Positive

"Pro, you have an excuse to eat alot" Erin said as she scribbled another line onto her paper."Pro- you get to yell at people for no reason."

Erin had already broken out the ice cream to cheer me up. She was currently making a "Pro and Con" list. I was still taking Advil for my headaches. As Erin kept on talking I sort of ignored her and didn't listen to anything she said.

Suddenly I stood up and ran to the wind and threw up a mass of disgusting matter.
"Okay, holy crap okay, okay, okay- alllllllright" Erin said as she brought me to the bathroom where I continued to puke into the tub.

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"Um I'll take a large bud light, and do you have any virgin drinks for the pregors girl here?" Erin said to the Club Waitress. As the waitress walked away Erin continued to look through the menu "I swear these waitresses are looking slutier every time we come here," Erin muttered as she searched the club for anybody we know

"Erin how am I supposed to go through this alone? I mean how is this going to effect my job? And how am I supposed to talk to my home buyers when my stomach is the size of the freaking Rocky Mountains?" By that time my voice was getting shrill.

Erin was just staring at me through meek and understanding eyes then randomly stated:

"Hey I signed you and me up for a birthing class!"
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Everyone in the room stared at me and Erin as walked into the room late for class. All the woman in the room were sitting on exercise balls.

Me and Erin just aqwardly rolled one of the balls over to us and I sat on them.

When our birthing teacher Mrs. Ross walked in our attention quickly turned to her.

"Ladies, I'm not here to hold your hand while a fetus grows inside you and slowly turns you into one of these exercise balls here:Slow and fat. I'm here to get you to the state in which your okay knowing your crotch will expand so that a small little brat can slip on out and start to ruin your life. Now is there any questions ladies?"

The whole group in sync said "No,"

"Good, now picture this as your stomach," She pulled out a deflated balloon' "Now add 9 months to it," She picked up one of the pumps and began to push air into the balloon "And then have your baby" then she let all the air out of the balloon. "Look at your stomach:all flabby and full of stretch marks, So that's what you'll look like if you use my oil on your stomach- now's here what happens if you don't,' She then pumped the air back into the balloon, smiled and popped it.

Everyone in the room jumped "Doesn't looks fun, does it?" Everyone shook their heads.
"So pick up a bottle on your way out- Now I'll see your next week- get outa here lovers" She said sharply. No one needed a second invatation to get out of the room.

As we walked out Erin looked at me with fear in her eyes.
"Well she was...different" she said with a laugh.

"I'm surprised I didn't have the baby right there then!

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