Uncharted Territory

Grace

“Wow, you look really good, Grace.” John said when I answered the door.

I instantly blushed and said, “Thanks. So do you.”

It was true, John did look good. Gone was the boy from high school who wore skinny jeans, over-sized t-shirts, and beat-up Nike’s with overgrown hair. In his place was a man who still wore skinny jeans but replaced the t-shirts with flannels, the Nike’s with cowboy boots and vans, and had cut his hair. I had always bugged John in high school about having a better sense of style and now he finally did. I just couldn’t believe I had missed the transformation.

John opened my car door for me after we had pulled up to the restaurant and grabbed my hand as we walked in. There was an explosion of butterflies in my stomach and I couldn’t believe I was this nervous around the boy I had known since Jr. High.

“I feel like we’re on our very first date again. I’m just as nervous as I was in high school.” I nervously admitted.

“Yeah, me too. I just hope this one turns out better.” John laughed and I joined him.

“I can’t believe I still wanted to date you after that disaster of a date.” I joked.

“Hey, it wasn’t that bad.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “John, you took me to a scary movie that gave me nightmares for weeks, spilled food on me, and forgot your wallet at home. Plus your mom drove us to and from the date with Shane and Ross in the backseat of her SUV. It was a pretty bad date.”

“I was nervous. I had liked you since 7th grade but didn’t get the nerve to ask you out until freshmen year. I honestly didn’t think I’d have a chance with you.”

“You shouldn’t have been nervous. I’d liked you since 7th grade also.”

“Why? I was a hot mess in high school. I can’t believe I actually thought I looked good.” John said.

I laughed and said, “You weren’t a complete mess. I definitely like the way you dress now better though. You’ve really changed. Not in a bad way or anything; you’re just different.”

John looked at me and said, “You’ve changed too Gracie.”

“I know. I guess growing up does that to people. Do you think that maybe we’ve changed too much and aren’t meant for each other anymore?”

John sighed and said, “I honestly don’t know. The odds probably aren’t in our favor.”

I looked down. That wasn’t the answer I was looking for.

John grabbed my hand and said, “I’m willing to try though.”

I looked up and smiled at John.

He smiled back and said, “Grace Williams do you want to be my girlfriend again? Fuck, that was as cheesy as when I asked you back in high school. You would think that I wouldn’t be as awkward as I was back then but I still am.”

“If I’m your girlfriend do I get to wear your letter jacket for baseball like I did in high school?” I joked.

“Hey, do not make fun of my baseball jacket. Anyway, in high school all the girls wore their boyfriends’ letter jackets. But, if you do want to wear it I think my mom still has it somewhere.”

“Good, because I would love to be your girlfriend again.”

John smiled back at me but the moment was ruined when John’s phone began to ring.

“Hello? What kind of emergency? That’s not an emergency. Fine, five minutes. Hold on.” John said into his phone and then turned towards me, “I’ll be right back. I have to talk to Joel for a second but I’ll make it quick.”

“That’s fine.” I smiled.

John came back to our table five minutes later looking annoyed.

“So what was Joel’s emergency?” I asked.

John rolled his eyes and said, “It wasn’t an emergency. He’s just freaking out over his date with Reagan tomorrow. He called me and asked if his idea for their date was good enough. They were supposed to go out tonight but he thought of a better idea so they’re going on their date tomorrow instead.”

“That’s cute. It means he really likes her.”

“Whatever. I just don’t know if a relationship is the best thing for her right now. I mean something happened to her at Harvard and that’s why she quit and came out here. I think it would be best if she just focused herself and not a relationship.”

I sighed and John’s overprotective attitude and said, “Reagan has Kennedy looking out for her and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out with Joel. I’m sure if Reagan and Joel going out was a bad idea Kennedy wouldn’t allow it. Anyway, if those two do start dating the four of us can go on double dates.”

“Um…yeah. That’d be fun, I guess.” John mumbled.
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I couldn’t keep the smile off my face as I unlocked my door. John had just kissed me goodnight and was walking back to his car. I had thought that I would get butterflies again when I kissed John but I didn’t. Kissing him just felt…familiar. I shrugged it off though. I had kissed John hundreds of times since freshman year so I shouldn’t expect to get butterflies. I had still hoped for them though.

I got into the house figuring I wouldn’t see anyone since my parents would probably already in bed and nearly screamed when I saw Ashley standing there.

“Shit Ashley. You scared me. What are you doing here?” I asked my very pregnant sister.

“I wanted to know how your date went.” She shrugged.

“You couldn’t wait until tomorrow?”

“No, I couldn’t. This wasn’t just any date. This was a date with John, the boy you completely screwed over. Plus being 8 ½ months pregnant means I have no love life so I have to live vicariously through yours.”

“Gross. You know, there are some things you really should just keep to yourself.”

Ashley rolled her eyes and said, “So how did the date go?”

“It went well. He asked me to be his girlfriend so we’re official once again.” I smiled.

“Does he know that you’re still married?”

“I’m not still married, Ashley.” I sighed.

“Technically you are. You haven’t signed those divorce papers yet so you are still legally married to Evan.”

“We’re separated though.”

“There’s a big difference between separated and divorced. John doesn’t deserve to have his heart broken again.” Ashley said.

“Seriously, Ashley? I got shit for what I did from everyone else in Tempe and now you’re turning on me too?”

“I’m not turning against you. I’m just surprised that you guys were able to work things out and I think you need to tell John the truth about how you’re still married.”

“We were willing to fight for our relationship and make it work. We love each other. Anyway, I’ll tell John that I’m not yet divorced when the time is right. I didn’t think that was an appropriate subject to bring up on the first date.” I said.

“Haven’t you already lied to John enough for one lifetime? A lot has happened since you left John and both of you have changed. I just think that maybe you guys are trying to hold on to something that isn’t there anymore.”

“What are you saying?” I asked with a hint of anger in my voice.

“I’m saying that maybe you and John aren’t meant to be anything more than friends. I think there are better people out there for the both of you.”

“Just because you’re married and have a child on the way doesn’t mean you’re a relationship expert.” I snapped.

Ashley headed towards the door but turned around before leaving and said, “I’m not saying I’m an expert. I’m just being honest when I say I think you guys would be happier if you stopped living in the past.”

Ashley left and I stood there wondering if she was right. Were John and I holding on too tightly to something when we should be letting go?