Days Go By

“You locked yourself in the bathroom," Jamie deadpanned, and he could practically see her rolling her eyes at him. "What are you? Some teenage girl or something?” 

Garrett glanced back at the closed door, his reply the same mumble he'd greeted her with. “If you were here, you’d be hiding too.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Your mother loves me so much, she’d actually notice when I ran away to the bathroom.” He heard her chuckle through the phone, making his eyes roll and the heavy sigh fall from his lips. 

“I hate you.” He breathed, eyes staring into his reflection in the mirror.

"It can't be that bad," Jamie scoffed, and he let out a heavy sigh.

"We're not even on appetizers yet, and my mother's already obnoxious," he complained, leaning his opposite hand at the counter, his gaze tracing over his frustrated expression.

"Your mother's a nice lady, Gar. Calm down--"

"Calm down?" he repeated, laughing now. "My mother's spent the past ten minutes yelling at me for not dragging you here with me and asking when I'm going to date you."

She giggled now, shaking her head. "As if I'd date you."

"Thanks," he grumbled, and she sighed.

"Get out of the bathroom, Garrett," Jamie said now. "Go converse with your family, play nice, and bring me home some leftovers."

The small smile formed on his lips, despite himself. "My mom is making her Salmon with pesto..."

She groaned. "God, I knew I should have made you let me go."

He laughed now, shaking his head. "And have my mom think we're dating? No thanks."

"Sounds like she thinks that regardless of me getting to enjoy your mother's home-cooked meals--"

"Jamie," he groaned, and she giggled.

"Fine--whatever. I'll see you when you get home, okay?" he grumbled a reply, and she scoffed. "And be nice, and-and don't forget to bring me those leftovers!"

Garrett dropped the phone from his ear as the call ended. He could already hear his mother’s chatter from the other room, his name falling from her lips. A fist banged against the door then, startling Garrett as he pushed his phone back into his pocket. Trey stood on the other side as Garrett pulled it open a moment later, his fingers running nervously through his hair as his brother smirked.

“Jamie missed you already, huh?” His brother asked as Garrett stepped through the doorway and into his father’s empty office.

“No,” He mumbled, looking away. “She didn’t want to talk to me.”

Trey let out a series of chuckles as Garrett stepped around him rolling his eyes at his sibling. A moment later, Trey’s hand pulled on Garrett’s shoulder, stopping him from stepping into the kitchen where his mother waited. When he turned around again, sure he was going to have to listen to his brother’s mocking tone further, was met with Trey’s frown.

“Mom’s really been excited about this dinner, Gar…” Trey spoke, Garrett rolling his eyes at the words. “It’s been a week since you’ve talk to her so be nice.”

Grunting in reply, he didn’t wait for Trey as he entered the kitchen. His father was still behind the counter, mixing the vegetables together as his mom pulled the salmon from the oven. He hoped to pass through without notice, slipping into the dining room before any of his family joined him. As he made his way through the room though, his mother’s eyes caught his, and that same smile she’d always wear around him, appeared.

“So glad you could join us again, Gar.” Her tone sarcastic as she addressed his departure mid-conversation so he could talk with Jamie. His father looked up then too, a forced smile covering him.

He could only grunt again, stepping to the fridge to pull out his third beer of the night. The beer was bitter against his tongue but he swallowed the liquid nonetheless, hoping a slight buzz would make the evening more bearable.

"C'mon, then," his mother ushered her sons from the kitchen, the dish of salmon steaming in her hand as she led the way to the dining room table. "Walter, turn off the television, will you?" she called back to his father, sending Garrett another look. "Your third? Really?"

He shrugged, rolling his eyes. For half a moment, his stare met Trey's, and with a sigh, Garrett stepped toward his mother as she placed the dish at the table, kissing her cheek. "Dinner smells delicious, Mom," he told her sweetly, earning a pat on the cheek from her next as he passed her by to his seat.

"I should think so," she clucked her tongue, taking a seat at the head of the table. "It's been how long since you've had a proper, home-cooked meal?"

"Can't Jamie cook?" Trey cut in, and Garrett sent his brother a glare then for bringing her up into the conversation.

