In Over My Head

"How long are you gonna stay like that?"

I looked to the side, "Infinity plus 1"

Jasper scowled at me, "Your turning red"

I sighed and picked myself up; I'd been laying on my bed with my head hanging off the edge wanting to pass out or something.

Jasper sat at one of my bean bag chairs looking up at my ceiling focusing on one of the trillions of little plastic glow in the dark stars that I've had since I was five. The glow in the dark had worn off but they're still pretty to look at and reminisce.

He shook his hair slightly making it go towards his face, "You're not still, y'know..?" He asked nervously.

It'd been three days since Jasper 'accidentally' kissed me. I got over it; especially since I had Ever on my mind most of the time. But Jasper kept the conversations coming back to that.

"No Jasper" I said once again, poor guy, he was like fourteen, right around the time they start getting love struck and confused, "Look it's okay, and don't say 'sorry'" I said quickly for he'd opened his mouth, "There's nothing to apologize for"

He looked down sheepishly, "I just..." then he blushed.

I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, "You told Danny, didn't you? What'd he tell you?" I asked knowingly.

Jasper blushed more and bowed his head mumbling, "He said it was pathetic that my first kiss had come from my soon-to-be sister"

I rolled my eyes, "I doubt that Mr. Smarticle has any experience with girls, either"

Jasper cracked a smile and looked up, "Ha, yeah, afterwards, he asked me for your number"

"Great, I'm turning into a prostitute" I mumbled bitterly remembering the stupid make out session with Damian.

I sighed over-dramatically and threw myself back, landing sprawled on my bed with a 'THUD'.

"So I'm guessing it's that Ever guy" Jasper said with a tired tone.

"Jaz, you just don't get it.." I sighed.

"Well tell him how you feel" He suggested with an indifferent voice.

"What? That I miss him?"

"Well.."

I sat back up, "Don't start with that, I don't 'love' Ever, not in that way. I have the same feelings for him that I have for you" I snapped but my gut was telling me that that wasn't true so I sighed again feeling really confused.

Jasper shrugged, it was silent for a moment, then he spoke, "So are you really letting the wedding go on?"

I pursed my lips and nodded, honestly I really didn't want Cruella Deville as a step-mother but I'd only have to live here for two more years then I'd move away and at least Jasper got to see his dad.

__________________________________

I got up in the morning and did the same routine; dragged Jasper out of bed forcefully, took a shower, and got dressed. School wasn't the place I really wanted to be right now with all that happened, but it had to be done.

I'd just pulled on my converse when there was a knock on the door. "COME IN!" I yelled from the bathroom floor.

"Good morning, off spring" Sherry's voice said from behind the bathroom door. I stood up and walked into my room.

She was standing behind the invisible line that separated my room from the hallway. Vampire, I thought. Sherry looked at me with disdain and then, weirdly smiled.

"You won't be going to school today," She said to us though I doubt Jasper heard because he was sprawled on the floor breathing heavily, "We're gonna fit you for your wedding outfits"

I scowled, "I have to wear a dress, don't I?"

She smiled wider showing her artificially platinum white teeth, "Silly girl, not only that, you're gonna be one of my bride's maids"

I made a noise of distaste, "Ew, listen, she-devil, if you dress me in pink I will literally cut off your ugly blond hair"

Sherry smiled at my threat, "Come down stairs in a minute, your grandma's coming with us"

"What about dad?"

"Something about going fishing with that nasty old geyser"

She left before I could kill her.

_____________________________________

When we got to the store (which by the way was called "Little Miss's and Mr.'s Dress Shop) and entered, Sherry and I squealed; her because the other bridesmaids were there and she went to go hug them and me because this place was horrible.

The dresses on the girl mannequins made me think that Children-hating clowns created them.

Immediately me and Jasper were hurried over to sit in front of the fitting room whilst the grown ups went to find us something to wear.

"Y'know she's gonna try to get revenge for that wedding dress we made her buy, right?" Jaz said with a hopeless voice.

