In Over My Head

*six weeks later*

"Yes." "No." "Maybe." "Yes." "No." "Maybe." "Sure." "I guess." "No, thanks." "Yes." "No." "Maybe another time." "I'm fine." "Yes, please." "Will you just shoot me.. I mean no I do not want onions on that" "Sorry" "No" "Yes" "I dunno"

Those were my practical responses for the next month and a half. I couldn't say I was morbidly depressed. Like an over-weight person wouldn't be morbidly obese. I was on that road but not quite there yet. Yes I could breathe and eat and sleep. I wasn't insane like people accused me to be. Though, their funny stares were getting me there.

I wasn't flunking school. Actually I was getting better in my studies. I wasn't drinking my sorrows away with the cheap vodka my step-mother had in the kitchen. (I'd learned my lesson the first time). I wasn't even moping around. I could smile. And sincerely. Especially when Jasper was around; somehow he seemed to know I needed him and I was grateful for that.

But at the same time it felt like something was missing. Of course it was. But that feeling never went away and i was starting to get really sick. Headaches all the time. Dizziness. Nausea. Lethargy. (if that's even a word). But i was functioning for the most part. I mean the world does go on, right?

Damian, on the other hand, was broken. He was even more shattered than me. At least Ever had still deeply loved me. Damian knew Ever resented him with his whole being and that sucked hardcore. But he never let it show. That first week after the funeral everyone kept saying sorry to both of us. I usually ran from the pity party. But it seemed Damian was full of encouraging smiles and "It's rough but I'll manage"s.

Only I could see the deep pain pounding in his eyes, screaming 'Help me!'. But for some reason I just couldn't be near him no less save him. I guess I sort of blamed him. But I didn't resent him. I pitied him for the most part.

"Home" I called as I entered my house. I dragged my bag across the living room floor and dumped it onto the sofa. It was finally Friday. Finally the last day of school. And it was finally over. I plopped down next to my bag onto the couch. It was bulky and heavy from all the things I'd emptied out of my locker.

I lay my head back against the wall as I heard footsteps coming. I hoped it was Jasper but they were heavier.

"Hey, Pandora, how was your last day of school?" My father asked.

He sounded rather distracted and antsy. I looked at him. He had a big fat smile plastered on his face. "Oh no what are you planning?" I said with desperation.

"Nada" My dad swore, "It's just that, well, being that it is your... birthday" he whispered the last part, "I thought long and hard on what to give you.."

I cringed at the sound of 'birthday'. I thought he'd forgotten. So far nobody had said it. But yes, it was my day of birth, today June 13th. Yes I was born on Friday the 13th. How hilarious is that?

Not much since it was the same day my mother died.

"And?"I persisted. I wasn't crazy about my birthday like other people were. You're just a year closer to death. Pandora's Box may i remind you?

"Well I've got two gifts" He grinned, "Though one of them doesn't arrive 'till next month"

I guessed he ordered my some books, or a laptop. Or anti-depressants. "Cool I guess" I said shrugging not feeling like getting up.

"Come see one of your gifts; it's up in your room"

"Is it a puppy?" I asked rather monotonously.

My father grimaced at me, "You don't like pets" He reminded me.

"La-di-da" I stated.

He rolled his eyes at me and led me down the hall and up the stairs.

"So where's my darling step-mother?" I asked sarcastically.

"Dropping Jasper off at his friend Danny's house" He replied non-chalantly, "By the way, we're going out for dinner. There's food in the fridge. Extra chocolate, chocolate cake for dessert as well.

"Bleh" I complained, "Old married couples still go out for dates in public?"

He shook his head as we climbed up the stairs, "Not nice, Pandora"

"Never claimed to be" I muttered under my breath.

He pretended not to have heard that and opened the door to my room letting me go in first. It looked the same to me. There was no package atop my bed nor new appliances anywhere. Maybe it was an air-freshener. I sniffed the air. Smelled like peppermint to me, like always.

Then my dad opened the door to my closet.

I stopped in my tracks. Wow.

"No fudging way" I whispered as I stared at it.

My dad grinned and took the hanger off the rack and placed it upon my bed. It made it look ten times more elegant.

"Glad you like it" My father said.