"You make that poor girl cook?" his father took his seat across from Garrett's mother, reaching for the serving spatula to ready his plate for the meal, now. "I thought she had her hands full, with school and that student teaching thing--"

Garrett sighed, shooting Trey another dark look. "She does, Dad."

"Well, you'll bring some leftovers home for her, won't you?" his mother asked in, taking a bite of her food. "There'll be more than enough left over."

"Sure," he acknowledged, digging in to his own meal.

Trey began talking about some friends from work, then, distracting their parents from Garrett's life. He was more than thankful, enjoying the silence from his own end of the table and tuning out the conversation. Garrett was counting the minutes before he could leave, wishing he could simply eat and grab Jamie's left overs before going back to her apartment. It was these family dinners that never relaxed him as they used to. He used to be calm, used to love being at home and spending time with his family, but now it took too much effort. The elephant in the room was too large and loud, interrupting his own conversations or thoughts and reminding him of the memories he didn't want to remember.

“How is she anyways?”

Garrett’s words caught in his throat, his mind spiraling through the possibilities of who she was referring to. “Wh—? Wh-Who, Mom?”

“Jamie, of course.” She smiled. “You went into the bathroom and called her, right?”

It was obvious where the conversation was going, Garrett groaning in response. “She’s fine, Ma.”

“You really could’ve invited her, dear. She’s always welcome.”

He groaned again. “I know.”

“We really just adore her so much.” His mother continued to gush. “And y’know, if things happen to change between you two—“

“No.” He interrupted her words quickly.

She gave him a glare, sipping on her glass of water. “You two do live together—“

“As friends.”

“And she seems to really love you, Gar.” Her words were so hopeful, her eyes staying on him as he stared through the doorway and into the kitchen. “A girl like that—“

“Stop!” He slammed his palm against the table, startling the group. His father and Trey both sent him looks that he ignored, his attention on his mother. “Just stop it.”

“It’s just you haven’t brought a girl home for us since Carrie…”

“Until there is another girl,” His voice was low as he looked past her, trying to ignore the tugging in his gut. “I suggest you leave it alone.”

“Well it’s been so long, Garrett.” She scoffed, taking more food from the platters and putting it on her plate. “The only girl we ever see you with is Jamie.”

He didn’t answer, only sending her another glare in hopes she would drop it. He could feel the tension growing in the room, clogging his lungs and overpowering his words. It was obviously in his brother’s fist and his dad’s tight posture. Everyone knew where the conversation was going, running down a frequently traveled path that left the family fighting and Garrett upset.

“What about that girl from high school you were so close with? Elizabeth?” She smiled at him, the same hopefulness filling her irises as she spoke.

“Elizabeth?” He repeated, surprised that she even remembered her name. “We haven’t talked in years.”

Her optimism didn’t waiver, a smile still pulling at her lips. “There’s gotta be some girl, Garrett.”

Frustrated, he sunk into his chair further, desperately looking for an escape. He’d used his “bathroom” card once already and was sure that another attempt at it would lead to further discussions at the very topic he’d worked so hard to end. “I don’t have time for a girl, Ma.”

She scoffed. “And what do you do that’s so time-consuming then?”

“Tour.” He stated bluntly, his voice starting to mimic the frustration running through his body. “Record music. Practice. Be in a band.”

His mother rolled his eyes at his response, “If Jamie can put up with it, I’d imagine there are other girls that can.”

“Jamie is just a friend.” He repeated, stressing his words.

“And Carrie dealt with it for the 18 months you two were together.”

Garrett worked hard at keeping his choice words back, his lips trembling to release the string of curses and his body ready to bolt from the house. He hated hearing her name and how much they loved her. Just being home was enough of a reminder without his mother’s need to continue to bring it up all over again.

“We’re done talking about this.” He said finally.

“But Garrett—“

“Done.” He repeated, louder this time. His brother shifted forward in his seat, still silent and still looking at Garrett with that heavy frown.

“I’m just worried you’re not happy, dear.”

“I’m fine!” His voice grew. “I’m happy. You need to stay out of my life.”

“Garrett.” His dad’s voice was louder than his own, stopping Garrett’s words and grabbing the family’s attention. “Your mother brought you into this world, I’m sure she has no problem taking you out of it too.”

