Soulmates

Sierra's POV

His body crushed against me, and I had to put much strength to try and keep us both standing. However, I failed miserably as we both fell down the floor, Brian's weak frame towering over me, his eyes closed.

I had no time to do anything, though, because the minute he fell unconscious, everyone came and got Brian off of me, taking him back to the bunks so I was once again left all alone. I had absolutely no idea how I was going to make it through the night, and in all honesty, I didn't feel there was any reason for me to do just that.

So I just laid on the couch, not bothering to find anything to cover myself with. I couldn't feel the coldness or the warmth, I couldn't feel anything but the ache coming from a huge hole that seemingly had been opened in my heart.

I simply closed my eyes, and wished that everything that had happened was just a bad dream that would dissolve the moment I opened them again.

Brian's POV

I had absolutely no clue what I was supposed to do. I felt numb, like every single part of me had been crushed and set on fire. I could hardly focus on breathing, all of a sudden even this small, regular activity seemed so damn hard. But again, everything is difficult when there isn't any reason behind them. And I guess that was how I felt right then; like there was no point in me living anymore.

A few minutes ago I'd passed out without any reason, but it was rather obvious why; My organism was already weak and the sudden turn of events simply made everything worse.

Ultimately, I couldn't explain everything I felt. She was my everything, I just couldn't understand why she'd done it. All of our memories, all the words we said to each other, all the promises we made obviously meant nothing to her. She'd simply chosen to toy with my heart, even though she swore she was different. The explanation was pretty simple, but I couldn't bring myself to accept it.

One thing was certain, though: Tonight, I wasn't going to sleep. It was, both physically and mentally, impossible. I kept tossing and turning, but there was no result, I was only fooling myself. So, after much thinking, I got out of my bunk, and headed towards the living room area.

I tried to avoid even looking at her, but couldn't help myself. Sierra was sleeping on the couch, her arms wrapped around herself in an effort to keep herself warm. I felt my heart break at the thoughts of me and her no longer being able to cuddle, laugh, go out holding hands together.

I stood there, just looking at her, for a few minutes before the sound of quiet sniffling forced me to get out of my trance state. No matter how things were between us right then, I couldn't stop the ache that rushed through my veins the moment I heard anything that indicated she was crying.

I silently rushed in the bunks, and came back seconds earlier holding my blanket. I got closer to her, and covered her frame, trying my hardest not to wake her up. After that I kneeled down next to her, reaching at her beautiful, sleeping face. Tears were still running down her cheeks, and I brushed them off softly.

I kept my hand on her face, caressing it until she somehow stopped crying. Although her actions felt like a dozen of knives being stabbed in my chest repeatedly, her cries felt like a chainsaw doing the exact same thing.

The moment I stood to leave though, she opened her eyes. Her beautiful, brown orbs now held only pain. I just stared at her, knowing that my eyes only held the same emotion. She didn't say anything, simply stood up herself and looked at me.

" Br-ian... I... I... ", her whispers reached my ears, and I tried my damn hardest to stop myself from breaking down again.

" S-ierra, d-on't ... J-ust don't ... I'm n-ot ready for this. I couldn't sle-ep, so I c-ame here and saw you w-ere cold, so I brought you a blan-ket... That's a-ll ... ", I said, not wanting her to think there was anything more in my actions than just that.

" Pl-ease, Brian ... Don't...Don-'t hate m-e ... ", she whispered, and then sighed loudly as she sat herself down the couch again.

" I... I fucked u-p agai-n... D-idn't I? I fuc-ked up everything on-ce again ... B-ut Brian, i-f you let me explain everything you'll s-ee that I-", she tried saying, but I cut her off.

" I don't want to h-ear it... Sierra, I really don't. Right n-ow, nothing you say can ma-ke me feel any b-etter. Honestly, I f-eel like I'm de-ad, okay ? I j-ust don't know anything ... ", I said quietly, realizing that tears were running down my face too.

" An-d yeah, you'll... You'll t-ry to justify yourself, c-onvince m-e it's n-ot what it look-ed like and everything, b-ut the truth is that I j-ust cann-ot put myself through the proce-ss of h-earing everything ab-out it on-ce again... S-o please, j-ust don't ... ", I said with as much force I had in me. She sniffled again, but nodded quickly.

" O-okay, if that's wh-at you w-ant... I-f that w-ill make y-ou feel any b-etter ... ", she whispered softly and I could swear my heart swell at her words, but I tried my best not to show it as I wiped the tears off my face and silently cursed at myself.

" N-othing will m-ake me feel better ... ", I murmured as I headed towards the kitchen. I opened a cupboard and found some aspirin. I sighed and took the whole bottle out before opening the fridge's door, smirking bitterly as I spotted an unopened bottle of Jack staring at me. I grabbed it too and started heading towards the bunks again, before Sierra stopped me.

" D-on't do that ... ", her faint whispers sent shivers down my spine as I turned around and faced her. She was still in tears, if possible the tears had been multiplied.

" M-ixing drugs with alcoh-ol ... It's n-ot.. N-ot a g-ood id-ea ... ", she continued, and I simply looked away. Her cries echoed in all the bus, as we were the only persons awake.

