Can't Stop, Won't Stop

Summer vacation sucked when all your friends were leaving, and you were staying. Not like there was any where else to go, really. But still, it sucked. It was the summer before the last year of school, and I had been looking forward to long summer nights partying, running around like an idiot, and I had had some of those already.. before the people I really wanted to spend time with all left to go visit family, or go shopping, or some other bullshit.

Seriously, it was like some magical force was like "Time to ruin John O'Callaghan's summer!" It was ridiculous.

So I sat there on the sidewalk, with a bottle of luke-warm water, ripped up skinny jeans and a plaid shirt that was making me a lot more hot than I wanted to be, and hated everything. I sulked, feeling ridiculously sorry for myself. I sighed, bumping my water bottle against the concrete. It fell from my hand and started rolling off the curb. I let out an annoyed grunt, and started to stand up and grab the bottle, when a small, slender hand picked it up, and passed it over to me. I looked up at the person who had retrieved the bottle for me, shielding my eyes from the sun as I did so.

A girl, about my age, with light brown hair and deep blue eyes, pink lips, and a smile on her face was looking down at me.

"Here you go." She said.

"Thanks..." I mumbled. She was really, really attractive. Being the teenage boy I was, I couldn't really take my eyes off her...especially when she was wearing that tank top and jean shorts.

"My names Leslie." She said, sticking her hand out. Her nails were painted robin egg's blue, and they brushed against my hand as I took hers. "I'm sort of new here."

"I'm John." I said, letting go of her hand(even though I didn't want to), and standing up, brushing my jeans off. "How are you enjoying it here so far?"

"It's nice. Sort of boring, though. I'm staying with my Dad for the summer. I live North from here. I don't know anyone, and I don't know where to go... It kinda sucks." She shrugged her shoulders, shaking her hair from her eyes.

"Yeah, all my friends left for summer vacation and stuff, so I'm here alone."

"That sucks." She said sympathetically. "Do you think you could give me directions on how to get downtown from here? I just live like two blocks away, and I have to walk..."

"I could give you a ride into town, if you want. Show you around." I said, hoping my offer wasn't too forward or creepy. Apparently, it wasn't, because she smiled broadly, and nodded.

"I'd love that."

"Alright, cool. I'll just, uh, borrow my parents car. Be right back." I said, getting up and started to sprint to the house, where the car keys were held on hook by the front door. I opened the door quickly, grabbed the keys, and ran back over to Leslie. She smiled brightly at me, and I gestured towards my parent's car. She got up, and walked over, her hips swaying, her hair blowing in the cool wind breaking through the summer heat, and all I could think of was "Hey, this summer may not be so bad after all."

"So, we live pretty close then, don't we?" Leslie said, as she got into the car. It smelled like gas and hot leather, and the air in the car was stale and hot and it was all together kind of just gross, but she didn't seem to mind. "I guess we'll be seeing each other a lot then."

"Hmm, maybe." I smiled at her, turning the keys in the ignition. "If you want."

"I need a friend here. So, yes, I want." She bit down on her pouty bottom lip as she said that, and I felt the blood rush away from my head.

"Sounds good."

She nodded, and rolled down the window as I started driving into town. Her hair whipped around and the car was filled with the sound of other vehicles racing by us, and the wind bouncing off our surroundings. I turned up the radio, and a moment later, she turned and looked back at me.

"Hey, John?"

"Mmmhmm?"

"Tell me about yourself. Lets get to know each other."

I made a face, shrugged my shoulders, and blew air through my lips so the sound it made sort of resembled those wire things that stopped doors and I was so enthralled by as a kid. "Um, next year is my last year of high school. I have two brothers. Parents. Some friends. No girlfriend. I sing. I play guitar. I dunno. What about you?"

"Well, I guess we're in the same grade. I have a baby sister, my parents are divorced. I live in Idaho with my Mom. I have friends too." She stuck her tongue out at me. "I have a boyfriend. His name is Trevor."

I raised an eyebrow.

"He plays soccer. He's really cute." She smiled at me, and watched for my reaction. I grimaced, but to her, it probably looked like a smile. She had no idea that that had just crushed my summer plans that I just formed in my head.

"Is he nice?"

Immediately, her expression, and body language changed. She shifted her body towards the window, and gazed out it, shrugging. "Yeah. He's nice."

I nodded. "Well, good for you. I'm sure he misses you."

She just nodded again, and I kept driving, thinking about this "Trevor" guy.

She had a boyfriend. Well, probably, I mean, she was gorgeous. She wanted to be friends with me, and I barely knew this chick, but the attraction I had for her was already undeniable.

Maybe, by the end of this summer, that boyfriend wouldn't be Trevor anymore.

Maybe it would be me.

--

Leslie and I slowly started to become friends after that. We talked on a regular basis, hung out. I learned a lot about her... and a lot about Trevor, and I would flirt with her shamelessly, and she either didn't notice, or didn't know how to react. I sort of liked her for unexplainable reasons.