I sighed heavily, "I know"

The first dress reminded me off my trip to the county fair when I was four; picture lots and lots of vomit. I guess my Grandma was thinking that too because she rushed me back inside the fitting room ignoring Sherry's protests.

The next wasn't any better, it was a lot similar to Little Bo Peep's dress and in deep hot pink. "No" I said at once itching all over from the rough material.

"I kinda like it" snickered Jasper encouraging them to buy it, and for that he got the purple tuxedo-like suit with lacy ruffles around his neck.

"I hate you" He growled on our trip back home.

I tried to resist laughing, "Oh don't worry you'll only have to wear it once, besides just don't invite Danny and I'm sure no one will recognize you"

"But I already did" He said mortified. I burst out laughing.

________________________

By next Friday they had everything set and ready. The wedding was going to be tomorrow at Lincoln's Pass Park and the reception at our house. Only around 50 people were coming and unfortunately that involved Damian and his family cause apparently his mom knew Sherry.

I rolled my eyes when he told me that (we were on speaking terms now and pretended nothing ever happened that night); his family was rich, Sherry probably just wanted a great wedding gift, like a jacuzzi or something; I told Damian to tell his mom that Sherry's religion prohibits her from receiving gifts..

"Hello, Panda bear"

My head shot up, I had been thoroughly concentrated on feeding Fucker Jr. I hadn't noticed my Grammy enter my room, "I though you were at the hospital with the rest of them?"

Grammy gave a small chuckle; this morning Sherry had gotten a bouquet of orange blossoms, apparently she was allergic to them, "No I'm sure your stepmother'll be okay; me and your grandpa just got back. He fell asleep"

I gave a small smile and looked at Jasper sprawled on his bed sleeping like he was in a coma.

My grandma sat next to me on my bed and took Fucker Jr taking over the feeding process; interestingly she was the only one that actually liked to care for him, besides Ever..

I sighed just as she said "I remember when you were this small" with a nostalgic sparkle in her blue eyes. My grandma loved reminding me that I used to be a helpless little baby.

I scowled, "I know, I know, I was smaller than your hand"

She smiled fondly at me, "You hardly ever cried, you know, and by your first year you were already walking"

I grinned, "See, I was smart"

My Grammy smiled at me again but said, "What I meant was that you hardly let anybody do anything for you. You preferred to take care of yourself."

"Is that bad?" I asked confused.

She rocked Fucker Jr. from side to side, "Of course not, hunny bee, but sometimes you've got to remember you aren't a super hero, you can ask for help when you need it,"

I frowned, "I like dealing with things by myself, and asking for help says that your weak" I said stubbornly.

Grammy smiled at me with knowing glint in her eye, "No it shows that your strong to trust people when your at your most vulnerable"

So this was what she was getting to; before my thirteenth birthday when her and Grandpa had moved away my Grammy always came by and asked me about my day. I wasn't the most open girl, and she knew it, my sarcasm and funny mood covered up what was really going on in my head. Like the time I got in trouble for the incident with Jessica Whiler's doll. I wouldn't talk about what she'd said to me but somehow my grandma knew.

"Grammy, I'm not hiding anything. I'm not 'bottling' up my feelings" I quoted her past lectures.

She stopped rocking Fucker Jr. and handed him to me and stood. She walked over and reached into one of my drawers.

"Hey--!" I tried to protest but my Grammy brought out a single orange blossom.

"Grandmas always know" she said with a gentle chastising smile, "You should talk to your father. He's always been a hopeless romantic and although actions do speak louder than words I doubt he's noticed any of your shenanigans. Like the wedding dress" she raised her eyebrows but cut me off when I tried to protest. "Remember; you're human, you've got about as much strength as the next person, don't test your limits, don't hold things in"

And with that she left the room.

I sighed, "What am I supposed to do then?" I asked out loud rhetorically.

Jasper gave a loud snore.

"Thanks for the help" I replied bitterly.