For You

August 2, 2011
5:00 AM
Location – Old Peterborough Hospital, Peterborough, Ontario, Canada
Jordan

“Are you hanging in there still?”
“I’m hanging in there, just a little tired. Are you still thinking of how we are going to get the hell out of here?”
“Pretty much. I don’t see a god damn window in this room.”

I tell her as I attempt to scan the room from my view. It was dark and I couldn’t make out anything, not to mention that I was still tied to a chair. I wasn’t tired, if anything; I had a burst of energy in me for whatever reason. “Azalia, the only way I think we are going to get out of here is through that damn door.”

“This is all my fault.”
“This is no ones fault.”
“Jordan, if I weren’t such a bitch to you, we wouldn’t be here right now.”
“Baby, I promise you this is not your fault. We didn’t see this coming, I promise you it is not your fault.”

She’s still squeezing my hand, while trying to contain herself from sobbing again. She shouldn’t be blaming herself for this, it wasn’t her fault, nor was it mine. I shut my eyes for a good few minutes, trying to think of the right thing to say. I bite my lip, telling myself just to stay quiet and figure out how to get us out of here.

“No, it is my fault. If I just had the nerve to tell you how I felt –“
“Azalia, its okay.”
“It’s not okay. We wouldn’t be here, in this mess. You wouldn’t have gotten you’re ass kicked just now.”
“And almost killed…”
“What?!”
“Twice might I add.”
“Jordan, he tried to kill you?”

Great, this was going to be a good one to explain to her. It was bad enough that she was already scared to death, but it was another thing that she knew Spencer almost killed me. I let out a sigh; she was going to have to know eventually about my car. “He blew my car up.”

“HE BLEW THE BEAMER UP!?”
“Yeah, my car is dead…but I bought a used wrangler in black.”
“Awe! Did you name it Bruce?”
“In your honor…oh, he also sent someone to kill me.”
“What?”
“Wait, this gets even better Lia…I think a serial killed owned the wrangler before me.”
“What makes you think that?”
“What if I told you I found a hand gun in the glove compartment and I used it on the guy who tried to kill me?”
“JORDAN LEE STAAL! YOU KILLED SOMEONE!?”
“Great, your going to sound like my mother now.”
“WHY WASN’T I WITTNESSING THIS!? I mean, you killed someone, that’s hot Jordan.”

A little bit of laughter came out of me. She wasn’t mad at me for killing someone; she found it hot, which was better than the reaction I was expecting. I mean, I didn’t plan on killing anyone but Spencer, but using a handgun earlier must’ve made the situation better for her for whatever reason. “You really went through hell and back tonight.”

“Just for you.”
“Are you okay though?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Jordan, did you break any body part again?”
“I’m not sure, I may have glass somewhere in me.”
“Yet, you’re still standing.”
“What can I say, I’m like Iron Man.”
“Okay Gronk.”

We’re both laughing now and it was at that given moment I would’ve given anything just to bring her face to mine and stare at her and not say anything as she stares at me back, and stay in that moment for the rest of my life. I wanted to then tell her it was going to be okay and that after all of this, we were going to go back to our normal lives while starting something new with our friendship.

“How’s everyone at home?” She asks.
“You’re mother and siblings are worried sick. Jared cried when Spencer got on the phone like a baby.”
“Jare-Bear!”
“Lindsay and Tanya are both so worried, they care about you and your siblings so much. My mom is a wreck because she loves you like you’re her own child…I think she loves you more than your own mother, my siblings, and myself. My dads not showing any emotion but he’s worried.”
“What about Eric and Marc?”
“They are waiting up for you and I.”
“Are you serious?”
“Their worried about my mom.”
“I miss them, I miss them so much.”
“I know you do. I miss them too.”

She’s squeezing my hand tightly again, as I squeeze back, praying to God she doesn’t start crying again. I close my eyes again, trying to picture what everyone at home was doing. So far, I could see everyone crowded in the kitchen, Marc making more coffee, Tanya consoling my mother and Mrs. Gianni, Lindsay sitting with Azalia’s siblings trying to cheer them up, and Jared trying to catch up on sleep at the table. I really did miss them, I missed them a lot and I know Azalia did too.

“Why me Jordan?”
“What?” I ask, snapping back to reality.
“Why me and not Heather?”

I knew at one point she was going to have to ask me that question, even though I was dying to know why someone like her or anybody would ever love me. I sigh and then take in a deep breath, as I try to put my thoughts together so they would make sense as I spoke of them. This wasn’t working out properly though, only because I was in love with her and I couldn’t explain to her why because my thoughts would honestly not make sense. It was like I had this feeling I couldn’t even explain in me, that’s how I knew I was in love with her.

“Azalia…I don’t know how you want me to tell you this in a way that makes sense, but it’s like…God…I don’t even know how to explain it. When I’m with you…I feel more like myself than I’ve ever been with someone. With you, I can be real; I don’t have to be someone I’m not. You’re not perfect and I’m damn well okay with it because lets face it, no one is perfect. I love that about you. You’re a beautiful girl, on the inside and out and people don’t see that, I wish they did though because they’re missing out on getting to know an amazing girl like you. Azalia, you didn’t see me as Jordan Staal of the Penguins…you saw me as Jordan, that’s why I love you.”

“Jordan…”

She’s not saying anything now and I’m getting worried that’s not the answer she was looking for. I mean, she did ask why her and not Heather, I told her in a way I could only explain. “Jordan, that was the most precious thing someone has ever said to me.”

“I’d do anything for you Lia, go through hell, walk through fire, die for you—“
“What?”
“You damn well heard me Lia, I’d die for you.”

She’s not saying anything, because I’m pretty sure that what I just said was nothing but shock to her. It just rolled off my tongue without even me thinking about what to say. Sure, I had the tendency to not think before I talked, but this was just the icing of the cake of things I’ve said without thinking before speaking.

“Anyways, I don’t understand why a girl like you would love me so enlighten me Azalia.”
“Really Jordan, really? You really aren’t the brightest crayon in the box.”
“Lia, what’s that suppose to mean?” I say, almost laughing at her comment.

“Lets be real here Jordan, I thought Marc was cute, but when I met Lindsay, I realized that I envied her because she had such a good relationship with Marc, and that’s what I wanted with someone. I don’t know why you’d think I’d like Marc like that; I never did like him like that. It was always you, except I was too much of a chicken shit to tell you. Jordan, you are without a doubt one of the few people who looked past my flaws. Lets face it, I can be a bitch, I’m not stick skinny, I’m not blonde like Lindsay and Tanya, but you looked past all of that and accepted me for those flaws, and I love you for it. When people say you’re a dick when talking about athletes, I go off because they don’t know you the way I do. You’re right, I see you as Jordan, my best friend who I love from Thunder Bay. That’s why it was always you Jordan, that’s why I love you.”

What she said hit me like a truck hitting me. I felt my heart beat out of control as I squeezed her hand once more. I had one more shot of telling her I was serious about my feelings for her and I was not about to fuck that up. “Azalia, I promise you, after all of this, we will put our lives back together but I want something real with you. I don’t care if your seven hours away, I want something real.”

“You really do love me, don’t you?”
“I really do Azalia.”
“Thank you Jordan.”

With that, I let go of her hands and attempt playing with the rope that was tied to my wrists. I was going to get us out of here and then kill Spencer, because after this conversation she and I had, I felt energized, I felt like nothing and no one was going to get in my way. That’s when I heard something snap. I stop what I’m doing for a few seconds.

“Jordan, what was that?” She asks me.
“Azalia,” I begin, as I realize my wrists are free of the rope. “We’re getting the hell out of here.”