From Teenager to Daddy in a Matter of Months

I stood up abruptly and handed Jacoby quickly over to me. “I have to go.” Both the cops and ma just looked at me as my eyes began to water again. “I have to go.” I repeated much louder this time and walked out franticly looking for my keys. I found a set and stormed out the front door.

“Bob where are you going?” ma called after me and the cops following her. I fiddled with the keys trying to make one fit into the ignition, ignoring what she was calling out to me. “Get out of the car.” She told me softly. I shook my head and whacked the stirring wheel in frustration. “Honey, come on. I know how you’re feeling, we can talk about this.”

“Talk?!” I yelled looking straight a head. “The only person I want to talk to is dead and I aint no psycho that talks to the dead.” I just let shit come out. When I’m upset or pissed off I ramble about nothing. “I mean fuck the one you loved never killed them selves, or did drugs behind your back or had cancer and never told you. So how exactly would you know how the fuck I feel?”

“No you’re right your father never killed himself or had cancer but he did do drugs. And he left me broke with a toddler and a newborn baby the time I wasn’t talking to my parents. I struggled for years before I would ever talk to them again, you shouldn’t be so ungrateful you have a family that cares and does want to help you.”

As I was opening the door of the car her words did strike me. I did have family and yeah I guess I was lucky she was helping me out. “Ma I’m sorry I just…” I trailed off I couldn’t explain why I bitched to her it wasn’t as though it was her fault.

“It’s okay just come back inside, please?” her eyes pleaded for me to agree with her and I simply nodded hanging my head down as she put her arm around me. “I know you’re hurting but you’re not the only one that is. Think of her brother, you’re son, her friends and family they are all hurting as well as you.”

I nodded and looked to see Jacoby sitting in the high chair not looking the best. His skin was pale and he looked as though he was sweating. “What’s wrong with him?” one of the officers asked and I just started at my son as he began to cry.

“I dunno could be he just had the last bottle Cass pumped and there probably was heroin in her system.” I mumbled and picked him up. The second I lay my hand to his head I could feel the cold beds of sweat and the heat of Jacoby’s skin. “I’m going to the hospital.” I sniffed and wiped back my tears before moving out of the house.

“You can’t drive.” Ma told me and I gave her a questioning look and so did the cops. “You’re way to upset, let Jason drive you. Please I don’t want you doing something you could regret.” I went along with her having no clue why she wouldn’t let me drive.

I jumped into the back seat and strapped Jacoby in just as Jason jumped into the drivers seat. “Why won’t she let me drive? Like what the hell have I done wrong?” I asked expecting an answer.

“Dude in case you haven’t noticed you drank two bottle off Jack Daniel and the cops just talked to you. That is never a good mixture with you.” He smiled and glanced in the mirror. “So what were the pigs talking to you about anyway?”

“They we’re telling me shit about Cassie.” The smile wiped from his face and he looked more serious and was about to ask me was I okay until I began to speak again. “When she had her fifteen week scan the doc found she had cancer on her ovarian she never told me and she refused treatment. She was shooting heroin since then, that’s their guess anyway.”

“Aw dude I’m sorry…” he muttered shit to himself and went back to driving. The radio was playing and I caught a line, which at that moment, meant a lot and did reflex me.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

I thought well hell maybe this pain I’m through is for some shitting reason I really don’t know about. Yeah life is unpredictable and sometimes-good shit comes out of it, Jacoby being the main good thing that came out of sex. I wasn’t so sure about the whole ‘hope you had the time of your life’ ‘cause Cassie never got to live her life to the full.

The second I saw the hospital I undid my seat beat and got ready to rush in with Jay. I mean hell yeah I did read the baby books but man they don’t tell you shit about this happening when they are so young, and he’s pretty small too so naturally as I parent I was worried.

“I’ll meet you in A and E in a couple I just gotta park this first.” Jason called out as I opened the door and I nodded in reply. I ran up to the chick at the desk and she looked at me.

“Hi how can I help you?” she asked flicking through files then looked back up to me.

“My six week old is burning up and running a cold sweat-” I said quickly and she rushed to my side, she was probably a nurse.

“Okay we’ll bring him inside we don’t know what way he could be he looks very sick for a six week old.” She gestured me to follow her and I did. She laid him on a table and began to check his heart and all that crap. “His temperature is fairly high, is there any history of heart problems on either side of his family?”

I tried to think fast about it but nothing was coming to mind. “No I don’t think so. I was meant to bring him in earlier Doc Wills wanted to check him out for heroin traces or something like that.”

“Heroin traces?” she gave me a weird look. “Have you or his mother give him heroin?”

“Fuck no. His mother just died and I just found out she has been an addict for the past seven months she was breast feeding so they wanted to check him out.” I told her sternly. No one was ever going to label me as a bad dad in my lifetime or Jay’s.

“Okay, I’ll page Doctor Wills. From what you’ve told me it sounds like the heroin has flushed out of his system and he is now suffering from withdrawal symptoms.” She told me and continued to put a needle in his tiny hand. “The most we can do is keep him monitored for the next few days and keep him on a drip to try get the drug out of him.”

“So
he won’t be on any medication or shit?”

“No we can’t give drugs to someone that is trying to withdraw from them.” She paused and looked up at me. “Listen I know you look worried but he will be fine. If he hasn’t suffered from anything harmful since birth he should get through this just fine.” She gave me the sympathy smile. I fucking hate it now.

“Thanks.” I watched her walked out and leave me and Jay in the small covered off area. Jay was still sweating madly when Jason walked in. he greeted us with a hey and sat down. “They think he’s going cold turkey on the drugs. They’re calling a doc down to see him now.”

“Well I guess that’s good.” He muttered as a nurse walked in. I watched him as he checked her out. “So, erm, how long to do you want me to stay here for?” he asked not removing his eyes from her ass.

“Not to long wouldn’t want you to miss out on high school now would I?” I asked smugly as the nurse gave him a quick glance then walked back out again. “Dude dream on she’s way out of your league. You have no chance with her.”

“What can I say I’m a horny bastard?” He smiled and I slightly smiled to.

Something I thought I might not ever be able to do.