I looked at him stunned, "Like it??" It was a dress. but not any dress. It was the dress of my dreams. I practically drooled as I stared at it again. It was a dark purple black and knee length. It had a loop that hung around the neck instead of straps to hold it up. beads trailed along the bodice sparkling purplish and the skirt was light-looking with a messy look to it. it was beautiful.

"I fudging love it?! Ohmydinosaur, where did you get it? And how much did it cost? Oh you shouldn't have, did you go poor? Well I'm so sorry but I suppose a dress like this would be non-refundable, I guess--"

My dad laughed, "Calm down, Andy, I'm not poor. The dress was a gift from your grandma Dilly who asked me to give it to you for your birthday. Said something about it being horrifically wrong for a seventeen year old young woman to not own one dress."

I grinned, so Grandma Dilly, "Of course. But.."a thought struck me, "what am i supposed to wear it for? Don't tell me your planning a birthday party" I grimaced suspiciously.

He shook his head smiling, "Nope, but you know what today is, didn't you?"

"Uh, my birthday? Emelia's death anniversary, should I wear it to go visit the cemetery?" i asked confused.

At that notion he slightly frowned but shook his head, "No, Pandora, today is the Jr Prom"

Ah, yeah that. See my high school sets up a major blow out prom for the graduating seniors with all the works and hosts it at nearby hotel. And the same night they also throw a Jr. Prom for the juniors. It's a cheap replica that's hosted in the gym. Stupid, right?

"And? I'm not going" I stated firmly.No fudging way was I attending that lame party.

He looks into my eyes and smiles slightly, "Whatever you say" then he walks right out my room.

_____________________

Against my better judgment i ended up going. I put on the beautiful dress, applied some makeup, curled my hair into waves, and put on some black flats. So was not going in heels. Then i climbed into my midnight blue car. I sighed. Why was i going?

Because i needed to have fun? No. Because i wanted to dance? I didn't dance. Because i wanted food? The food the school bought is likely cheap and stale. Because I'm afraid to be alone in the house? Probably.

I parked outside the gym and made my way in there. As i suspected the decorations were horrid. There were orange and black streamers hanging from the ceiling from last semesters Halloween dance and a bunch of pink and red heart balloons from the Valentine's Day dance on the Friday before the Valentine's Day Concert. Wow.

But none-the-less all the attendants came in tuxedos and long pretty dresses. Even Billy Hanson, who usually wore something that looked like his mom picked out for him, was in a handsome black tux. I was impressed. The lights were so dim that you couldn't see who was making out in the corners. And there weren't much chaperons.

I made my way over to sit on the bleachers. I stared at all the couples dancing with a faint smile on my face as i listened to the music play. Surprisingly it was pleasant. Something of what i listen to.

And then suddenly Damian sat next to me. He was in a tux as well and his hair was jelled back making him look sexy. But he looked miserable. "Hey, Andy" he said, "Can i sit here"

"I suppose so, since you already are"I replied without emotion.

It was quiet for a while as we watched the couples dance and then he said, "You look pretty"

"Thanks" I half-sighed.

"I'm sorry" he said.

"I know" I sighed and without looking at him i knew he had started to cry.

"It was my fault" he whispered rather weakly. It made me want to throw up, my head started spinning again and i wished i hadn't come. I wasn't ready to spill my guts out to anybody; especially not Damian.

"No" I said half-heartily, "Not completely."

"Ever hates me. He was like a brother to me, and i cant believe what i did. I don't think I'll forgive myself, ever."

I gulped, "Don't say that" I was so close to letting it all out. but i wasn't going to go there. "Things happen. The past is the past."

i patted him on the back till he cooled down and smiled at me, "Y'know i really never pictured it like this. I knew Ever liked you after we met you. And i thought it was gonna be your classic dork loves freak whom falls for the jock."

At that I grinned, "Oh silly Damian, you should've known that the freak and the dork were going to fall in love"

"And what about the jock?" He asked offended.

I shook my head smiling slyly, "Turns out he was gay"

"Not cool"Damian growled shoving me slightly, "Then how did i father Fucker Jr?"

I laughed, "He was an adopted plastic baby, you didn't father him, unless your Barbie's boyfriend Ken, are you?"

He rolled his eyes at me.