“Whatever.” He mumbled, rising to feet and throwing the napkin from his lap onto the table. “I’m done with this bullshit.”

He only made it a few steps around the room before his dad stood up, slamming his hand against the top of the table in the same fashion Garrett had before. Garrett stopped, his jaw clenching as he looked back as his father.

“Sit down.” Walter ordered, pointing at Garrett’s chair.

Garrett knew the tone too well, knowing the man only used it when his children acted rudely towards their mother. He didn’t argue or continue his way out the door, instead moving back around silently and slumping back into his chair, defeated.

“Now, listen to me.” His dad continued, his voice still loud and his posture strong. “You will eat your meal. You will be nice to your mother. You will watch your tone and you will keep your profanity from my dinner table. Got it?”

A blush creeped up Garrett’s cheeks as he saw his brother and mom staring at the two. He slowly nodded, dropping his gaze to lap, and mumbling a ‘yes sir’.

The table was silent afterwards,Walter finishing the last bit of food left on his plate quickly. Garrett sat there, his jaw still tense, and his eyes directed through the doorway. He regretted his actions before, but more so he regretted even coming. It was his actions that made the Sunday evening painfully awkward, the silence heavy and eyes constantly casted his way.

“Trey,” His father spoke, his fork dropping to his plate. “What time is Gemma getting here?”

Trey bit back a grin. “Eight or so.”

“Well why don’t you clear the table and get dessert ready.” The older man spoke, setting his utensils on the porcelain plate.

Garrett watched his brother stand, collecting the plates from each of his family member and going back into the kitchen. The silence filled the space again, making Garrett nervous as his mother and father’s eyes stayed on him.

“It’s really just too bad Jamie didn’t make it.” His mother broke the silence, sending him a smile that he didn’t return. “Does she have a lot of homework this semester?”

He kept his gaze down as he played with a loose thread in the tablecloth. Garrett felt his father shift, forcing the answer from him. “Yeah, she uh, stays pretty busy, Ma.”

“Well you make sure to tell her she is more than welcome to stop by anytime. Walter and I would love to see her.”

When he didn’t respond again, his father cleared his throat, making it obvious to Garrett that he was growing frustrated. Swallowing his pride, he looked up to send both his father and mother a forced smile. “Okay, I’ll make sure to pass that along, Ma.” His tone sickening sweet as he glared at his father.

His mother tone stayed even, despite Garrett’s obvious attempts at causing a reaction from her. “And you think she’ll like the salmon, Gar? I remember her telling me how much she loves pesto.”

“It’s fine.” His lips tightened, the words he spoke stressed and cruel. “Jamie will eat anything.”

The scowl across his father’s face grew at Garrett’s tone. He was certain his father would snap at him like before, but his mother beat him to reacting, saying his father’s name in a sigh. Trey’s entrance broke the tension between the family.

“I figured we could just do dessert in the living room.” He mumbled as he collected the last few dishes.

Garrett’s mother smiled at him, looking away from the two others at the table. “Of course, honey.” Her attention went to her husband then. “Walt, dear, why don’t you go pack up the rest of the salmon for Garrett’s to take.”

They simply nodded, shuffling about the room as they made their way into the kitchen. Garrett leaned forward, resting his forehead on the table and fiddling with the phone in his lap. For the first time in weeks, he wished Tegan would call as he searched for some reason to get up and leave. He kept his head down as he listened to the echoing voices in the kitchen of his father and brother and he didn’t even shift when he heard the familiar sound of a car pulling in the driveway, keeping his eyes shut and thinking about any night but tonight.

When he looked up again, his mother had left the room and the dining room was empty. He could hear the soft voices in the other room, one unfamiliar to him. Somehow, he talked himself into standing, navigating his new through his old home, trying to not think about the memories within the walls. When he entered the living room, he was greeted to his mother’s voice, talking to the unfamiliar face. It took a few moments before anyone even noticed him standing by the doorway.

“Garrett,” She smiled, patting the cushion beside her. “Darling, come sit and meet Trey’s friend.”

He remembered the scene all too well. It hadn’t been long since he brought her over and his mother spoke kindly to her. He could recognize the familiar face of his father, trying to look interested in what she was saying but more interested in the contents of his coffee cup. As he stepped around, dropping to the seat, his mother had already given him a string of introductions that were far batter than he deserved after his behavior that night.

