I'm in Love with My Best Friend Nick Jonas

I picked up my laptop, went to google and typed in ‘nick jonas’ in the search bar, hitting enter when I was done. Pages of links popped up as results and my eyes landed on one in particular that caught my eye.

The memory that came into my mind had to be one of the scariest memories I have with the boys; the day Nick was diagnosed with Diabetes.

It was a great day in New Jersey, early 2005 to be exact. My mom thought it’d be best for me to hang out with the Jonas’ for the weekend while she worked since it was the summer still in Florida for the school year.

We’d visited a river in Wyckoff, but I had stayed far away from getting into the water unless it was with one of my fish otherwise known as Kevin, Joe, or Nick.

I came up with the nickname a few years back when the boys learned how to swim while I was still deathly afraid of drowning.

We were playing that day, but Nick, 13 at the time, had been acting weird. He was rude and had been odd altogether. Joe, now 16, approached me in his yellow and red swimming trunks, drenched from head to toe while I sat on the dock of the river, my legs dangling over the edge as I watched Kevin, now 18, and Nick play with their younger brother, Frankie.

If I didn’t talk to Kevin about my problems, I talked to Nick, but Joe was like my brother from another mother, in terms of fun, of course.

“Rosie, what are you doing over here by yourself?” Joe asked, shooting a glare at Nick even though he couldn’t see it.

I, now 14 going on 15 going on at the time, shrugged my shoulders. My hair was still to my shoulder blades, but I’d grown into an average-sized figure. I was in a green and white bathing suit, my hair was straight and down as usual.

I sighed at Joe.

“I don’t know. Don’t you think Nick’s been acting strange today?” I asked.

I thought back to my previous relationships I’d had after I last saw the boys, sighing deeply again. Maybe he was mad at me for having more boyfriends or something. I didn’t know.

Joe’s voice brought me out of my thoughts.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with Nick today. He’s barely talked to you, now that I think about it”, he admitted, but stopped, realizing his words didn’t make me feel any better.

I didn’t speak, but continued watching Nick, my heart breaking when our eyes met. He diverted his attention back to the water as he swam with Frankie causing me to stand, walking back to the shore.

“Rose! Rose, wait!” Joe called, looking from me to Nick and back again.

I ignored his cries, walking to the cabin the Jonas’ owned at the time. I walked to my room which I shared with Nick again and began packing my things. If he didn’t want me around, then I sure as hell wasn’t going to stay here.

Denise and Paul were currently at a local store to buy groceries leaving me alone in the house. I’d walked to the closet, opening it to find my suitcases. I had two this time seeing as I was going to stay for a week with them.

I pulled my clothes down from the hangers I’d hung them up on when we first got there the previous day, stuffing each article of clothing into the suitcase. Soon enough, though, I felt my eyes water with fresh tears finding myself falling to the ground in a fit.

I didn’t know how long I sat there, but it felt like a few minutes before Kevin appeared, asking frantic questions trying to get me to tell him what was wrong. I only cried.

Soon enough, though, we heard a call from their parents. I wiped my tears away, recomposing myself as I led Kevin downstairs slowly.

“Don’t tell anyone I cried, OK?” I whispered.

Kevin nodded knowingly. I suppose Joe told him I was upset.

“Alright, but you’re not leaving, are you?” he asked worriedly.

I looked away from him, unable to answer his question honestly. I was full of mixed emotions and staying there wasn’t helping me one bit.

Nick, Joe, and Frankie entered the door, each person carrying a bag or two. Immediately, I went to Nick, trying to get a bag, but he rolled his eyes and kept a good grip on them, huffing past me.

I felt a stab in my heart before walking outside to get more bags. I could only hope things weren’t going to stay this way.

…

After we helped Denise put away the groceries, the boys (excluding Frankie) and I headed back outside to the river to relax and just think. I’d be starting high school this coming fall and I had a lot on my mind. Would it be easy? Would it be fun? What about the people I’d befriend? Would they be nice?

I didn’t know the answer to those questions at the time thinking deeply until I felt a splash of water on my right leg, bringing me out of my thoughts.

“You alright, Rose?” Kevin asked, bumping me lightly with his shoulder.

My eyes drifted to Nick who sat on Joe’s left which was two people down from me since Kevin sat on my right. Nick’s eyes met my own and I decided to reluctantly speak.

“No, I’m not”, I answered.

“What’s wrong?” Nick asked with an attitude.

“You are. You haven’t talked to me all day as though I did something to you”, I answered in a low tone, trying not to argue with him.

“What does that have to do with anything? I see you every year and things are always the same. Why should it matter if I talk to you or not?” he asked, staring at the water.

“Nick!” Joe exclaimed in shock.

“Yeah, that was uncalled for, bro”, Kevin added.

I didn’t speak. I merely stood, heading back to the cabin. I walked a foot before turning to face them, staring at Nick’s back.

“It matters because you’re my best friend! Do you know what I have to go through back at home? I wouldn’t think you would since you don’t talk to me or haven’t for the past few months! If you don’t want me to be around, then I’ll leave and never come back”, I promised.

Silence fell over us for a few moments before Nick turned to face me, standing as well before he, too spoke.

“If you want to leave, then leave”, he said in the harshest tone I’d ever heard him use.

I tried searching his eyes with my own, but I quickly gave up, turning on my heel as I resumed my walk. I heard footsteps following me, then heard and felt a loud thud before Kevin and Joe spoke.

“Nick!” they cried.

I turned, seeing Nick a few feet closer to me than he was before, but was laying front-first on the dock. I didn’t know what was going on, but my body acted on its own.

I ran to him, turning him over to lay on his back. His head rested on my lap and I began to feel the tears fall from my eyes.

“Joe, go and get mom and dad”, Kevin ordered.

Joe took off. I noticed Kevin’s pale face before rubbing Nick’s own trying to get him to stir a little.

“Rose, you and I will get Nick to the car, OK?” he asked.

I nodded, frantically as I tried clearing my mind to do what Kevin asked.

I held Nick’s legs while Kevin supported most of Nick’s weight. I didn’t know what to think or what to do for that matter.

Mr. and Mrs. Jonas appeared with Frankie in their arms while Joe swiftly took Nick out of my arms, beckoning me to load up in the car. I didn’t remember anything after that. Not the arrival to the hospital, only how Nick was taken away from us so quickly then before I knew it, we were in the waiting room just waiting.

…

After almost an hour later, the doctor appeared with a clipboard in his hands. Denise and Paul stood while the rest of us sat. A sleepy Frankie rested in Kevin’s lap as the doctor walked closer to speak to us all.

“How is Nick, doctor?” Mr. Jonas asked.

“Nick is stable now”, he answered with a small smile.

I felt a sigh of relief wash over all of us until he spoke again.

“However, Nick has type One Diabetes”, he said in a solemn tone.

I drowned him out due to shock after that until Joe spoke.

“Can we see him?” he asked.

All eyes landed on him instantly.

“Yes, but only two at a time. I’ll explain everything to him after you all have seen him”, he answered before walking away.

“Mom, Dad, you guys should see him first”, Kevin said.

“Alright, then after we see him, you and Joe can see him. Then, Rose and Frankie can afterwards”, Mr. Jonas agreed.

Everyone nodded in agreement and I watched as Denise and Paul walked towards his room. I didn’t know what to do or think. I could only think about Nick.