Blue And Yellow

I sat in my car at a gas station in Quartzsite. I was almost to the Arizona border. I flashed back to John's green eyes and hurt face. I wondered what he was doing right now. 
"Oh fuck!" I said outloud to myself. I rememered the CD he gave me. I cautiously pulled it out of my purse like it was a poisonous snake. I pulled it out of the case, took a deep breath, and popped it in the CD player. A quiet strumming of a guitar started. It was an acousitc track.
"She thinks I'm crazy, judging by the faces that she's making, and I think she's pretty, but pretty's just part of the things she does that amaze me." he sang in his grainy but beautiful voice. I got goosebumps and my eyes started watering. As the song ended, I turned off my radio. I didn't want to hear any other songs right now. That one alone had sent a terrible pain into my stomach. I wanted to punch him. I knew he gave me this on purpose. He had it all planned out in his head. I was going to listen to it and run right back to him. Either he was thinking it to be incredibly sweet, or he thought I was fucking weak. My phone started vibrating. It was Garrett.
"Helllllo?" I smiled into the phone.
"Did you leave yet?" he asked, hope in his voice.
"Oh, Garrett I had to split fast. I'm sorry." I frowned.
"Uggggh I was asleep! Damn!" I could hear the sadness creeping up in his voice.
"John pulled his whole 'I'm going to say stuff I know will make her angry' game and I just left without thinking. We can skype later though." I smiled.
"Deal. Well I'll let you go. Be safe." he said.
"Bye Garrett." I hung up.
I backed out of the gas station, turned on the radio, and drove off down the highway.

When I reached Riverside I let out a sigh of relief. 
"Almost there. I actually did it." I said out loud to myself.
I decided to listen to the rest of the CD.  He had recorded covers of our favorite songs that we played at parties and on roadtrips. Songs he knew would get to me. And the whole CD was acoustic. Just him and his guitar. He knew I loved that too. He'd always play for me when we would hang out together in his room listening to old records with his huge headphones, or fucking around on Photobooth. I wasn't in love with John. We never made anything we did official. Sure, we drunkenly made out a few times, and he would confess his love to me when he drank a whole bottle of Jack Daniels all by himself some nights but I never took him seriously. He always joked about it afterwards, like it was all just for fun. I felt that way too. We enjoyed each others company. Why make things a sticky mess? We agreed on almost everything. Almost everything. We met in 3rd grade, becoming best friends almost instantly because of our matching Nirvana shirts. We had the same taste in music, and had the same weird thoughts. Senior year, him and four of his friends got together and formed a band, getting signed 5 months later to a small, yet widely known label called Fearless. They were working on their first full length. He told me he was going to call it 'Can't Stop, Won't Stop' because he liked the way the initials looked. 

My phone vibrated. I was getting another call. I looked at the caller ID. I rolled my eyes. It was John. The picture almost made me start crying again. It was from a bonfire at Max's house a few weeks ago. He was laughing in it. His beautiful eyes glowing. I turned my phone over and continued on to Los Angeles, pushing John to the back of my mind.