Blue And Yellow

Greg was all over me. He put his hands up my shirt and shoved his tongue down my throat. I moaned for him to stop as he ran his fingers over my nipples. He pulled off my shirt. I thought of John. John. 
"JOHN!" I screamed out.
"He's not here. You never showed up. When I caught wind that you and John were a thing, well I kind of lost my cool." Greg hissed. He threw me to the floor. I didn't have the strength to fight back. I was blacking out fast.
He pulled my pants off. He didn't waste any time. He pushed into me. I screamed out and cried for John. 
"He's not here. Remember that the next time you see him. He wasn't here to rescue you. He's probably having the time of his life right now." he grunted.

I woke up the next morning in pain, and my pants were gone. Greg was sitting on the edge of my bed holding a tape.
"Johnny Ohh is going to love this when he gets back." 
'Oh no. I fucked Greg. I was drunk and.. Oh no.' I thought.
"Greg please don't." I started to get up but I got a burning pain in my stomach.
"I have to bounce," he laughed "but enjoy your day." he got up and walked out.
I didn't know what to do. I cheated on John. He would never forgive me. After I told him not to sleep with random girls, after one night, one fucking night, I cheat on him. What have I done? I managed to get up and go to the bathroom to throw up. I knew I had drank last night. What would I say to John? How would I say it?
I pulled out my phone and called him.
"Helllllo!" he chimed.
"John, we need to break up." I spat out fastly.
"Wait, what, why?" he said all three as quick as I spat out the last six words.
"It just isn't going to work." I started sobbing.
"Please tell me what you're thinking." he pleaded. I could see his face in my head. Desperation and hope clouding his eyes.
I hung up the phone, laid down in my bed, and cried. John tried calling me 14 more times. I sat there and watched them all go to voicemail.
 I tried so hard to remember last night. I wanted to die. I had the only thing I ever wanted and I ruined it.
"I'M A WHORE." I screamed into my pillow. That's all I could choke out.

Three days had passed. I ignored my phone, didn't leave the house, and sat on the couch watching shitty soap operas. I felt like I was living one.
Halfway through All My Children, Garrett called.
"Hello?" I cautiously answered.
"John is in shambles. He's been on a 5 day drinking binge. I'm scared." Garrett wimpered.
"Don't let him drink?" I said, irritated.
"He beat the shit out of Jared last night because he was harboring all the alcohol from him." 
"Well, I don't know Garrett what do you want me to do from here? I haven't talked to John in days." I ran my hands through my hair. 
"I don't know Amy, but he's going to kill himself if he doesn't stop." Garrett sounded worried.
"Just watch him, okay?" it was all I could say.
"Alright. I miss you. I hope you're genuinely well." he sweetly said.
"I miss you too Garrett. Goodnight."