“Sweetie,” She glanced up at him as she cut him a slice of the cut. “This is Gemma.”

He only smiled, taking the plate from her hands and leaning back into the couch. It was far easier to take the position of his father, simply looking interested as his mother grilled the young girl about her life. He focused on his cake, cutting away small bits. It filled his time until his mom patted on his knee, redirecting him into the conversation.

“Which professor does Jamie work for, dear?”

Garrett gave her a confused glance, swallowing the bit of food in his mouth before answering. “Richard Telson.”

Both the new girl sitting in the arm chair and his mother nodded, going back into whatever the two were talking about. Garrett didn’t bother trying to listen after he finished his slice, setting the plate on the table in front of him, and pulling his phone from his pocket. A smile immediately tugged at his lips as he read over the text Jamie sent him and he took little time responding.

When his mother asked for someone to take the rest of the cake into the kitchen, Garrett was the first to volunteer, flying from his seat with the dessert. And when he returned, stopping in the doorway, his mother had left her spot, his father how in her spot and asking the new girl a few questions she seem to understand less. Garrett focused on his phone again, continuing the conversation he’d been having with Jamie until he felt his mother’s presence behind him, causing him to immediately pocket the device.

“Look at your brother.” She smiled, wrapping a arm around Garrett much to his distaste. “Doesn’t he look happy?”

Garrett didn’t answer, simply trying to shake the thoughts in his head away.

“You haven’t looked that happy in so long.”

Whatever bit of calmness had settled in him in the few moments of silence had dissipated now. Garrett could feel him throat tightening and stomach knotting. Hid mother simply stood there, her arm wrapped around him in something he assumed was supposed to comfort him, except it didn’t.

“I need to go.” He muttered,breaking their silence. Pushing her arm from him, he stepped through the door way. His mother’s soft, disappointed voice stopping him.

“Already?” Her eyes pleaded for he stay, her lips pulled south.

“Jamie’s got a big test tomorrow, Ma.” The lie rolled off his tongue with ease as he played the card he was sure his mother would favor. “And I know she’s waiting up…”

“Okay,” She sighed, giving him a tight smile. Garrett let out the breath he’d been holding in since he entered the house then. “Just bring her that plate of leftovers in the fridge, okay?”

He stepped close, giving her a quick hug and muttering a “love you” into her ear. Leaving her side with ease now, he slipped through the room, avoiding his father or Trey as he crossed into the hallway and to the kitchen.

* * *
Garrett was never quite sure why she had given him a key to her place. He never used it late at night when he was drunk and she made it clear from the beginning that if she kicked him out, he was to stay out. Tonight though, he was so happy when he slid the metal into the lock, hearing the familiar sound of Jamie’s door unlatch. It brought him a bit of comfort too, as he knew he wouldn’t have to deal with the stressed of him mother and the wave of memories again.

Jamie was waiting for him when he stepped in the door, the familiar boxes of cereal out on the counter beside her. She gave him a small smile as he stepped forward, pulling the stool out from the breakfast bar and taking a seat. She didn’t say a word as she turned around, pouring his favorite chocolately cereal into the bowl. His arms were folded against the countertop. His forehead resting at his wrists as she poured the milk in the bowl, pulling a spoon from the drawer and closing it with her hip.

“Gar.” She spoke quietly, and he twisted so his eyes peaked out, bringing a chuckle to her lips. As the small smile tightened across his mouth she stepped closer, setting the bowl down and sliding it to him, extending the spoon out for him to take.

When he took the spoon from her, forcing him to sit up, she smiled again and he only stuck his tongue out at her, dipping the spoon into his cereal. It was something the two started years ago, before he ever stumbled in drunk. She was his comfort through all the bad times, offering him the food with her meal points and giving him the opportunity to talk. Garrett watched as she made her own bowl, her cereal different, but memories of the tradition the same.