Well, there were like able things about her, but nothing I'd ever really seen in other people before. She was cute, and funny, and always smiling. She made me laugh, and she joked around with me, and being around her felt... natural. Not to mention the fact that she was... easy on the eyes, lets say. I thought she was pretty. Not hot, like the other guys would have referred to her as. But... pretty. She was really pretty.

The sun was always shining, and it was hot, and did stupid shit and talked for hours, and it all felt too good to be true.

Even when I knew it was all real, it still didn't feel like it.

She was laying in my back yard beside me, her shirt tied up exposing her stomach and ribs, and her shorts were just low enough to expose a line of milky skin that had yet to be touched by the sun. Her arm was above her face, shielding her from the light, and she was humming softly.

I scanned the backyard, my eyes hovering over the green grass, turning yellow from lack of water, the paint-chipped fence, the box of old toys from when my brother's and I were all little. Beside the box was a sprinkler shaped like an octopus. A hose trailed over the grass and attached to the wall of the house.

"Leslie?"

"Mmhm?"

"Wanna do something?"

She raised her arm from her eyes. "Like what?"

I pointed towards the octopus sprinkler. "Somethin stupid."

She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. She was giving me the strangest look, and she probably thought I wasn't serious, or I was just fucking crazy, but either way, she just shrugged. "Whatever you want, John."

She watched me as I set up the sprinkler and turned on the house. Immediately, we were being showered by water.

Even though we were responsible young adults (or something), when the sprinkler came on, in a way... we went right back to being little kids. We chased the water, ran from the water, saw who was could get more soaked. We jumped over the sprinkler, cooled off the heat of Arizona, and we probably looked really stupid and immature, but at that moment, neither of us really gave a fuck.

A cloud covered the sun, and I turned off the hose. We were standing there in our completely drenched clothes, feeling about ten pounds heaver, just laughing. Leslie shivered, and giggled, looking into my eyes. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around her and pull her close to me. Surprisingly, she didn't pull away. She looked up at me, wide eyed, and slowly, she started holding me too. I dipped my head down, my wet hair falling into her eyes. I was going to kiss her. I was going to kiss her.

My lips hovered right by her's, and my heart was bouncing around in my throat, making my ears plugged and my head pound. I could taste her sweet breath on my lips. I could almost feel her.

"John. I ... I'm gonna go get changed." She said, wrenching away from me, leaving me hanging there.

I awkwardly stuck my hands in my wet pockets. "Oh, uh sure. Will you come back later?"

"Maybe." She said, and then, she left.

--

I was falling for her. Truly.

She was still with that Trevor guy though, and it drove me crazy. She obviously liked me back, but she was with him. It wasn't fair.

I never really expected this summer to be anything but terrible. I never expected to meet a girl that I actually wanted to be with. But, things always change, I guess.

Her and I hadn't really been speaking as often since the sprinkler incident. We still spoke, and hung out, but there was this tension that wasn't there before. We both could feel it, and so we both just sort of... distanced ourselves. I didn't want to, though. I wanted to be around her all the time.

It was keeping me up at night, to be totally honest.

She was leaving in two weeks.

I hadn't even kissed her.

Finally, though, I got to sleep.

Unfortunately, it only lasted about an hour.

It was probably around three in the morning, when I heard my phone vibrate. I let out a groan, and picked it up off my bedside table, holding the phone lazily to my ear and answering. "Hello." I mumbled.

"Hey, John! It's Leslie! Can you come meet me at my house?"

"Now?" I moaned.

"Yes. Now. Please, John?"

"Ugh, fine. Be there in a few."

"Thank you!" She hung up the phone, and I basically crawled out of bed, and picked up a pair of jeans and a t-shirt from the floor, struggling them on. I opened my window silently, and crept through it. I ran two blocks away, too Leslie's house, where she was standing outside in jeans and a t-shirt, her hair falling loosely over her shoulders.

"I wanna go somewhere."

"At three in the morning!?"

"Yeah..."

"Why!?"

"Cause I just do."

I rolled my eyes at her. It was still pitch black out. "Well, okay then. Where?"

"I'm driving," was all she said, as she led me to her car. I got in the passengers side, leaning my head on the back of my seat and letting my eyes fall closed. The car started, and we pulled out of the driveway. We drove for about fifteen minutes before stopping on a hill overlooking the city. She got out of the car, and went and lay on the grass.

"What are you doing?" I asked, following after her with my hands stuffed in my pockets. "It's so late!"

"Correction. It's early." She winked at me, and beckoned me over. I sat down beside her, and she lay down, curling up beside me. I hesitantly put my arm around her again, and she just smiled up at me.

"Why are we here?"

"We're waiting till morning."

"For?"

She shrugged. She watched the black sky, waiting for the sun to show up, and I tried to look too, but I couldn't. I was looking at her, and the way the moonlight was high lighting her features, and she had a thin smile on her lips, and her ear was pressed against my chest, and I wondered if she could hear my heartbeat.

"Leslie..."

"Hmmm?" She looked up at me. Our lips almost briefly touched, before she turned her head again.

"What's going on with you and Trevor?"

She shrugged, and looked away. "I don't know."