Ah Fucker Jr. I never thought i 'd miss him. Though Mr. Opal gave me a B- for my work on him. But sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night around the time Fucker Jr. would start crying when i forgot to take out his batteries and i would look around confused and rather sad. I guess he'd grown on me.

And then i realized i still had my hand draped casually along Damian's back and that he'd gotten closer. I stood up. No, i wasn't going to risk letting me and him get close while both of us were vulnerable, especially not in this dimmed light.

"Restroom" I muttered and climbed down the bleachers. I walked to the back and opened the door that led me to the trophy room. It was were teens usually made out and hooked up during school but at the moment it was completely empty. The moonlight spilled in from the glass windows and reflected against the glass cases the trophies were in.

I ran my hand along that shiny glass and sighed.I felt like Cinderella in this dress and yet i had no Prince Charming because he was Sir. Damian the Dimwit of Jerk ville and i didn't want him. I was in love with my servant and he'd left me. I was Loserella now. I was going die alone.

Suddenly the glass reflection changed, and I gasped out, "Prince Charming!" as i turned.

Ever gave me a strange look, "i wouldn't consider myself 'Prince Charming', but i suppose, my queen, whatever pleases your platypus."

I stood staring at him as he smiled at me gorgeously. My eyes burned and i felt the need to clear my throat, but i couldn't make a noise. What if he disappeared?

Everard Grace was in black jeans and a white button-up longs leave shirt completed with a midnight blue clip-on tie. His long dark brown hair was scattered messily along the perimeter of his head and his hazel eyes shimmered as he stared back at me.

He took a test step towards me and suddenly i flung my self at him. No, not to hug him, to hit him. Everywhere.I punched and punched and scratched with all my might.

"Ow! Ouch! Hey! Andy! Stop! Ouch,my arm!" He exclaimed. I finally stopped when he said that.

"Sorry" I murmured stepping back, "I hadn't known i had that much pent up rage"

"Neither did i" he said rubbing his chest. but i was starring at his left arm. It looked bulkier than the other because i knew it had padding underneath the shirt sleeve.

"Let me see" I ordered.

At that he quieted down, "It'll be bad"

"Let me see" I repeated determinedly.

He sighed and pulled his sleeve up. His left arm was covered with a big bandage. I stared until he peeled it back. The sight was almost as worse as when I'd found him doing it to himself. There were scars of all sizes along the length of his arm and all were sown with stitches making it look like a fake arm. I looked away and waited until i heard him put back the bandage and pull down his sleeve.

"I'm sorry" Ever muttered stepping closer again, this time i walked up and did hug him. He smelled of chocolate. Why did he always smell like chocolate? Ever wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pressed me into him. he was warm and comforting. Oh how I'd missed him.

"i know" I murmured into his shoulder. My heartbeat rapidly. "I love you either why" I slightly complained.

"As do i; Happy Birthday, my love" I could hear the grin in his voice. Then he pulled slightly away and kissed me. The explosion was better than i remembered.

How Far We've Come by Matchbox Twenty was playing in the background.

________________

3rd person.

That night Ever walked Andy home. They laughed and smiled and conversed about many things never once frowning our crying. It's a miracle how love can be your savior. Though many think love is about being happy all the time. It's not. It's about caring and sharing a connection that can never be broken. It's there through thick and thin and it reminds you you have something to live for.

That's why Andy chose not to dwell in what was going to eventually happen in the morning. They climbed into bed and chose instead to enjoy the time they had together.

But morning did come and that's what Ever saw when he opened his eyes. He dressed and pulled on his shoes.

He knew what he had to do now, he'd known it for the past 6weeks though he hadn't the strength to do it. And now he did. Now that he finally comforted Andy and gained some closure. He knew that once he went out the door he'd never be back.

Ever turned back to look at Andy. Her hair looked wild and her eyeliner was smudged making her look like a deranged raccoon. She was in a strange position and her left leg dangled from the bed.

She looked beautiful, as always.

Turning back around and walking out the balcony window was the hardest thing Ever had ever done. But before he climbed down he left a wrapped box on the floor of the balcony. He hoped she understood what it meant. Then he climbed down and disappeared.

Pandora's box lay on the balcony floor awaiting to be opened.