Jamie sat down beside him, quickly dipping her own spoon into the milk and eating the cereal. Garrett loved the silence around these moments, how it didn’t suffocate him like when he was home. She didn’t give him those same painful glances like his mother and was never searching for some set of words. It was so simple and he was always thankful for that. Garrett finished his cereal first, keeping his attention in his bowl until Jamie fished her last few pieces of cereal from the bowl, eating them quickly. He knew what was next, he knew when the bowls were half full of the stained, warm milk he had to tell her. That was the tradition between the two.

“Trey brought a girl home,” Garrett sighed, pushing his bowl away and propping his elbows at the surface. “For dessert.”

He was certain her face dropped, concern filling her eyes in the way it always did in these moments. “Oh, Gary,” She breathed, her hand moving the rest at his shoulder.

“It was exactly like that when I brought her home, Jamie.” His fingers twined in his hair as he forced himself to say the words. “Mom made some extravagant dessert and Dad wore that same shirt. When she got there, Mom flipped shit and talked to her like she’d known her forever.”

The memory alone stung, twisting his nerves and clogging his throat. Garrett ran his fingers through his hair, biting down on his lip as he searched for what to say to explain to her what he was feeling. Jamie nudged him, her shoulder jostling him, and when he looked over at her, she smiled.

“But it’s nothing like when she talks with me, right?” Jamie teased. “I’d hate to think your mom gets excited with just any girl you boys take home.”

He didn’t want to smile, still feeling miserable and frustrated, but the curve tugged at his lips, and Jamie pushed her bowl away from in front of her, draping her arm across his shoulders now. She propped her chin at the curve of his shoulder, smiling again at him, her fingers messing into his hair before she pulled away, her grin widening when his own mouth formed a small smile. Pushing away from the counter, she grabbed each of their bowls, moving to place them in the sink.

“Honestly, it doesn’t even matter, really, any of those other girls of yours,” she commented, looking over her shoulder at him. “Past or present,” she added pointedly before turning on the faucet. “You’ve got me, remember? I treat you so much better than them, any day.”

Garrett didn’t reply, because it was true. Jamie was always there for him more than anyone else, and more than his own family in moment like this. She understood him in a way no one else would, especially not after all he had gone through and all she had helped him through. He watched her as she cleaned their dishes, setting them on the small drying rack to the left of the sink before returning to the counter he sat at, leaning forward with another hopeful smile.

“Whatever damage those girls did, Gary,” she reached across the counter, lacing her hand into his, her other folding atop of their embrace as she made him meet her stare. “It doesn’t matter, okay? It shouldn’t, not anymore. Not after all this time.” He shrugged, and she squeezed his hand. “I’m not Carrie. I’m the best damn friend you’ve ever had—” she sent him another grin, winking—“Not to mention the hottest, right?”

He laughed, lightly, nodding. “The hottest.”

Jamie nodded with him. “See? I’m here forever, Gar. I don’t care how many cereal boxes I have to buy. We’ll get you through this.”

Offering her a half smile, Garrett looked down at their hands, shrugging. “I don’t get how she thinks I could sit through that,” he mumbled. “They don’t get it what it was like, for me. No one does…” he met her concerned stare, then, taking a deep breath. “Except you.”

“That’s the benefit of letting you mope around to me for two years,” Jamie shrugged, sighing. “C’mon, Gar. It’ll get better, you know that. You thought the same thing about girls before her, remember? And yet you were able to move on and let go of what they—”

“For what, Jamie?” he muttered bitterly. “See what good that did?”

Unlacing their hands, she sighed again, sending him a sharp look. “If you make me get out the ice cream, you’re gonna spend the night awake on my couch, watching shitty TV shows.”

Garrett couldn’t help but laugh, rushing a hand through his hair. So many other times she’d spend nights out on the couch with him, whether it be in this very apartment or in the dorms where they’d first met. Unlike him, Jamie never stayed awake, usually falling asleep after a few bites and an episode’s worth of her time or leaving his side to go to bed. But they’d gone through it so many times, it didn’t matter. She’d stayed with him in the beginning of it all, during the fights with Carrie the nights he was supposed to spend the night and Jamie would find him in the lounge instead, mulling over whatever argument he’d lost. It had gotten so routine that he’d call her to join him, to tell him Carrie’s side and to make him feel better about whatever had happened. Jamie would always mock him for such a girly move, with the ice cream and TV, his desperation to fix things. When he met her stare now, she was smirking, but the laugh was off his lips and his mouth was a line again, tugging down at the corners as he felt that weight return in his chest. His memories with Jamie were always positive, but they left a bittersweet taste as they stood beside so many negative ones from his time with Carrie, and he couldn’t help but remember each memory now, feeling more weighed down as his thoughts tugged through him.

