Status: Completed - thanks for reading!

Uncharted Territory

Cold Feet

Grace

I walked into the dress shop and wanted to walk right back out. Everything was overwhelming. White and tulle were the only things I could see, the smell of perfume was overpowering, and the screeching of girls finding their perfect dresses was too much for me to handle. The excitement exuding from my friends wasn’t much help either.

“Hi ladies. Do you have an appointment?” The lady, whose name tag read Samantha, from behind the counter asked.

“Yes, appointment for Williams at 1,” I answered.

“Ok. You guys are having dress fittings today, correct?” Samantha asked and I smiled and nodded. “Great. Follow me.”

I, along with my mother, sister, who was my maid of honor, and three bridesmaids, followed her back to a large room with multiple mirrors.

“We’ll have the maid of honor and bridesmaids try on their dresses first,” Samantha said, handing out the dresses to the girls.

“So when is your wedding?” Samantha asked.

“June 25th. So about a month and a half away.”

“You must be very excited.”

“I am,” I smiled but in the back of my mind I couldn’t help but think how I couldn’t wait for everything to be over. I had convinced myself that my cold feet was just my frustrations with the wedding and all the planning. Once I was married to John everything would be fine…at least I hoped.

“We’re all very excited but there is still so much to do,” My mom said and she and Samantha began talking about all the details of my wedding but I just tuned them out.

“I’m so glad you didn’t pick out an ugly dress,” Tessa said as she emerged from the dressing room.

“I threatened her life if she picked out an ugly dress,” Ashley laughed as she came out of the dressing room too.

Chloe, my cousin and a bridesmaid, and Reagan emerged next.

“I’m just glad my hair doesn’t clash with it,” Reagan laughed slightly.

“Are any of the groomsmen single? I look good in this dress and I don’t want it to go to waste,” Chloe smirked.

“Kennedy, my brother is single,” Reagan spoke up.

As those words left her mouth a pang went through my stomach and a sour taste overcame my mouth. “Didn’t he just break up with his girlfriend though?”

“Yeah, so…” Reagan trailed of as she gave me a questioning look.

“Well he probably doesn’t want to jump into a new relationship right away,” I said.

“He probably needs a shoulder to cry on…and I am more than willing to be that shoulder. Make sure to introduce us at the wedding, Reagan,” Chloe winked as everyone else laughed. I tried to laugh along with them but it came out short and forced.

“Ok, is the bride ready to try on her dress?” Samantha asked and for the first time that day I was glad for her excitement.

I nodded and followed Samantha back to the dressing room as I heard everyone behind me talking about how they couldn’t wait to see my dress.

I got on the dress and looked myself in the mirror. Samantha was gushing about how great it looked on me but I tuned her out as I thought about how I felt like I was a fake. I didn’t feel like a bride. It almost felt like an out of body experience.

I walked out ot where everyone was and braced myself for their reactions. As soon as I stepped out I heard multiple squeals and phrases like, “Grace, you look like a princess,” and “Grace, you’re the most beautiful bride I have ever seen.”

I smiled my thanks at everyone but still couldn’t get rid of the weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Everyone’s dresses were pinned where they needed to be let out or taken in and the staff at the bridal store promised the alterations would be done in time. I didn’t really care though. If the dresses weren’t ready I’d have an excuse to postpone the wedding.

I said goodbye to everyone after they changed back into normal clothes and sighed as they all left.

“It’s a little tiring, isn’t it?” My mom asked as she rubbed my back. “I know it seems like we still have a lot to do but I promise it will all get done before the wedding.”

“Umm…yeah, I know,” I said forcing a smile. “I think I’m going to run and get a coffee. I’ll see you at home ok?”

“Ok sweetie, see you in a little bit. Don’t forget Ashley, Colin, and Ryder are coming over for dinner.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll be there,” I reassured my mom. I waved goodbye to her before walking over to the Starbucks across from the shop. I noticed Reagan had gone over there so I figured I would join her.

“Mind if I join you?” I asked Rae as I motioned to the chair across from her.

“Of course not,” she smiled.

We were silent for a little while until I asked, “How did you know moving back to Massachusetts was the right choice?”

Reagan sighed. “I realized that it was what was best for me. It may not be what I want but it’s what I need.”

I looked down at my hands still as confused as before. “I just…this wedding…I mean…I love John, I really do. I’m just not sure if I love him and want to be with him forever or love him because I feel as if I owe it to him for running off and marrying someone else when we were younger.”

“You mean you have cold feet?”

“I think it’s more than cold feet; I’m second guessing this wedding.”

“Well when are you going to make a decision?” Reagan snapped.

“I don’t know.”

“Have you always been this selfish?”

“What?” I asked in surprise.

“Have you always only cared about yourself and not about others? Do you not understand how many people you’ll be hurting if you go through with this wedding when you’re not even sure if you love John? John deserves so much more than that.”

“I don’t want to hurt John though.”

“If you go through with the wedding while you’re second guessing it you’ll not only hurt him, you’ll hurt tons of other people too.”

“Like who?”

Reagan looked as if she was about to say something but stopped herself. “It doesn’t matter, Grace. You just really need to figure your feelings out and be 100% sure about this wedding.”

I stared at Reagan as she stormed out of Starbucks. I wasn’t sure why the conversation made her so upset but I knew she was right. If I went through this wedding while I was second guessing it I would be hurting people who didn’t deserve it. Now I just needed to decide if this wedding was what I wanted, and if it wasn’t, how to put a stop to it.
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