The sun was just peeking up, just lighting her face slightly. I put my forefinger and thumb on her chin, felt the smoothness of her skin, and gently held her face towards mine.

And finally, fucking finally, I kissed her.

She kissed me back, hard, forcefully, so I fell on top of her in the grass. She laced her fingers through my hair, and I held her waist, and my heart was pounding so strangely it was like I was having the sweetest heart ache ever.

She pulled away breathlessly, and got off of me. "God, John."

I grinned at her.

She leaned in again, our foreheads touching, and our noses almost brushing. "I told you, John. I have a boyfriend." She said, but she didn't pull away. I didn't know what game she was playing, but it was driving me crazy.

I cupped her face in my hands, and kissed her again. And again. And again.

Soon enough, our clothes were shed, laying on the grass around us, and we made love while the sun was coming up.

And I felt something weird.

Like, I loved her.

I loved her.

--

Leslie was leaving in two days.

I had marked the date on the calender, and that was the only way I would have known, seeing as we hadn't spoken since that night (morning?). She didn't call me, and when I called, she didn't answer. She didn't stop by my house, and I didn't stop by her's.

I felt lost, and broken, and stupid. I scared her away or something. Obviously, I did something wrong.

I rested my head in my hands, sighed deeply, and stared at my cell phone, willing for it to ring.

As if on queue, it did. A picture of Leslie and I popped up on the screen.

She was calling me.

Finally.

I scrambled for the phone, and answered. "Hello?"

"Do you love me?" She said all in one breath.

"What...?"

"John, do you love me?"

I was quiet for a moment. "Uh. Yeah, Leslie. I love you."

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Can you meet up with me tonight? I need you."

"Sure, where?"

"Where we were last time."

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Okay . Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. I just... need to see you."

"Uh, okay. What time?"

"Like, ten?"

"Alright."

"Seeya then."

"Alright, bye."

I hung up the phone, wondering what was up with her. She said nothing was wrong, but there was an edge to her voice. A tightness I didn't like. I was scared. I didn't have any reason to be, but I sort of was.

I guess, I'd just have to wait until that night.

--

I got out of the car, circling around the front with my hands jammed in my pockets. I examined the edge of the hill, seeing the most beautiful girl in the world curled up with her head on her knees staring at the sky.

"Hey, Leslie."

She turned and looked at me, the descending clouds revealing the moon that shone onto her hair, and lit up her skin. "Hey."

I sat down beside her, brushing off my ripped up jeans, and looked over at her. She gazed up at the sky.

"Is something up, Leslie?" I asked, snaking my arm around her waist. "Why'd you bring me here?"

"Cause, John...I'm scared."

"Of?"

"Going home." She said quietly. "Back to Trevor... my mom... a city without you."

I held onto her tighter. "Well... Trevor can be dealt with."

"I don't wanna hurt him, John." She looked at me sheepishly. "But I can't help wanting to be with you."

"Leslie, you gotta tell him..."

"I will..."

I noticed her cell phone sitting open in her lap, the contact page filling the screen, highlighting Trevor's name.

"Leslie..."

She looked up at me, with an unsure expression.

"Just tell him you love me."

She breathed in slowly, and breathed out, then nodded. "Okay." She hesitantly pressed the call button and held the phone up to her ear. I grabbed her free hand and laced her fingers through mine.

And I waited, and I listened to her talk to him, and I just kept repeating to myself in my head "Tell him that you love me, and it will be alright" over and over and over...

And finally, she did.

And for that moment, it was alright. That night, it felt like everything was okay. It felt like she wasn't leaving so soon.

Young love is a crazy thing. I had only known this girl for two months and yet I swore I was in love with her. I was willing to give up everything, and I hardly knew her. Probably only because I didn't know any better, but god, it was the sweetest feeling in the world.

--

And here it was.

Goodbye.

I had been thinking about this day since I first met her. The day she'd get on the plane, and go back home, and my friends would return, and school would start, and things would be over for the two of us.

I didn't want to say goodbye. I loved her.

I was standing there in the airport, the walls all white and light blue, people waiting around with suitcases and I had no idea where Leslie was, so I just stood around awkwardly, waiting with a bouquet of roses, and a teddy bear in my arms.

She had told me to meet her here, and she'd come say goodbye. She told me she'd still have contact no matter what. She told me she could see if she could stay a bit longer. It was all sort of a blur.

For one day, Leslie was officially my girlfriend, and now she was going to a different state. It sucked, there was no denying that.

"John!" I heard the soft sweet voice of my girlfriend squeal, and I spun around, and immediately, she was in my arms. The roses were on the floor, being trampled my passing feet. There was a smile on Leslie's face, despite the small tragedy or her leaving.

"What's going on, Leslie?" I asked her curiously as she planted a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm staying, John."

The words fell over my head, and I just stared at her, not knowing what to say. My mouth hung open, and I squeezed her a little tighter, with my eyebrows raised in disbelief.

"I just called my Mom... and... and I can stay here for a while longer. As long as I want." She grabbed my face and pulled my lips against her's.

Can't stop.

I loved her.

Won't stop.

And she was staying.

I must be dreaming.