“C’mon,” Jamie nudged him again, moving around the counter to sit beside him. Her smile was wide and, usually, infectious, but it was harder now. “Smile,” she prodded, elbowing him in the side. “Smile, Garrett. I’m not gonna stop being cheesey until you smile.”

His lips pressed together, the close-lipped smile thin at his mouth, and she shook her head, groaning.

“Do you want me to flash you?” she asked now, looking down at her chest. “I think I’m wearing a fairly decent bra—”

“Can you just wear that sexy lingerie for the rest of the night?” Garrett asked hopefully, and Jamie scoffed, pushing at his shoulder.

“I’m not one of your girls, Garrett,” she rolled her eyes, laughing.

He shrugged, the smirk curving onto his lips. “It was worth a shot,” he winked now, and she pushed herself off the stool again, pulling on his arm.

“C’mon,” Jamie tugged him from the stool. “I got Jaws earlier tonight—we can watch it and I’ll cuddle with you, if you want.”

“In your underwear?”

She shook her head, pulling him toward the couch. “No, but if you promise to behave, I’ll let you sit around in yours.”

Garrett smiled, slumping into the couch as she moved toward the television to put her movie in. “It’s just sounding like you want to undress me now, darling.”

Jamie rolled her eyes at him as she stepped back across the room, sitting down beside him. Garrett pressed the buttons on the remote and started the movie, the familiar main credits began to play. He shifted into the couch so Jamie’s head rested comfortably against his shoulder and she link their hands, a gesture he was certain was more out of fear of the movie than anything else.

It wasn’t twenty minutes into the movie before Jamie fell asleep on him, her breath slowly and her grip on his hand loosening. He could only chuckle, allowing her to sleep more as he watched the familiar movie, allowing it to dull the pains of the evening. This was the memory he preferred, all the nights he’d spent with Jamie when she’d take care of him and he’d do the same for her when she’d fall asleep on. It felt right again and the heaviness in his chest finally left and he smiled, brushing his thumb across her knuckles.

“Jamie.” He mumbled, the smile spread across his lips evident in his voice. “C’mon, you should go to bed.”

A moment later her eyes opened, exhausting fogging her irises as she looked up at him, confused for a moment. “No.” She shrugged, falling back against him as the yawn escaped her lips. “The movie’s not over.”

Garrett laughed, unlacing their hands to pat her knee. “I know you have a long day tomorrow—“

“Watch the movie.” She directed as her eyes fell shut again, causing Garrett to laugh, patting the inside of her knee again.

“Bedtime, Jamie.” He whispered, the familiar line drawing small smiles across their lips again.

When she didn’t answer, Garrett stood from the couch and she fell into his seat. As she sat up again she glared at him. “The movie’s not over.”

“Jamie, I’ve seen this at least fifteen times,” He chuckled, reaching his hands out to take hers, pulling her to her feet. “I can miss this once.”

“Maybe I was watching it.”

He scoffed, pulling her towards her room. “You fell asleep before the credits finished.”

Jamie smiled again, shrugging as he pushed her door open, and she let go of him to fall into her bed. Garrett laughed again, watching as she pulled the covers down and slid between them. As he twisted back around to go back to the living room, finding his spot on the couch like most nights, Jamie called his name.

“Gar.” She said again and he stepped back into the room, looking at her curiously. “C’mon.”

“What?” His brow furrowed as she patted the empty space beside her, the tired smile stretching across her lips again.

“Sleep with me.”

Garrett didn’t wait for her to ask him again, slipping his shoes from his feet and pushing the collared shirt from his shoulders. Her bed was comforting, he’d spent too many nights passed out in her mattress, holding her too close and slurring words he didn’t remember. Garrett smiled when she scooted towards him, reaching for his arms to wrap around her. These were the memories he loved, they had nothing to do with Carrie or his mom. He was allowed to be himself again, and Jamie loved him for that.