, lets get you up to the guest room so you can lie down." She helped me up and we started going up the stairs. We almost got to the guest room, when Belle called for me. I tried turning around to go to her.

"No you need to lie down I'll take care of her."

"No, I need to be with her." She sighed in defeat and let go of me. I rushed into Zack's room, to see Belle's tear stained face.

"Beauty what's wrong?"

"I want daddy" I felt tears well up in my eyes. Not again this happened every time she wanted Zack. And it kills me inside seeing her like this and knowing I can't do anything about it.

"Beauty daddy's not here."

"But why?"

"I don't know."

"Mommy does he love us?" That's a good question does he? Did he ever love us?

"Yes Beauty he does."

"Then why haven't I met him?"

"He's busy."

"Can you play my song please?" Tears sprang into my eyes.

"Of coarse Beauty" I went to her bag and pulled out the CD, put in the CD player and pressed play. The familiar song that brought me to tears every time it filled my ears. It was Daughter To Father by Lindsey Lohan. It related to Belle's situation so much. I got back on the bed and held her in my arms as she cried into my chest. My whole body ached as I tried to calm my tears. I hated Zack for this no five year old should feel like this. We eventually fell asleep crying.

I woke in Zack's room alone and I panicked. Until I heard the TV downstairs and I could smell food. I got out of his bed and was relieved that my pain had subsided. I easily made it downstairs. I watched in the living room door frame as Ms. Baker and Belle eat in front of the TV watching Sponge bob. Belle turned around on the sofa and looked at me.

"Grandma, Mommy's awake!" She ran and hugged my legs. When did she tell Belle who she was? I just shrugged it off.

"Hey Beauty having fun with Grandma?"

"Yep." She stared up at me with her jade green eyes.

"Do you wanna go to the beach today?" Her eyes lite up when I said this.

"Yeah."

"Alright get ready." She jumped up and ran up the stairs.

"I didn't tell her who her father was."

"Thank you."

"So you're really going to the beach?"

"Yeah I figure I need to relax, the beach always does that for me, plus I wanna show Belle around. Do you want to come?"

"Oh no I'll only be a bother. You need to have some fun with your daughter."

"Fine." I went upstairs to help Belle get ready, then I got myself done. When we were done we headed out the door and to the pier. I was excited about relaxing today. But I forgot today was Saturday and Beach Day