" D-on't worry, it's j-ust aspirin... Noth-ing worse w-ill happen ... ", I murmured, and right when I was about to leave she grabbed my arm, her hold of course being nothing I couldn't physically overcome.

" B-rian, please t-tell me... Pr-omise me y-ou have no drugs with y-ou... Heroin-e, cocaine, sp-eed, nothing ... Pl-ease... I-f you want to ta-ke something to help... To help you sleep then f-ine... B-ut please.... Pr-omise me that you won't d-o a-ny drugs tonight... N-ot with that b-ottle in your hands ... ", she whispered.

To be perfectly honest, I'd thought of doing drugs. There was nothing in the whole world that could fix me like heroine could. However, I knew I'd promised her that I'd never do that again. I also had to keep in mind that the whole band wouldn't really be okay if something occurred due to the mix of alcohol and drugs.

So I looked at her, feeling the tears once again running down my cheeks before I answered.

" Un-like y-ou, I don't b-reak the promis-es I make ... ", I said to her, and immediately went in the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I let myself fall down the floor, my back pressed against the door as I held my head in my hands and simply cried. I tried to keep it as quiet as possible as I didn't want her to understand what was happening, even though I knew she was standing right outside the door.

Sierra's POV

The moment the door closed I could hear Brian's body collapsing, I could hear his sniffling and muffled cries. Those sounds only made my heart shatter, knowing that right then I was the reason he was dying inside.

I gathered up as much power as I could and went even closer to the door. Now I could hear it all crystal clear; it was almost as if I could see what was happening, as if there was no door separating us.

I kneeled down, pressing my back against the door, a position I was absolutely sure he was in right then. I sighed before talking, trying to keep my tears from falling.

" I n-ever broke any of the promises I gave to you... I-t would be as if I was betraying myself... And I know that right now you think that I'm just saying bullshit, but believe me Brian, I would n-ever betray y-ou ... Not like this, not in any way possible ...", I said quietly, and heard that his cries had somehow become less intense.

" S-o, whatever it is you're feeling r-ight now, b-e sure I feel it t-oo... That agony that everything in m-e will j-ust seize to ex-ist i-f we.... If w-e end... B-ut Brian I...", I said and stopped for some seconds, taking deep breaths in and out in a desperate effort to keep myself from breaking down completely, " ... I love you... I could n-ever lie about that to anyone... And that s-ure as hell is a promise... A promise that I'll never break...", I finished and quickly stood up, not feeling able to face him a-gain. I wrapped myself in the blanket he'd given me, and prayed to God that sleep would capture me once again.

Brian's POV

Her words only made me doubt everything more. After some minutes I managed to calm myself down and got out of the bathroom, only to realize that Sierra was now sleeping. I sighed and went close to her. I softly kissed her forehead, something that immediately made her face relax a bit. I smiled a bit to myself as I heard the words leaving my mouth without even realizing it.

" I love you too, Sierra ... ".

As I stood up again, though, my eyes landed on the envelope. I grabbed it and once again saw the photos. Immediately the familiar sense of betrayal rushed within me, and I tossed them down the floor. I let out a silent grunt as I grabbed the bottle of Jack and started drinking my sorrow away.

After some minutes I could tell I was pretty wasted, I'd downed almost the whole fucking thing. I tried standing up, but failed miserably as everything around me were spinning. After all, I had to be extra careful not to wake Sierra up. Yes, even in my drunken state I was thinking of her. Apparently not even alcohol could take her off my mind.

Right then, though, I felt a hand gripping on my shoulder, and I turned around to face a rather fine looking Michelle smirking at me.

" Need any help there, baby? ", she said, her voice smooth and confident. I nodded instantly.

" Okay, come here, let me help you ...", she said, and after some minutes we both stood up, me leaning heavily against her. Michelle was used to that, though; after all, we'd practically gone through our teenage years together.

" I... I love her, 'Chelle ... I told h-er she was my everything, I fucking tr-usted her with my h-eart, and she simply took it and stomped over i-t... I... I wan-t to fucking d-ie, Mich, that's all I want t-o do ... ", I started whining, thanks to the immense amount of alcohol that was now running in my veins.

" Oh, Brian, why would we want that? I think you can do something even better ... ", she smirked at me, and I looked at her.

" What are you talking about, 'Chelley? ", I asked in a weird, cheery tone as I tried to ask myself why the hell was I even talking to her.

" I'm saying that maybe... It's time for you to get your righteous revenge... Make her feel exactly the way she forced you to feel ... ", she whispered and immediately her hands found my crotch. I groaned silently and cursed as her hand gripped my thigh, slowly reaching up.

" Oh, God, Brian... How long has it been since you actually had some ? ", she whispered in a hoarse tone, her hand caressing my strong erection.

" 'Chelle, don't ... ", I tried saying, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

" Brian, don't try to bring yourself to deny it... You know you want it, all of it... Plus, she did the same thing with another guy, she betrayed you ... It's only fair you do the same thing to her... ", she smirked, and before I had any time to answer, she crushed her lips on mine.

Everything that happened afterwards was just a blur. All I knew next morning was that I was laying naked in my bunk. And right by my side, laid a naked Michelle.